What would happen if Morgana was less Pendragon like
by Lady Flurryous
Summary: Brief summary: just a fiction about what Morgana could do in the episode 3x10, queen of hearts, and how it could have changed A LOT of things in the story. Also I added some drama (I wish I could use more genres), based on the awesome heartbreaking story "Bitter Hearts" of OCDdegrassi (I expect you see this as a compliment). Rated M for chapter 8.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Merlin fanfiction. I do not own Merlin, it belongs to BBC, etc, etc. Warning: Mergana pairing eventually, Arwen pairing, if you don't like, then don't read it, that's simple.**

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"Arthur, I heard what happened. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Arthur dismissed Morgana's apologies: "This was all my fault."

Approaching him, Morgana said: "You're not to blame"

Turning to face her, in obvious distress, he added: "I can't accept that I may never see her again."

Morgana continued: "Uther has banished her. Surely you have no choice."

Disagreeing with her, Arthur spoke: "There are always choices."

In confusion, his half-sister asked: "What will you do?"

Taking a moment to answer, the prince finally said: "I'll leave with her."

Incredulous, Morgana inquired: "You're leaving Camelot? You'd give up your rights to the throne?"

Then, standing up, her half-brother answered "One day we will return to Camelot together and Guinevere will take her place on the throne, beside me."

Morgana lowered her head a little, as if absorbing shocking information, lifting her head up and giving Arthur a reassuring smile.

She left the Prince's bedchamber and went directly to her room. If her brother spoke the truth (and for what reason wouldn't he? He isn't some traitorous, sneaky, annoying and bastard manservant, like some, that would lie to her for no apparent motive), then all she had to do was wait to be crowned princess of Camelot.

That would be a much smoother succession, Uther himself would proclaim her as the sole heir to the throne (_my father will finally recognize me as his daughter for the whole kingdom, my claim will be undisputed, _she thought), all she has to do was "wait" for his death. And there was something else (_if I don't meddle, if I don't frame her as a sorceress, then at least Arthur and Gwen could have something that I cannot, **to love and be loved, to have the happiness that was never meant for me, **instead of death or a life of misery_, she thought) that and the fact that her brother couldn't possibly go openly against her in an succession dispute in which he already began as an oath breaker, abandoning the whole of Camelot for a single woman.

Still, there was something bothering her, the inexplicable luck that her prat of a brother had when magic was involved (_it didn't make any sense. How did Morgause's spell simple blow out of control and caused the castle of Fryren to crumble conveniently **before** it hit Arthur? And it wasn't the first time that something similar happened, the prince dealt with his fair share of magical and common foes alike and, regardless of the odds, **always** got back in one piece, _she thought). There could be only one explanation: someone or something with magic was helping him, keeping him safe, for some unknown reason and that could mean that incriminate Gwen of witchcraft to win Arthur's heart could backfire or worse, that obnoxious manservant could thwart her plans (_guaranteeing that my maidservant takes **my **rightful place as queen_).

Indeed she had a tough decision to make, because eliminating her brother or her maidservant would make her vision **impossible**, whereas letting them go somewhere far away in order to live their love in peace could be good for the three of them, but it'd also mean that Arthur could be back at any time and claim the throne of Camelot, in opposition to her lift of the magic ban (_but would he have support from the people? Even with him abandoning his entire kingdom for one simple servant? Wouldn't they feel betrayed with such a selfish behavior? Putting his own needs above his duty with his people? Leaving them to suffer in the hands of a tyrant king that has no regards about who dies in his mad quest against magic? But they won't suffer anymore, because **I **won't let them. **I'**ll get Camelot free from Uther's tyranny, nobody will have to crumble in fear simple for who they are, how they were born, **I**'ll make sure of that_).

In truth, her indecision had other causes. It was probably because letting them go would mean she could forgive them completely – even if that was not their perfect scenery of a future together – and she wasn't sure if she could forgive them for what they had denied her. Distantly, she put a hand above her lean abdomen (_my happiness, the one that was taken from me, ripped apart as I laid **dying** in **his** arms_), that untold secret that could have changed the way Merlin had behaved … (_perhaps he'd have talked to me, explained to me **why** he had to kill me. To think that until now I don't exactly know why is what hurts the most. Was it because I have magic and he thought I was the cause of all the evil that roam this land? Was it because he knew I was the source of the sleeping spell, even though at that moment I wasn't aware of it? No, I have to stop dwelling on it, being attached to the past, it is something that can **never** change, no matter what is done, it's a weakness that I cannot afford to have if I'm to bring magic back to this land_.) Morgana shook her head as if attempting to clear her thoughts. She wasn't a weakling, she was a Priestess of the Old Religion, training to be a High Priestess like her sister, so self-pity wasn't an option and her actions couldn't be motivated by her emotions, that was what her sister have been trying to teach her for the last year and a half.

Standing in the middle of her chambers wasn't helping her came across a solution to her dilemma, so she went to the table and poured some wine to a goblet, taking a sip and then resting it atop of her vanity's surface. Then, she opened a drawer in which she kept some parchment, a quill and an ink bottle, and wrote two columns on a stray page: _reasons to let A & G live _versus _reasons to be disposed of then using magic_. That was it, she was going to be rational about it, follow her sister's advice, compare her options instead of deciding with the easiest way, which always involves the chance to use her magic.

Starting with the second column – because it was easier to just let her rage be filled again with the memory of their transgressions – she marked her first motive: (_I_) _making me keep my pregnancy a secret from Merlin_ and continued _which probably led him to murder our children without even knowing of their existence_. While she wrote down that phrase in the paper, she began blinking tear filled eyes. Immediately, she dried her tears with the sleeves of her dress, returning to her task. _(II) Uther's choice to throw away **any** life in order to have a male heir, even though I was already born_, adding her third reason – _(III) Uther never admitting my true parentage to not "threaten" Arthur's claim to the throne_ – continuing with the fourth – _(IV) Arthur's status as legitimate heir and next in line of succession, ahead of me_.

At the moment she was already suspecting that this was an idiotic move, filling a parchment with her true motives, but it was a something that Morgause had taught her, saying it could help her make a better decision if she tried to foresee the possible outcomes of her course of action, so instead of just tossing the paper in the hearth, she'd keep inscribing in the other column.

(_Ok, I have to try to write without pausing, the first thing that comes to my head_, she thought)

Then she began: _(I) because we are or used (?) to be friends; (II) because it would turn an enormous amount of people against them, at least everybody that believed in duty above happiness, that wouldn't support him if he tried to snatch my crown once Uther is dead; (III) it could have the same effect of Arthur's physical death, because he would no longer have a lawful claim to the throne; (IV) I wouldn't use my magic, hence avoiding any additional prejudice from the common folk in that subject._

That was getting interesting, that last line made her think deeper. Magic was feared in Camelot in general not only for Uther's hate on it, but for all the events that happened as a consequence of the persecution, as magical folk used any means they had just to keep their lives, causing damage to a lot of unrelated people, strengthening their fear and belief that their liar of a king was protecting that against it. Remembering the use of magic, she added another reason: _(V) the possibility that using a magical artifact backfires, probably because of Merlin_.

In writing his name her hand trembled with anger. That nosy servant, always finding a way to foil her plans, always able to hurt her somehow even with her well-built walls around her heart.

She looked at the piece of parchment again. She had one more reason to simple let life move on its own course and not interfere. Arthur's choice would certainly shock many, especially Uther, and that probably would led him to crowning her as Princess in a blink of an eye. But at the same time, the king could simple lock his son in his chambers as he exiled Gwen from the kingdom or just killed her – well, that would certainly put son against father, possibly in an challenge to death – so however she regarded the probable outcomes, just waiting for the day of her maidservant's departure was better than any other.

That was it. She would only observe as everything happens right in front of her eyes, Gwen and Arthur had already helped her more than any magical item or Morgause's spells had in the matter of attaining her goal as sole heir to Camelot's throne, and later sole sovereign. She just had to be patient. (_Oh, now eliminating evidence of my conspiracy_) Morgana proceeded in throwing the piece of paper in the fireplace, burning her list, so that her true thoughts would be kept in a secure place – her own mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, it belongs to BBC. Also, I cannot assure that the characters won't be kind of OCC, so read if you want to read this story, you're warned that you're reading it at your own risk.**

**A/N:**

**I'm sorry that the smut is not strong in this story, but we'll get there (after a lot of angst, drama and other things, muahahahahahahahahaha).**

**Thank you larasmith for the review. Please, have patience with me, it'll all be explained in its proper time. Look at my profile picture, it gives a hint about the pace I do things when I'm on dry ground.**

**And my special thanks for yesthenLucky9 and mgaudry too, for following this story. I really didn't expect this, reviews and follows so soon, I got emotional.**

**Sorry for the "engrish" too, yo no soy engrish nativo hablante, neither Spanish, so grammar mistakes are expected.**

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**Chapter 2**

A small crowd was reunited in front of the citadel's gate, the sound of many whispers could be heard from the townsfolk in the area. In the center of the courtyard the distinctive figures of Camelot's king, with his ward by his side, facing a clearly distraught prince – whose arm was laced with his true love, Guinevere.

Letting the rage show in his features, the King spoke:

"This is madness Arthur! How can you abdicate your place as Crown Prince for a mere servant? You're my son! You have sworn to obey me until the day of my death! **I am your father and your King and I command you to stay here in Camelot instead of going with her!**"

It was painful for the young prince to see his father so distressed, but he couldn't do it, he wouldn't condemn himself and Gwen to a life in misery, without love. There was no other way. He'd follow his heart desire. That wasn't only a selfish reason to do so because he knew, deep inside, that if he let Guinevere go by herself, something would die inside of him, his best part would perish and he would probably become like his father – bitter, harsh, with a hardened heart that sometimes stopped him to do the right thing – not the king he wants to be, not the ruler that the people of Camelot truly deserved after all the fear, all the work just to survive year after year with the few resources they had left when all the taxes were paid. No, when his kingdom needed his heir he'd came back, with his queen by his side and possible some new heirs. That last thought could almost turn the depressive mood a little brighter, but he still hadn't answered his father, so, breathing deeply and correcting his posture, Arthur spoke:

"Father, my decision is final. I love Guinevere and I would rather die than to live a life without her by my side. So wherever she'll go, I'll follow. If you want to keep me in Camelot, then you have to accept her as my future wife."

Almost losing all his composure, Uther yelled:

"**NEVER**!".

Making no effort to hide his sadness, Arthur spoke: "Then you give me no choice. I, Arthur Pendragon, relinquish my entitlement to the throne of Camelot."

Clenching his teeth, Uther said:

"And I, Uther Pendragon, accept your resignation. Beware of this, from now on you are no longer my son! You'll have no valid claim to my throne! You're no better than a common peasant!"

Glancing one last time to his son, the king turned his back to the former prince and returned to the palace, being followed by his guards and knights. Some of then gave their prince empathetic smiles meanwhile others were casting him a loathing gaze. The crowd started to disband, leaving Arthur, Gwen and Morgana nearly alone, aside from occasional passers.

Releasing a sigh, the prince spoke: "Well, it went much better than what I expected! Nobody is incarcerated or beheaded!"

Giving a soft squeeze to his hand and turning her head slightly to look at his eyes, Gwen whispered: "Arthur…"

To reassure his beloved, Arthur held her in his arms in a comforting hug, commencing a small smile to form on her lips.

Watching the touching scene, Morgana approached her former best friends and joined their embrace, holding both of them at the same time a single tear left her right eye. They stood there in the middle of the square for a few moments. Then Morgana stepped away from the lovers. She took a hand of each, they both looked at her, and so she began: "Arthur … Gwen … I don't know what to say to you …". She took a deep breath as if to make a point that their conversation was a difficult one and continued, directing her gaze to Arthur at first: "You were remarkable today. So brave, Arthur, I'm really proud of you. You didn't let Uther intimidate you and we both know that it's not an easy task. You stood your ground like a real man, in fact, like the better man that we know you are. I'm only desolated that you have to leave, both of you. Camelot will never be the same. It's going to become extremely dull". She gave a small laugh with the last sentence and kept talking, this time alternating her glance between her once friends: "and Gwen, you must beware that what you two have, the true love that you share for each other is something really precious, I'm certain that you'll treasure and dote on it. Seriously, both of you must be cautious not to lose one another in this life.". She felt a treacherous pang in her heart as she finished that phrase, but proceeded with her speech: "Oh, now I'm babbling random things. Just promise me one thing, so that I can keep my peace of mind, promise that the two of you will be happy, please." Then she made her best "_I'm having a really painful moment_" face and looked at them with pleading eyes.

With tears in their eyes, Arthur, holding a sob, and Gwen, not concealing her emotions and openly crying in front of her former mistress, said simultaneously: "We promise." and initiated another embrace that turned into a bear hug when the prince squeezed the ladies with a little more strength than necessary.

Escaping Arthur's death grip, regaining some air and at the same time trying, unsuccessfully, to smooth her dress with the movements of her hands, Morgana spoke: "Now, enough of sad moments. You have an endless adventure ahead of you, but not before I deliver my parting gift." She took a piece of parchment from the inside of her sleeve and gave it to her brother.

He opened it, revealing its content. It was a map, depicting the city of Camelot and its surroundings.

Confused, Arthur asked: "What is this, Morgana? Just because I lost my title doesn't mean that I suffered an age or mental regression. What are you trying to do, a treasure hunt, with map and all? How old are you, twelve?"

Sounding annoyed, she crossed her arms above her breasts and replayed: "And it's one of the biggest mysteries of the nature: how can Gwen love such an obnoxious, irritating, arrogant prat like you! It's as if an angel has fallen in love with a troll! Yes, you dollop head, that's exactly what it is. A map to my **real** parting gift, because, if you are capable of remember anything after all the hits that you received in that big head of yours, Uther prohibited you to take any of your possessions from the castle and extended it to me. Anyway, as I never obey him, I sneaked out in the middle of the night and left it there for you and Gwen!" She ended, obviously irritated.

"Oh … thank you, Morgana … for everything … I'll really miss you …" Arthur said and Gwen added: "Me too, you are really a good friend to us." So they hugged her again, briefly.

"Nonsense, I'm partially at fault in this whole mess. If I hadn't asked Uther to accompany me in that particular horse ride your secret would remain that way." Morgana pouted and released a sigh in order to appear frustrated in front of then.

"Well, Morgana, this is certainly not the best case scenario, but I'm relieved that Gwen and I don't have to hide our feelings for each other anymore. Indeed, the truth can set us free and regardless of everything, I'm actually happy that I can spend the rest of my life with the most comprehensible, good-hearted and astonishingly beautiful woman that I have ever met." At saying those words, Arthur directed his smiling face to Gwen, she mirrored his smile and the two shared a small brief kiss. They were really the definition of "_in love_".

"There is just one thing that is making me suspicious. Father's reaction lacked an enormous amount of harsh words, rage and bickering that was expected. He gave in too fast." Arthur spoke and frowned.

"The reason behind it was a long conversation that I had with him previously. Knowing Uther and you very well, I knew that he would do something harsh as imprisoning you or threaten Gwen of execution if I didn't intervene and, obviously, nor I or you would let such things happen. So I simple told him that if he acted in a ruthless manner you would hate him forever and he could also count me in. Apparently, that worked, both of you are in one piece and moving."

"Then I guess that we own you another 'Thank you' for that." This time Gwen was the one speaking.

"I just did what any of you would do for me in such situation. I know you would do anything for me." Morgana said with a reassuring smile to them. Nevertheless, she saw their expression briefly change to one of guilt, which vanished as fast as it appeared. They were both smiling again as they voiced their farewells.

"Alas, this is where we part. I'll miss you, Morgana, you're like the sister that I never had." Listening to his words, she felt another sharp ache in her heart. How could he be such a prat? Striking her with the truth when he is painfully unaware of it. "But do not fret, one day we'll come back as king and queen. In that day, Camelot will be everything that we hope of it; it'll be our own piece of paradise on this earth." Arthur said smiling to her.

Putting her hands in their cheeks, Morgana told them, as if whispering: "And I'll miss you". She looked at her former servant as she spoke: "Gwen, you know that I adore you with all my heart and that will never change.". Turning to face her brother, she continued: "And you, Arthur, I … don't exactly dislike you … only when you're being an arrogant, haughty, overbearing …" She was speaking with a wicked smile forming on her face, only to be interrupted by her brother. "Yes, I know you love me, the flattery isn't really necessary" he said.

"Okay, then I guess … this is goodbye. Oh, don't forget to send me news wherever you are, telling me everything!" She gave them her best impersonation of her once genuine smile. Well, in reality she was indeed joyful; she was getting her father's recognition as sole heir to the throne shortly, and her biggest threat to it was basically eloping with her meddlesome maidservant, probably taking someone else (a big eared bastard that shall not foil her humor in the future) with him. But seeing them so utterly in love and content for much longer would definitely ruin her good mood.

One last hug and more fake shed tears and Morgana, wait for it, Pendragon (for all of Albion to know, because she **was** a Pendragon the moment she was conceived even if that notion was distasteful for her) went back to the palace, going up the staircase that led to her king's study.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC.**

**A/N: Thank you guys for all the reviews! And the Follows and Favorites too!**

**I hope that you enjoy this update, even though it didn't quite come out as I first intended… my computer died at Wednesday, as I was writing this very chapter! So I lost that version, because I didn't have a backup, how could I? I was literally typing it when the laptop crushed! It was horrible! But now, the computer got back from the dead, yay, and here I am! Just in time to give you bad news … I'll turn into one of the walking dead until July 30th, because I have an article to write, so no updates until then. And I think my updates will be weekly. I hope that then I'll be able to write longer chapters. Enough of my babbling, here it goes**

**To larasmith, yes, I think that we can see in the show that Morgana IS torn between Morgause's ideals, consequentially her own too as she allies with her sister, and the feeling she has towards her close relationships in Camelot. Episodes 3x02, 3x10, 4x03, 4x06, 4x13 are the ones that they let the conflict show, at least in my opinion.**

** To yesthenLucky9, this chapter explain where Merlin is, I hope that you like it.**

**To vivianfangirl, mine too.**

**To yosefcoleman, I'm sorry about my answer…**

**To Stacy, thank you for the praise, it makes me happy.**

**To guest, Morgana was pregnant, it adds drama and angst! About the second comment, it is answered in this chapter.**

**And my special thanks to rumyana and voldyismyfather, for making this humble story one of your favorites.**

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**Chapter 3**

Morgana stopped in front of the king's study, knocking on the door. She waited for a few moments, but received no reply from Uther. Getting impatient, she decided to just turn the handle and entered the room. The king had his back turned to the entrance as he watched Camelot through the main window, with a sad look on his eyes.

The Lady coughed, gaining Uther's attention. He rotated his head to face her and spoke:

"Ah … Morgana … you're here. I didn't hear you coming … nonetheless, this is a good thing. I need to talk to you" he paused, turning around completely and added, forcing a weak smile to form on his lips "here you are!".

"Please, take a seat." He said, pointing at a chair in front of his working desk. She complied, being closely followed by her father, that took a seat opposed to her, so they could face each other while they talked. As they settled, Uther held both of his daughter's hands in his own, commencing his utterance.

"Morgana, these are dark times for Camelot. Arthur chose to abandon his people, his king, his duty … everything … for that common whore!" he finished his sentence clenching his teeth.

Morgana gasped, feigning indignation, and reprimanded him:

"My lord, I know that you are distraught because Arthur deserted us, but by no means that can justify such shameful words towards Gwen." She spoke seriously, continuing "What they have is true love! You've experienced it once, so you must comprehend, better than anyone, their side! And I can't let you detract Guinevere! For the last thirteen years she has been a loyal friend! When I felt upset about my nightmares, she was the one that spent countless nights by my side, comforting me. And she has always been faithful to Arthur! She doesn't deserve to be called of such names! In reality, she's one of the bravest and kindest person I have ever know." The lady told him, frowning her forehead, to make her act more believable, as if that was necessary after her reprimand towards the king. The words she said could easily have come out of her mouth two years ago, but now they were just part of the character she was playing, she reassured herself, when a twinge of doubt passed through her mind.

Offering her an ashamed look, Uther said:

"I'm … sorry, Morgana. I didn't mean to upset you. I know you were close to them, Arthur and …" he made a disgusted expression before continuing "the maid. Please, let's not argue, we have other subjects to discuss, more important ones." He paused briefly, making sure he had her full attention. Then, he said:

"I have something to tell you … nevertheless, first you have to promise me that, regardless of what I may confess, you'll remain loyal to Camelot, its people and me." He told her, gazing her with expectant eyes.

The witch let her expression be filled with confusion, even though she was smirking internally. After a few instants, she answered, almost whispering:

"My king, you are aware that I've always been dutiful to this kingdom, I'm certain that nothing can change that. But if it eases your mind, then, yes, I promise to do whatever is in my power to pursue Camelot's best interests. You have my word." She reassured him, adding to herself that it meant getting the people freed of his tyranny, bringing magic back to the realm.

Satisfied with her answer, Uther continued:

"Good. What I have to say … it isn't easy to express …" releasing a sigh, the king said, while deviating his gaze from hers, but restoring the eye contact before speaking again:

"Morgana, I'm your father."

She opened her mouth, gasping, covering her lips with her hands to increase her performance's drama, doing her best shocked expression.

He waited a few moments for her to say something, anything. Concluding that she was too much surprised to speak, he kept going:

"Gorlois was fighting in the Northern Plains … he took longer than expected to return from campaign. I was … visiting his estate … by myself …" he stopped, taking a deep breath "Your mother … she was so alone … and I … I was so frustrated that Ygraine and I couldn't conceive an heir … then your mother and I … we spent a night together … Gorlois returned right after … and your mother got pregnant …" he said, trembling his voice, avoiding her stare, until he spoke again: "The first time I saw you, you were already one year and four months old. When I looked at you, there was no denying it. I knew in my heart that you were my daughter. Your tiny nose, your chin, your eyes, your raven hair, even your temper! By God, you were so stubborn, had such a strong personality. You practically announced that you were a Pendragon with your behavior." The king said, laughing slightly, as someone remembering a found memory. After a brief pause, he kept speaking, softly: "It was Samhain back then. We were all reunited here in Camelot. There was a feast, to mourn the deceased and celebrate Ygraine's pregnancy. That happened only a month before Arthur's birth …" Uther paused, recording the heartache caused by his son, but decided to ignore it and continue: "Vivienne confessed to me that Gorlois was probably infertile, due to an accident he suffered at some point of his childhood. It did make sense, they were married for eight years prior your birth and, yet, had no other offspring. So, your mother and I swore secrecy to one another about your true parentage." Doing another dramatic pause, Uther remained speaking: "When they died … I … I couldn't bring myself to break that oath and taint the reputation of my beloved friends and wife … You must understand, Morgana … I couldn't say the truth. I was … I was preserving their memory … even if it meant that I had to lie to you daily." Uther said, pleading with his eyes for her comprehension. "Can you ever forgive me, my child?" He asked, squeezing her hands softly.

Looking between their hands and his eyes, the lady spoke with and unsure tone in her voice:

"I … don't know what to say … my whole life I thought that I … and now … I need more time to process such information …" she answered him, stammering.

At that point, Uther stood up, and wrapped her in his arms, placing her head against his stomach, kissing the top of her hair too.

"I'm aware, Morgana." He said, releasing the breath he was holding. "I'll comply to your wishes, but first…" He released a little of his hold to look her in the eyes. "There is a delicate matter we must discuss."

"I'll assembly the council today, so we can arrange the ceremony of your recognition as Crown Princess of Camelot to take place at the end of this week."

"You must go to the tailor and select a new dress. Maybe buy some jewels too."

"Yes … my lord." She replied, pretending to be uncertain. He responded her with a short lived smile and said:

"I knew I could count on you, Morgana. Now … if you want to be alone, you can go to your chambers, don't mind me. I'm certain you have a lot to think about." He told her, giving her space.

As she stood up to leave, he held her arm and said:

"Before you go, I must tell you this … there hasn't been a single day that I haven't loved you with my whole heart, Morgana. I hope that you were able to sense it, that you have felt protected and loved by me. And I understand that maybe I'm demanding too much too hastily – even though I have deceived you for such a long time – I … expect that one day … that one day you are able to call me 'father' … that you can accept me as your parent." The king spoke, holding back his tears.

She looked at him and nodded weakly, trying to simulate what would be her reaction had she discovered it when she was his lovingly ward.

Then she whispered: "Please, excuse me, my king." And swiftly exited the room. Checking for any witness and finding none, her trademark smirk commenced to form on her lips and she thought she had excellent news to her sister.

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For once in his life as servant in Camelot, Merlin wasn't late for meeting his master. In fact, his best and most annoying friend was the one delayed. Since the discovery of Arthur's and Gwen's love for one another, Merlin's daily life resumed in him running around the entire city, first to keep an eye at Gwen, to avoid any harm to come to her in case the king wanted to deal with her in the old fashion way, that is execution – not strictly following the law's procedures. Secondly, to do all the work Gaius wanted him to do before his status as the physician slave, ops, apprentice was revoked. And thirdly, he had to ready almost everything for his Royal Pratness elopement, packing all the clothing he was able to smuggle before the prince's decision was made public. Yes, he chose to follow his destiny, go with Arthur, protect him, make him King of all Albion, convince the prat to bring magic back. Only to think about everything was already tiring. More so because he knew they had to openly defy the Lady Morgana – the one and only darkness to his light, hatred to his love – in order to achieve such things. Worse, he had to persuade basically **everyone** around him that she was evil, that her only goal was to bring misery to his half of the coin and the entirety of Camelot too. Well, at least there was a bright side. He was finally freed of the constant threat that hovered over his head for the last four, and more than a half, years. That was if his "you-can-not-call-me-friend" didn't decide to take his live right after a "I-have-magic" bonding moment.

Yep, but Merlin without trouble following him wasn't exactly Merlin. He was born to live such fate, attracted it the same way a strong light attracted bugs. And at his friends delay, he could also draw a patrol's attention. How was he going to explain what he was doing, hiding behind trees, with three horses and provisions, even though his salary wasn't enough to buy a single set of horseshoes? The king had expressly warned that anyone found helping the prince would be flogged, then imprisoned and then would have a fun time at the stocks. Of course Arthur and Gwen were aware of it, and he knew that at least Gwen wouldn't risk his safety without a good reason – the dollop head wouldn't admit it, but deep down he cared too –, so the waiting was making him nervous, extremely stressed if he was being true to himself.

Then, to test the resilience of his heart, the prat prince yelled loudly: "MEEEEEEEEERRLLINN!"

The younger man jumps from his hiding place, exceedingly pallid, more than usual and looks at his friends' direction, scolding the blonde:

"Arthur! Are you insane? What if there were guards around here? Do you wish to see me dead? You know that anyone caught helping you will receive severe punishment! And another thing, what took you so long? I was almost creating roots here!" Merlin said, without taking a pause to breath.

"Well, Merlin, not that it concerns you, we were retrieving Morgana's parting gift. It was concealed, by the same reason you were here, blending so much with your surroundings, using your skinny frame to pass as a tree, that we had difficulty to find you." Arthur replied, grinning.

"Arthur, please, Merlin was worried. I'm sorry we were late, Merlin, but it was for a good cause." Gwen reassured her friend.

"Okay, fine, you are forgiven, Gwen. But not the prat. Not before he says he's sorry." The raiven haired young man answered.

"Then, Merlin, you are going to wait forever! I won't apologize, I did nothing wrong!" he said in an arrogant tone.

"Prat! Dollop head! Clot pole!" Merlin kept saying, until he was interrupted by Gwen.

"Boys, that's enough! We still have to distance ourselves from Camelot with at least a travel day before the sun sets!"

Both males dropped their heads and answered, in shame: "Okay …".

The three of them mounted their respective horse and began their journey in silence.

Nonetheless, that didn't last. Merlin curiosity, as well as justified concern for his friends' safety, compelled him to ask:

"So, can you tell me what was Morgana's gift?"

Interrupting the former prince, Gwen spoke first:

"It was Arthur's box, Merlin. Filled with gold. She had it buried, that's why we took so long, we had to dig it up." Gwen replied.

"That was it? Nothing more?" He was surprised for the lack of deadly items, that was unexpected of Morgana.

"Yes." This time, Arthur answered, while Gwen looked incredulous at the blonde.

"Okay … I'll pretend that I believe that …" Merlin said. And Arthur replied:

"Just shut up, Merlin!"

"Yes, sire, shutting up." He said with his boyish grin.

* * *

**A/N: because I couldn't deal with the angst caused by this story plot, because it'll take so much time and effort for Mergana to happen, I wrote another story in which the smut comes quickly (I penned it, then published it with my brother's computer). If you happen to stumble with it, know that the other story has even smaller chance to have a good updating pace. Sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC.**

**A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews! And the Follows and Favorites too!**

**I'm uploading faster than I said I would because I'm procrastinating my article… I have so many ideas for this fic that I just couldn't stop it I had to write! **

**Now answers to the reviews:**

**To larasmith: this chapter answer things about Morgana's intention and Arthur's, Merlin's and Gwen's destiny. Next chapter will be have super fluff Arwen moments, I hope to don't take too long to post it.**

**To Joshua: thank you, comments like that are always welcomed.**

**To Stacy: Thank you again, I hope I'm doing her character's justice.**

**To Guest: please, keep reading it, I'm sure that the next chapters will answer all those questions.**

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**Chapter 4**

**At Camelot**

Morgause waited for the guards to pass her, where she stood, hidden from their sight, and followed swiftly toward her sister's chambers. Indeed, it was a risky maneuver, but due to recent news, it was probably harder for Morgana to sneak off during the night, considering she was now Uther's remaining child. Knowing that this encounter would be long, as they would plan which ways would be used in order to snatch Camelot's throne, she couldn't afford any sort of suspicion to befall over Morgana. No, they would meet in the very castle that would soon be the home of a magical sovereign, instead of a mad, bloodthirsty, kin killer one. Therefore, she hurried her steps, reaching her destination in mere seconds, giving the door three brief knocks, in order to signalize her identity to her sister. Morgana opened the door almost immediately, rushing Morgause inside and checking the corridor to see if anyone noticed the blonde presence. Once she was certain nobody sighted her sister, the younger woman closed the door and hugged her sibling.

"Morgause!"

"Sister! I came as soon as I could. In the note, you said you had excellent news, are they the expected ones? Has Uther finally admitted your parentage?" The older woman asked.

"Yes. And there's more. Until the end of the week, I'll already be the Crown Princess of Camelot. Sole heir to the throne." Morgana replied, smirking.

"That's marvelous! The remaining obstacle between you and your throne will only be Uther himself! As predicted, he wouldn't leave his kingdom without a legitimate heir. Now, we just need to plan his demise!" Her sister exclaimed.

"Yes! The sooner, the better! I'm tired of pretending to be his lovely ward, now daughter, when all I feel towards him is hate! He must die at once! Camelot needs to be freed of his terror reign!" Morgana said, gritting her teeth.

"Have patience, sister. It is not only Uther that avoids the restoration of magic. For twenty-five years, the common folk has been taught to fear it, despise it, hunt it and harm anyone that has the gift. Even before the purge, many had prejudice against magic. Don't you think it's strange that five kingdoms have abolished it, even though only the King of Camelot had an apparent reason to claim that magic was evil?" seeing her sister's obviously distressed and impatient expression, Morgause continued "The answer to that question, Morgana, is that magic, due to its dark practitioners, has attained a bad image. It has been feared for a long time, prior to Uther's unjust crusade." The dark-haired woman was furrowing her eyebrows and frowning, almost arguing against her sister's affirmation, but decided to remain silent. So, Morgause kept talking:

"Morgana, fate gave us an unique opportunity! You became Uther's heir without the necessity of using magic, or have its usage known. That's the path the Goddess is showing us! Can't you see? We will restore magic and the Old Religion to their rightful place, but avoiding a negative view of magic in this process. Quite the opposite, when you become Queen, your reign will exhibit, majorly, the benefits of the gift, its utilization will strengthen the image of magic as something good, that can help people, save them, instead of bringing misery and despair. If we proceed in such manners, even if Arthur comes back to reclaim the throne, he won't have support, from neither the people nor nobility. You'll be everyone's savior, the beloved Queen, the representation of the Goddess herself, watching over them, protecting them, keeping them fed and safe."

"Morgause … I'm not sure about the part that everybody will accept magic back with arms wide open … you said it yourself, people fear it, even before Uther, and the most of the nobility share Uther's view." The younger woman spoke, raising her brows, as if questioning her elder reasoning.

"That's why I said we are going to keep the usage of magic a secret for a while. Uther's demise won't be immediate, before his fall, we must get rid of his supporters. All the nobles that truly agree with him shall lose their position or be convinced of our standpoint, not necessarily by non-invasive ways." The blonde-haired woman answered, while smiling in a devilish way.

"So … how are we going to do this? And what about Uther? How long do we have to wait for his death?" Morgana asked.

"All in its due time, sister." Morgause replied, placing her hand on her sibling cheek and tenderly caressing her. Then, she added: "Next week you'll have access to Camelot's vault. You'll be the keeper of its key. I'm sure that there are many magical artifacts that will prove useful. You've been here for longer, you must know of one that can be used to hide one's true identity, right?"

"Yes, I remember of one, that is a new acquaintance. Blood crystals, I think that's the name." Morgana said.

"Blood crystals? Sister, that's excellent! A single drop of blood from the subject and one can take her or his frame, clothing and voice! That's the perfect disguise! You must bring them to me, as soon as possible!" Morgause told her.

"Right, I'll do it when I gain access to the vaults. But what do we do about Uther?" Morgana was getting eager for a definitive response from her sister.

"As I told you, his death cannot be caused by magic, at least that's what everyone must believe. With the blood crystal we can even make something better than that. We won't leave traces that we will be the ones provoking his final days on this earth. And that must happen by "non-magical" means." The blond-haired woman told her.

"Hum … and I think we have the perfect opportunity just ahead of us. In one and a half month from now, a tournament will take place in Camelot. One without rules, so the knight code is invalid to the competitors, and its entrance is open, anyone can participate, well, as long as they pay the fee." Morgana said. Morgause grabbed her face with her hands and placed a kiss in her forehead, speaking:

"Sister, you're absolutely right! That's a great chance, we cannot miss it! Didn't I tell you, the Goddess is giving us, Her loyal followers, the means to fulfill Her wishes! We just have to incite a competitor dumb enough to kill the King during the tournament! Oh, and you have to convince him to fight!"

"Consider it done, sister." The dark-haired woman replied.

"Good, I knew I could count on you." Morgause said. "Now, I must hurry and flee this place before my presence is noticed." And then kissed Morgana on her left cheek.

"See you soon, sister. I'll check if it's safe to roam through the corridors." The younger woman opened the door, searching for any sentinels, founding none. She mentally told herself that improving the castle security should be a top priority in her reign. Nodding to Morgause, the blonde left the chambers, disappearing from sight in silent steps in few instants. Tired from the events of the day, Morgana went to her bed. Sleep caught her not much time after that. She had a dreamless night, thankful to her sister's amulet, the one that belonged to their mother.

* * *

**In a road, towards southwest.**

They were going to a port. That was all Merlin knew. A tiny bit of information that he could gather from Arthur's incessant grumble. Why was his friend such a prat? Why couldn't he just answer a simple question, like normal people would? But no, no. He had to make everything harder for him, and include Gwen in his humorless jokes. Damn Pendragons and their twisted sense of humor, as if making others suffer constantly was a funny thing. Well, it was, as long as he wasn't the reason they were laughing or else it included a painful or humiliating or another dreadful thing that he had to suffer. And those weren't the reasons he was distressed. No, he knew that Morgana was plotting something, he just wasn't sure of what was it. And Prince Prat wasn't giving a clue about "the other thing" that came with the clot pole's box. For all he knew, by this same time tomorrow, they could all be dead, killed by a mysterious magical thingy sent by the heartless witch to eliminate her brother, her former best friend and himself. He had to try again, so he said:

"Arthur, where are we going? Please, answer me, is not just curiosity, I must be sure that wherever we're going, I'll be able to send notice to my mother. During our last days in Camelot, I barely had time to breath, so I didn't write her anything about our situation." Merlin played the emotional card against his friend, letting his tiredness show in his voice.

"I already told you, Merlin, we're going to a port city, called Caer Didi, in Gawant." The blonde answered.

"Yes, but will we stay there for a while? Or will we go somewhere else? From what I understand, we can take a ship to anywhere from there, right?." Merlin questioned him.

"Really, Merlin, if you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have guessed!" The former prince said, with sarcasm.

"Hey, I'm her only son, I have to tell her at least a place to send her letters to. And explain where we are going too." Merlin decided to give a short answer, he was nervous, he didn't like that they could be going somewhere really far away from Camelot and their destinies. He knew that bad things happened when they tried to run away from it. Gwen, always the good soul, spared him from an anxious await, answering:

"We're taking a boat. We're travelling to Gallia, Merlin, but we can't answer precisely where. When we get there, we'll figure out." She said, elbowing his arm lightly. "It's our own adventure! Without time to return, nor rules". She completed.

Oh, no! Morgana was sending them to another country, with an entire ocean and a pack of Saxons between them and Camelot! That little evil witch! He had to convince them not to go, otherwise the kingdom would be completely defenseless against Morgana's wickedness! He told himself not to panic, to remains calm and make them see reason, that something could happen to Uther – well, **it's going to happen**, his death is imminent now – and then Camelot could need his rightful king. Yep, he was using the duty card, as much as he hated it.

"But, Gwen, Arthur, that's too far away from Camelot! What if something happens to your father?" at that phrase, Arthur glared at him, Merlin thought that if it were Morgana, he would be burning right now. He decided to ignore it and continued: "I mean your people will need you! You can't just leave them, ruled by their own luck!" he exclaimed.

"Merlin, stop. If anything happens, they will still have Morgana. She's almost royalty too, she's like a sister to me, I'm sure she'll manage while we are gone." Arthur said. Merlin though how ironic his answer was, he was indeed right, if only he **did** know the truth.

"But it's not the same thing, she could only be a regent. And she is a woman – no offense, Gwen – it's harder for the other nobles to accept her. And there's more, the other kingdoms might think that Camelot is weak without his Prince and attack, especially Essetir. Uther got sick for five days and they were already invading!" he tried to make his prat friend agree.

"Enough, Merlin! My whole life people have been telling me **what** to do. For the first time ever I can decide what I truly want, I don't have to live to fulfill other's expectations. Can you understand that? I'm finally free! I can chase my heart's desire! I don't think that I'm being unreasonable to do so. I won't do it forever, eventually we're going back home, but until then, I want to enjoy my life, have adventures, travel to different places, without a definite amount of time to return." The blonde man replied.

"But, Arthur, what about the people …" He keep trying.

"I already told you, they have Morgana. She would never let any kind of harm befall over Camelot. You can rest assured. Seriously, what do you expect, that we come back to find the kingdom on fire?" He joked.

Merlin decided he couldn't convince his friend. Even Gwen was on the prat's side, she was smiling and agreeing with the nonsense that came from his mouth. It could only be one explanation: love. It blinded people, decreased their wits, and could make a babbling idiot became some sort of prince charming in the eyes of the person in love. It was a bad thing, making him remember of lost loved ones. However, the worst was how right and wrong, at the same time, Arthur could be about Morgana. Yes, she would take care of things, but not the way that both of his friends expected. **She** would be the one making Camelot burn, and he would have to clean her mess and his friends' broken hearts.

He looked again to his best friends. They were so happy. Merlin frowned. He couldn't do this now, he couldn't ruin such precious, and possibly rare in the near future, moment with his worries about destiny and fate. No, he would let them enjoy their love, their escape from duty for a while. He would follow them to Gallia and protect them. They would eventually return and face the consequences. Nonetheless, he, Arthur and Gwen had something that Morgana didn't, they had fate by their side, they would succeed and Arthur would be the Once and Future King, restore magic and unite all of Albion.

* * *

**A/N: Next, the events of episode 3x11 without our beloved Merlin! And Arthur's and Gwen's marriage. Also, other revelations!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC.**

**A/N: This chapter has a violent part, you are warned.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**At Camelot**

**Five days after Arthur's departure.**

All of Camelot's nobility was assembled at the palace main hall as the celebration of Uther's firstborn – that was early legitimized during an announcement publicly made by the king at the castle's courtyard – nomination as Crown Princess of Camelot took place. She had to pledge her loyalty to her father as her king, and assume the duty of protection over the realm.

Morgana was kneeled, facing the king. She was wearing a brand new red dress, as the Pendragon's color. The garment had long sleeves, covering her cleavage. It also had extra cloth around her neck, so she had a high collar. She was also wearing long earrings, necklaces and many rings. Her make-up was impeccable, her lips were painted ruby red, she had black eyeliner contouring her eyes and her silky hair was loose, her curls were faultless. She was astonishingly beautiful and many of the guests were breathless when she walked in.

"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominions according to the statutes, costumes and laws established by your forebears?" Uther spoke.

"I do, sire." Morgana replied.

"Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgments?"

"I do, my lord."

"And do you swear allegiance to Camelot now and for as long as you shall live?" He said, lowering the scepter in his hand, so that it would be at her chin level. She grabbed it and told them loudly, so that all presents could hear.

"I, Morgana Pendragon, do pledge life and limb to your services, and to the protection of this kingdom and its peoples."

Satisfied, the king tilted his body to grip a silver circlet placed on top of a pillow, turning again in order to be in front of his daughter.

"Now, being of age and heir apparent, from henceforth you shall be crowned Princess of Camelot." Uther placed the circlet on top of Morgana's head, and the crowd applauded, while she turned and lifted her chin, assuming a pompous air. Then she directed to her surroundings her best pretense of a sweet smile, later spinning to face the king again and hugging him.

He reciprocated her affectionate gesture, letting a single tear slip through one eye. When they parted, he kissed her forehead and told her:

"I'm really proud of you now, my child."

Morgana pretended to be moved by his actions and words, and smiled again at him, later she moved to his side and placed her arm around his own. Uther led them to their respective places at the table, clapped his hands to gather people's attention and announced:

"Let the feast begin!"

Immediately, the musicians started to play their tunes, and the sound of chatters could be heard at the hall.

King and Princess seated in their chairs, Morgana's place was now at Uther's right, where Arthur used to sit. Most of the time they were chit-chatting with the guests, drinking wine, eating and making small talk between themselves, when, after a while and a high amount of alcohol, Uther told her:

"Morgana, I have another thing to confess to you." He said in a groggy tone of voice.

"Yes, my king?" She answered, sounding surprised.

"You were always my favorite child. I have always loved you more than that ungrateful son. You were always stronger, better in everything, whereas Arthur was always a crybaby, a weakling." He told her, speaking with such disgust that was showing the bitterness of his heart towards his son and his decisions. Changing his expression, the king laughed a bit, continuing "And every single time, you would beat him, no matter what was the subject of your disputes. I remember that when you used to play, you'd fight to be the knight that rescued the maiden, and the villain was the loser. As you wouldn't accept to be the damsel in distress, the two of you'd choose a random servant for that, right? The funniest part was that most of the times, you'd be the knight." He smiled. "I guess you won more often because you didn't give up quickly, you'd fight until you couldn't move anymore, you had a passion that Arthur didn't. And that's why I always preferred you, because you were more similar to me, with your strong will. That and the fact that you were always smarter than him." He laughed again. "He always fell victim to your pranks, whereas you were much harder to deceive, ha, ha." At that moment, he smiles to himself, remembering other times, when things were easier and his children listened to him more often, or so he believed.

"The truth is that you were, by far, the best suited to be the heir. You could make the hard decisions and I'm not sure if Arthur could, in fact, it's the opposite, he proved me that he couldn't. He deserted his entire kingdom and family for a common woman. He was so egoistical …" at that instant, Morgana grabbed his right hand between her own, squeezing softly, and spoke:

"Please, my lord, do not speak ill of Arthur. He is my brother, he made his choices, but that didn't make me stop loving him. And I know that you still love him too and talking that way about him upsets you. It is a too recent wound, I don't want to see you distressed, I think that it would be better for you not to bring the subject now, while you are still hurting so much about his decision." His daughter said, trying to soothe him.

Placing his other hand on her cheek and stroking her face, he said:

"Yes, once more you are right, Morgana. It pains me to discuss him, I feel so … betrayed. It could only be worse if he had learned magic …"

_Oh, the irony_. Morgana thought.

"But, in part, I'm also glad that you are my sole heir now, that you will succeed me as Camelot's Monarch. You are so thoughtful, so strong, so valorous, and more, much more. Yes, we had our disagreements in the past, however you have matured, you will be an excellent Queen, my child. You are everything that I have hoped for, my daughter. I love you so much." He told her, with his eyes filled with tears.

For a brief period, she was touched by his words, but that swiftly vanished as she reminded that, only a short moment ago, he was saying that the worst kind of betrayal was having magic. She knew he was a manipulative scoundrel, that all his sweet words were just him ensuring that he would be safe and sound, with an heir and everything that it implies, and not left alone, without no one in this world.

If only he knew … his perfect little princess was exactly the thing that he hated the most. She would be the very cause of his demise and would end his tyranny, restoring magic and the Old Religion. Her only regret was that he wouldn't be alive to see it and he would never be aware of how much she hated him. She had to play the part of his loving daughter until the very last minute, not for him, but to gain utter support from both the people and the nobility. Seriously, Morgause's plan was draining her forces, it was so hard to keep pretending and not even being allowed to smirk once in a while, because her sister told her that she was doing it too often and people could be suspicious. It was tough, especially because she also couldn't be part of scheming. Even though she had delivered the damn blood crystals to her sibling, the High Priestess wouldn't share any information, saying that it was better, that they couldn't afford to be caught after everything they had already achieved, and that it would make her reactions when Uther died more credible, because, indeed, she would be surprised with how that would happen. The only thing that she did know for sure is that her "father" was bound to leave this world for good in a month and ten days, at the no rules tournament.

Recording that she was still in a conversation, Morgana replied:

"And I love you … father" She said that word sounding unsure. The king probably gave her the first true smile in those last two weeks. The corners of his mouth almost reached his ears, and he said:

"Oh, Morgana, you don't know how you saying this makes me happy." He looked at her eyes with a tender gaze, then held one of her hands and kissed her knuckles.

"Then, I'm glad too, father, that I could be of help in this difficult times." She told him.

"Oh, my daughter, you can't even begin to imagine how much happiness you bring me."

She smiled at him, nodding her head. Uther wouldn't see it coming, that made **her** happy.

* * *

**Somewhere in the kingdom of Camelot**

**Fifteen days since the prince's banishment**

Morgause was disguised as a common servant at Lord Cignus' estate. She was aware that nobody paid attention to servants anyway and it was usual for them to wake up their masters, sometimes before dawn. So she had the perfect excuse to be at Lord Cignus' bedchamber during his sleep. She needed him to be unconscious to enchant him, in order to have his support when Morgana lifted the magic ban. Camelot's nobility would follow their Queen's decision without a second thought, even if it means that they couldn't have another thought. In fact, the spell was more like a suggestion that worked better in weaker minded people, like this lord in particular.

She was overworking herself to ensure that her sister could remain fully in charge of the realm – not exactly, she would never deny Morgause's pleads –, without anyone defying her rule, as her younger sibling assured her that the former prince wouldn't know about what was happening in Camelot in a long, long time. After that, if their plan went smoothly, even if he returned and claimed that he was the rightful ruler, by the time he would be back in the kingdom, all of the subject's hearts would be won by Morgana and he would be left with no one supporting him, unable to do any harm to her reign.

For all of it to come true, she had to work hard now, conquering lord by lord, planning all uses of magic that could gather their undying loyalty and allegiance. Morgana would claim the people's heart forever, and Morgause was sure that nobody would be able to change that later on.

* * *

**At Camelot**

**A month and a half since Arthur, Gwen and Merlin left the kingdom**

The people of Camelot was gathered to watch the tournament that had no rules, in which anyone could enter and that happened at every ten years, it has been this way for the last three hundred years. The clatter of the presents was almost deafening, everyone was talking about how the king, even though he was already advanced in years, would be competing as a regular.

The contenders where mustered in a line at the center of the arena, awaiting for the opening. The king was definitely amongst them, which only caused the murmurs to increase.

At the sound of trumpets, the entrance of the Princess Morgana was announced. The crowd stood up and clapped, while the competitors made silence and remained stoic. She was wearing a white gown and her hair was fastened in an ornate bun. She moved behind the stands, positioning herself in front of the main chair, standing proudly and commencing her speech:

"It's my pleasure to welcome you all to Camelot. This is a contest like no other. It's open to all comers, including our current champion, the King. There are no rules. No weapons are banned. The last man standing takes the prize." The Lady Morgana spoke, pausing after.

"Let the tournament begin!" As she said that, the audience cheered.

The first fight was won by the king, even though his daughter was hoping that he was defeated or killed. She was slightly disappointed, but keep her façade.

In the second fight, a thuggish looking man – that was indeed a thug – was the victor, although he was booed for his dirty fighting style.

During the last fight of the day, an unexpected result occurred. A skinny and really young-looking competitor won the match, even though his opponent was stronger, better with his weapons, well, that outcome was kind of impossible. Especially since there was something odd with the way the stronger man's weapon was stuck in the barrels surrounding the arena.

A guard approached the princess and whispered in her ear:

"It is me, sister. That boy used magic to defeat his opponent. I could clearly notice it. We cannot let him progress any further or else he might be a finalist, killing the king with his gifts and strengthening magic's prejudice and fear." A disguised Morgause said.

"We must avoid such disastrous event at any cost. And this … had given me an idea. I'll arrange a meeting between you and him. You'll reassure him that magic will be restored to Camelot soon, and ask him to spread the news to other magic users, so that we can assemble them and gain their trust and love. If you do this personally, they'll believe that everyone is important to you and will easily side with us. As you are a Pendragon, I think that many magic wielders will be suspicious of you in the beginning. And we need all we can gather, because I'm sure many other rulers will use the lift of that insane law as an excuse to conquer Camelot. Now, you must nod, to keep appearances. Meet me in the palace's spare room near the library in about half an hour."

Morgana nodded, as her sister told her to do. Half an hour later, she was at their meeting place, knocking on the door. When she heard her sister's voice, she entered the chamber.

Morgause was standing by the competitor's, a boy, side, already in her true form. The princess was glad that she could finally see her sister face again, after all this time in which they only communicated by written messages that were immediately burned after read. Her sister pointed her hand at Morgana and said to the young man:

"See, Gilli, the Crown Princess herself came. You have nothing to fear. She has magic too." And tilted her head up so that her younger sibling would act, reinforcing her words.

Realizing Morgause's intentions, the princess whispered "**Forbærne**" and a flame appeared in her right hand palm.

Gilli stared at her with wide eyes, as if she had grew another head. Seeing his reaction, Morgana smiled genuinely, something that she hadn't done in a long time. She then told him:

"Gilli, Uther's reign of fear is coming to its end. I'll bring magic back to all of Camelot, to all of Albion if that is necessary in order to guarantee that all magical folk can simple live their lives in peace, without being afraid of death only because of how they were born. No, I'll make sure that no one else has to suffer such fate in this realm, has to hide who they are every single day, and sometimes believe, wrongly, that they are monsters." She paused, making sure that she had his full attention, and continued: "For that to happen, we must ensure that all the negative image assigned to magic disappears. To do so, Uther's death must occur without any suspicion that magic was involved. I understand that you are a brave young man, trying to prove yourself and do what is right, I know how that feels, better than anyone. And I can guarantee to you, **I'll lift the ban, we will be free to be ourselves**." She reached him and said the last sentence while holding his hands. Morgana was sure that he was mesmerized, she didn't know if it was by her beauty, her words or her gifts, maybe all of them together, but she was certain that she had gained his trust.

"Can I count on you to help me and my cause?" She asked, keeping eye contact.

He stammered before replying: "Yes, your Highness. I'll do anything."

"Good. I need you to withdrawn from the tournament. And there's more, in three days, Camelot will get rid of Uther. Only after his demise, you are going to spread the word that Camelot's Queen has magic, that the lift of the ban isn't a trick to slaughter all magic wielders, that it is safe to seek assistance and a refugee here, in the citadel. All that wish to came here and assist me in this task are welcomed. That invitation is valid to you too." She smiled to him and could almost see the adoration in his eyes. Goddess, young men were so susceptible to her suggestions – well, most of them, except for an annoying big-eared servant that she wouldn't see anymore, if she was lucky –, it wasn't even fun to play them. She was still holding his hands, so she squeezed them and then released him.

Morgana said: "You must go, Gilli, I'm trusting you."

"May the Goddess guide your path, young warlock." Morgause spoke, patting him in the back. He bowed to them and left the room, checking to see if there was a passer in the corridors.

When he closed the door, Morgana embraced Morgause, keeping her tight grip for a while, before distancing herself and talking to her elder sibling.

"Morgause, I missed you! Please, tell me that you have everything ready for that wicked man's end." She said, impatiently.

"You must remain composed, sister. It is of the utmost importance that you keep your façade. We are so close now, you just have to be more patient. Two more days, that's all it takes for the final match to take place." The blond-haired told her, stroking her cheek.

"Fine, sister. It's just … We are so close … I can almost taste victory, I'm anxious for our triumph." The princess replied.

"And we will succeed. That is the Goddess will. I'll ensure that a participant who is dumb enough to kill the king shall keep winning and can have a match with him."

"Marvelous. And then, I'll finally be Queen." Morgana stated.

"Yes, sister, and we will achieve our goals. Restore the Old Religion and magic." The elder sibling affirmed. And continued "You must go now, the king may have noticed your absence, we cannot risk anything now. I'll remain close to you, changing my disguise from time to time." She said that and placed a kiss on her younger sister cheek. Then she put her necklace back, turning into a nameless guard again.

Nodding, Morgana left the room, going to meet her "father". The guard (Morgause) waited some minutes in order to go away, not to arise false rumors about the princess's virtue. She had to collect new blood for her other crystal and pretend to be a drunken peasant that dared the contestants to strike down the king, only for "fun". At least the joy that would come from the king's death would be true, whereas everything else would be a lie, and the best of it, untraceable to her and Morgana.

**Last day of the tournament, final match**

The king was evading a blow from his opponent, the thuggish looking man that fought dirty. Morgana was gripping her chair tightly, damaging it slightly where her nails sunk in the wood. That was it, Uther would die today, there was no going back now.

See sensed Morgause's magic being released, the king tripped, the High Priestess' spell was helped by a convenient kick below the knees, received by the king, making his balance loss more veritable.

The thug took that opportunity and stuck his double axe's blade right at the king's chest.

The entire audience went silent. Many weren't believing, couldn't believe that such a thing was happening, that their king was dead.

Morgana's mind went completely blank. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she felt his pain. Acting on impulse, she jumped the fence separating the host, knights and guards from the contenders and quickly reached the place where her father stood, lying on the ground. She held him in her arms, his blood staining her white gown. She looked at his eyes, they were empty, expressionless, blank. She realized why. It was because life had left him, she was holding only a void shell of her father. She wasn't aware of it, but she was crying intensely by then, her tears were wetting the metal of his chainmail. Only when she finally comprehended that he was gone, that her last living parent was dead, she accepted that she was indeed weeping openly due to his loss. She nor her magic could deny it, the ground trembled a little when she mourned. As her head was down, nobody could see her yellow eyes, not that the notion of hiding her magic crossed her mind at that moment.

After the shock passed, well, at least when she regained a little of her senses, she gritted her teeth, lifted her head to stare at the thug – that achieved something that many tried, but never succeeded – and, letting her anger show in her face, shouted:

"Arrest him! Arrest the king slayer!"

Suddenly, as if released from an enchantment, the guards and knights finally moved and encircled the tournament's winner. He was unarmed, as his only weapon was still stuck on the former king's body. He was subdued by Camelot's men and pierced through their weapons, as some of them were unable to contain their rage.

* * *

**At Caern Didi.**

**Three days after Arthur's and Gwen's banishment**

They were reunited in a little temple. Arthur and Gwen were looking at each other, basically mesmerized by their respective views. Watching them warmed Merlin's heart. He could testify that if such a thing called love was something real and didn't ended up hurting one of persons involved, them Arthur and Gwen were the proof that it was indeed possible. They looked utterly happy, with their uncontained smiles, even at the moments that had to remain serious. Being contaminated by their joy, Merlin himself was grinning goofily.

At the center of the temple, the priest that was in front of the couple, behind an altar, said:

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient rite of hand fastening. The union of Arthur Pendragon and Guinevere Leondegrance." He made a dramatic pause and continued:

"Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?"

"Yes." The former prince answered smiling.

"Is it your wish, Guinevere, to become one with this man?"

"Yes!" she replied, giggling and having trouble to stop smiling.

"Any say nay?" the priest asked. Everybody remained silent, but Arthur, Gwen and Merlin looked worriedly at their surroundings, as if not truly believing that everything was alright. As nothing happened, the priest proceed:

"As we gather here today, we're all witness of their union."

"With this garland, I do tie a knot and by doing so, I bind your hands and your hearts through all eternity."

"I, Arthur Pendragon, shall not seek to change thee in any way, I shall respect thee and respect myself."

"I, Guinevere Leondegrance, shall not seek to change thee in any way, I shall respect thee and respect myself."

The priest continued his speech, until he spoke the final words:

"I now pronounce you to be husband and wife."

They kissed sweetly, then Arthur grabbed Gwen by the waist, lifted her and spun both of them while their lips were still touching. The couple was giggling by the end of their kiss, and gazing at one another with such love in their expressions, that all people gathered at the temple couldn't help but smile too.

_Finally!_ Merlin thought. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so lighthearted.

They left the temple and went for an inn nearby. They celebrated Arthur's and Gwen's union there, in a really simple manner, that didn't take the brilliancy of that day for them, because that was definitely the best day of their lives. The couple had rented the best room there, using Arthur's gold. Merlin knew they would want, in fact need, some privacy, so he excused himself and went after messengers to deliver his letters to his mother and Gaius, as well as Arthur's and Guinevere's respective messages to their loved ones.

Well, the following day they had a ship to catch.

* * *

**A/N: this chapter took a lot of time for me to finish it. Hope that you have enjoyed it.**

**Now I have suggestions of soundtracks for some moments, I think that I'll do that again, and more often.**

**Morgana's interactions with Uther – Because of you by Kelly Clarkson.**

**Arthur's and Gwen's marriage (or hand-fastening) – Exato Momento by Zé Ricardo (the song title means exact moment. There is a translation at www dot letras dot com dot br /#!ze-ricardo / exato-momento / traducao-ingles)**

**Every time Morgana refers to Uther as her "father", it is because she can't accept him as her parent by blood. To her, Gorlois is her true father, not Uther.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, it belongs to BBC.**

**A/N: Thank you, guys, for the reviews, follows and favorites. I didn't reply to any review last chapter and later on, reading it again, I found a lot of mistakes, including one in my own author's notes, and for that I'm sorry. That chapter was longer and I wanted to post it immediately, as the day was ending and we were almost in August. So, now that there's another month already, here comes another and with replies to reviews!**

**To larasmith, first, thank you for reviewing every chapter. You have so many questions! I'm afraid not all of them will be answered on this chapter, but some (or one) will. To know more, please keep accompanying this fic. **

**To stacy, also thank you for keeping track of my story and reviewing it. As for your thought about Uther, you're probably right. About your question concerning Merlin and Morgana, I think that some may have already noticed that the main character in this fanfic is Morgana herself. So … yeah, that's all for now.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Camelot**

**One day after Uther's death**

Morgana was kneeled before the throne, with Geoffrey of Monmouth by her side, with the crown in his hands. The throne room was filled with people, Camelot's nobles and commoners alike. She was wearing another red dress, also wearing an equally crimson cape bearing the Pendragon's crest. Geoffrey commenced the ceremonial vows:

"Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the peoples of Camelot according to their respective laws and costumes?"

"I solemnly swear to do so." She answered.

"Will you to your power cause law and justice, in mercy, to be executed in all your judgments?"

"I will." She replied.

"Then by the sacred law vested in me, I crown you Morgana, Queen of Camelot!"

The man placed the crowd at her hair. She stood up and turned to face her subordinates. Geoffrey said:

"Long live the Queen!"

Soon after, the crowd repeated it, cheering:

"Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!"

Morgana smiled, but it didn't last long on her lips. She thought that once she was crowned Queen of Camelot she would be happier, but instead, having the rule of the kingdom wasn't so fulfilling as her sister had promised her. She wasn't exactly sad about Uther's death, that's what she believed in, at the same time, she wasn't quite happy either. She didn't know exactly how she was truly feeling about all, so she keep telling herself that it was just her brain taking time to process their victory, magic's and the Old Religion's triumph alike. She just had to talk to Morgause, her sister would know what to say, she always did. With all the chaos subsequent to Uther's death, they hadn't an opportunity to meet, and plan their next course of action. Surely, this would change tonight. Until them, her people would have to deal with her sour face, and perhaps mood, for a while.

Afterwards, a seemly endless process of handshakes, swears of loyalties, assurance of unyielding commitment to hers and Camelot's cause took place. An high amount of nobleman, noblewoman, commoners that had some proprieties and got some kind of influence in Camelot's decision process, the servants and poor people nodding at her and cheering from a distance, basically, everyone wanted to make sure they were on her good side. It was almost torturous, she just wanted to meet her sister as fast as she could, be by her side, where she didn't feel vulnerable.

Gaius, seeing her distressed face and taking it as mourn over her deceased father, excused the Queen from the gathering crowd and led her to her private chambers. His actions were not much different from the times he did so because she couldn't sleep, assaulted by her nightmares, and he was the only one capable of comforting her somehow, so she would run to the physician's quarters.. Later on, he would conduct her back to the bedroom, placing her back into bed and kissing her in the forehead before he left.

Only this time, he wouldn't be the one reassuring her, but she was grateful anyway, only a little, because she knew he had lied to her about her magic, well, he was the only one that could have healed her head concussion, right? So that meant he had magic too, he could have helped her, but, instead, decided to leave her in the dark. And the worst part, had probably be poisoned against her by Merlin, always the annoying lad, always making clear that he could only see her as evil, as bad, as unworthy, even though she was just fighting for the right thing, and damning the consequences, well, not exactly with this new "let's conquer their hearts" speech sustained by Morgause.

When they finally reached her bedchambers, she spoke:

"Thank you, Gaius, for bringing me here. It was very kind of you."

"Of course, my queen. I could sense that you were distraught at the ceremony, having, again, lost a parent. And most of the people haven't noticed your state of mind, probably too much enthusiastic about your rulership. But I don't think they did so on purpose, Uther was a good king, even if a severe one in some aspects, whereas you were always known for your benevolence and righteousness, so it's only natural that they expect you to grant more privileges than the former king." He told her, directing her a small smile, the way he used to when he comforted her as a child, saying, in fact lying right on her face, that her nightmares were only dreams.

She nodded in an affirmative way, and said:

"Yes, I understand. However, I also need some time to myself. There's just … a lot happening right now. People expect so much of me and … I don't know if I can be up to their expectations." She told him, with an unsure tone of voice.

He placed a hand on one of her shoulders and said:

"We all hope that you can prove yourself, Morgana. Remember to keep the promise you made today, be just and show mercy to all of your people." He replied to her, raising his eyebrows in a very Gaius' way, his advising mode on.

"Sure, I will. But now I'd like to be left alone. Gaius, can you please ask a servant to bring supper to my chambers? I'm not in the mood for idly chat with the nobles. I'm sure that they can understand, as my father passed away only yesterday and my brother no longer lives in Camelot, God only knows where he is right now." She said, not sure if she actually sounded like her old self, she was kind of off tuned in these two last days. As he nodded to her, answering her with a brief "Yes, your majesty.", she thought it was sufficient, so she waited until he left, bowing, and entered her bedchamber – still the same that she had used her entire lifetime in Camelot –, hoping to see her sister inside, ready to give her a warm embrace and reassure her that everything was going to be alright. She must have been tired, if her sister suspected of such weakness in her heart, she would be scolded instead of comforted, and she didn't want to disappoint Morgause.

When she looked at the room, searching for any sight of her sister and finding none, Morgana felt frustrated. She was sure that Morgause would meet her today, they had to plan every move they would take in order to achieve their ultimate goal, that was bringing back magic and the Old Religion. Uncertainty passed her mind at that moment. Of course her sister would have to speak with her today, but what if she thought that Morgana wasn't reliable enough to have knowledge of her schemes? What if her sister didn't fully trust her, because of all the times their plots were thwarted by the big eared, goofy looking manservant? No, she wouldn't do that, right? Right now Morgause was everything she had in this world as she was everything for her elder sister. They were on common ground and she was the Queen. Besides, Morgause hasn't given any reasons for her distrust. She was only busy, that was the reason that she didn't came to visit her more often, she was building the basis in which Morgana's reign would be risen from.

Meanwhile she was lost in her thoughts, someone knocked on her door.

_Probably is the servant, bringing dinner_. She thought, and swiftly replied:

"You may come in."

A young servant girl entered her room, holding a tray with her supper, saying "Your Majesty" and promptly closing the door as she stepped in. Then, she placed the tray on top of a table in Morgana's chamber, moving her hand to her own collarbone and retrieving a necklace from around her neck. Her form shifted on the process, revealing a very satisfied Morgause instead.

Morgana released a small cry due to her astonishment. That made her sister grin and quickly shorten the distance between them, hugging her. Then, the blond-haired woman spoke:

"Sister, you are finally Queen! I'm so proud of you! And your pretense? It was on the verge of perfection!". At that point, Morgause withdrew a little from their embrace and looked at Morgana's face, continuing: "I almost believed that you were truly heartbroken with Uther's demise. The other day on the arena, your reaction was so raw that I had shivers watching the scene!"

"Yes, you said it yourself that I had to keep the façade of the loving daughter, So I did my very best. I'm sure that nobody suspects my true allegiance." Morgana answered.

"You were very good, very good indeed." The High Priestess said, gripping the younger woman hands. She kept talking:

"And now, you should eat. We can't afford to have you sick, your health is of utmost importance for pursuing our goals. Come on, seat and have dinner, I'll update you with the current situation of our plans.". She directed Morgana to a chair, grabbing another to be seat at the table too. When they settled in their respective places, Morgause continued:

"All of Camelot's nobility is on own side, so the prospect of civil war is impossible right now, and will remain like that, as the only way to free some of the knights from the 'superiority' of our arguments is by magic, and we know that no magical-user in his right mind will be against our rule, that allows magic to roam free in this earth.". Morgana listened while eating her food, nodding to her sister, so the elder woman kept going:

"Our biggest threats are the kingdoms that have forbidden magic too, the opportunistic rulers of other kingdoms – like Cenred, Odin, Alined, Caerleon –, and the very people within Camelot that are against it, and can cause rises against your rule."

Awaiting for an affirmative answer from Morgana, to ensure she was following her line of thought, and receiving another nod as response, the High Priestess continued:

"So, in order to subjugate all those threats, we need every magical artifact that is kept inside Camelot's vault. We need to catalogue them and use the most powerful ones in our quest. In special, the Crystal of Neahtid."

Hearing about that particular artifact brought back memories to the younger woman. So, Morgana spoke:

"Once I have possessed that Crystal, but not for me. A group of dissident druids, led by a man named Alvaar asked my help to retrieve it from Uther's dominion. I helped them, as a boy that I held really dear was with them."

"Yes, you have told me that story before, remember? So you must know what uses can be given to it, at least what is common knowledge. What not everyone knows, as it isn't something divulgated openly, is that a seer can do more than just see the past, present and future on it. Due to their familiarity with the Sight, the seers can attain their level of control and knowledge, concerning magic, of their future selves, if seeing the future through the Crystal of Neahtid." Morgause told her, grinning in satisfaction.

Understanding the meaning of her words, Morgana said:

"And I have to use it in order to instantly become a fully accomplished High Priestess? That way, together we'll be the strongest magic wielders of Albion?"

Kissing her cheek, Morgause exclaimed:

"Exactly, sister! You and I will be unstoppable! Our enemies shall tremble with fear by the mention of our names! And soon, not only we will bring magic back to Camelot but to the entirety of Albion as well, because we will conquer every kingdom in this land, maybe even other realms, detached from this land!" Morgause was grinning madly, expressing all her excitement about such prospects.

"Alright, sister, we can use the crystal anytime that you want it. So, will it be tomorrow? Will you go with me, await me here, in my chambers? Or will you openly present yourself by my side, as my official counselor?" Morgana asked, eager for an answer.

"Hum … tomorrow you'll make the official announcement of magic's ban lift and also about my position in your court, as chief adviser, representative of the Old Religion and your legal heir, at least, until you have children of your own." Hearing the last sentence, Morgana flinched and tensed, feeling an uncomfortable heat in her stomach, that signalized her nervousness. Seeing her sister reaction, Morgause tried to comfort her, holding and stroking her hand, continuing her speech:

"We have already discussed this. I'm aware that you are still uncomfortable with the subject, but an heir is necessary to continue our lifetimes work, Morgana. Maybe more than one, as our future has an incredible amount of hardships ahead of us. You must face it as a duty, like many you now upheld. Not letting your emotions take over, thinking logically about it, makes things easier, trust me." The blonde-haired woman said, with a reassuring smile.

"Fine, sister. I'll do as you wish. I'll prove to you that I'm capable of attaining our main goal, by your side and supporting you, like you always did with me." Morgana replied.

"Good. Then, finish your food and go to sleep. We have an eventful day tomorrow." Morgause told her, while caressing her sister's hair, and added:

"I must leave now, the guards are probably wondering why a servant is taking so long in the queen's chambers. You still have a reputation to be good to everybody, even the servants, so I don't think that that is much unusual, but just to be sure, is better to go. You must be tired too. Goodnight, sister." Morgause said, kissing Morgana at the top of her head, much like Gaius did before.

"Goodnight too, Morgause. Where will we meet tomorrow?" The younger one asked.

"At your study, immediately before your announcement." She said, going in the direction of the door, while putting back the blood crystal around her neck.

"Fine, then … see you tomorrow." Morgause nodded in response, opening the door and leaving Morgana alone.

By herself, the young witch sighted, losing her appetite, thinking in all the things she had to do in order to please her sister and the Triple Goddess.

* * *

Gaius opened Merlin's second letter. His ward decided that, due to the circumstances, his best option was to follow Arthur, to keep him save, so that the Once and Future King could regain Camelot's throne from his evil sister, at the time the former prince discovered the truth.

Again, Merlin told him about their adventures, Arthur's and Gwen's married life, but didn't mention a reasonable address for him to send his replies. Apparently, Arthur wanted to "know the whole world" or at least the entirety of Gallia, and kept on the road, never going to the same place more than once. Therefore, none of Camelot's news were acknowledge by those three. They still thought that Arthur was Uther's only heir. Gaius sighed, frustrated that there was nothing that he could do to change this situation. Not even going after them, as it was most likely that, by the time he reached Merlin's last destination, the three of them might have already left. He could only hope that the news regarding Camelot could be heard in that foreign country. And now his duty was to keep an eye on Morgana's activities, try to make her see reason in case things got a little too extreme and she began summarily executing innocent people, as she was already corrupted by magic at this point. Gaius sighed again, if only he hadn't smuggled Morgause as a child, Morgana would still be the same good-hearted girl that he saw growing up. He would have helped her, containing her magic, so that she wouldn't fall in temptation, becoming a cold-hearted priestess of the Old Religion, following a mad Goddess that only accepted a blood stained land from her followers. For the third time Gaius sighed. He missed Merlin and his boyish manners, always getting into trouble, not being able to properly control his own limbs, bumping into things … it always lightened his heart, to think about the young warlock's goofiness. Wherever he were, Gaius hoped he would be safe and sound, and that he and Arthur could be able to prevent or terminate the evil ways that the two sisters would certainly bring to the realm.

* * *

**Camelot's Castle Courtyard**

**The following day to Queen Morgana's coronation**

People from all over the kingdom were reunited in the courtyard for the first public speech from their new Queen. There were murmurs, some talking about all the times that Uther's daughter had stood her ground against her father, even before she knew he was her father. They were all talking about her bravery, how she had guts and a good heart. Even without Arthur, their beloved prince, that mostly everyone believed would be the best king that has ever seated on Camelot's throne, they were sure that Morgana, that had grew up with their golden prince, would be just and treat the people with kindness.

She walked to the center of the balcony, wearing a white dress and her crowd on top of her head. Some people held their breaths at her sight, so beautiful, just like a benevolent goddess that had graced her worshipers with her presence. She held her right hand in order to request silence from her audience and commenced her speech:

"People of Camelot! You are gathered here because I must speak to you about the compromises I, as your Queen, assume towards each and everyone of you. During Uther's reign, my father has unjustly persecuted those that had the gift of magic, even banishing an entire segment of Camelot's population by ripping all rights from the Druids, and hunting them like animals. His reign was marked by fear, hate and the death of many innocents, magical and common folk alike, as his paranoia knew no limits, executing friends and foes equally. His blindness regarding magic has brought much grief to you, my citizens. How many fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers had lost their life or had to hide like criminals even though they had done nothing wrong? I ask to you, people of Camelot, is it a crime to be born with a magic? Not to choose to have it, not learn it and die sampling because of how you are born? Isn't it the same as killing everyone that is red-haired since they have that hair color? Under the excuse that magic was evil, that it corrupt people, as if it was always a choice, when it isn't, Uther has instilled fear, hate, suffering and misconceptions to all of you. How many of you hadn't hidden your true opinions, or worse your true selves, in fear of the unjust law? How many of you have witnessed an unfair accusation directed to your family or friends? How many of you had seen the good that magic can do, as well as the consequences of directly affronting magic users? It is so because magic itself is not good or bad, it just is. Pretty much like a sword, it can be used to harm as it can be used to protect. The only difference is the choice made by the sorcerer or by the swordsman. By decimating the magical kin, Uther has brought to himself and to you, his people, the ones he swore to protect, the wrath of many magic users. But you must understand, they were only fighting back, for their own survival, to have the right of merely existing. If he wasn't so blinded by his personal grief – yes, it was not your best interests he had in mind when he outlawed magic –, if he had a reasonable motive to practice that maniac policy, than we would let the magic users to keep their lives, exiling them instead of being a damn butcher. If he was fair and just as he had sworn to be, he would have pardoned everyone, not born with magic, that had promised to abandon its practice. But in his insane quest he told us all that magic was evil and that it corrupts, when his heart was the corrupt one! Let me tell you his real selfish reasons to commit such atrocities, a genocide that for many years will still scar Camelot's people. What caused Uther to begin the Great Purge was the death of his wife, Ygraine. She couldn't conceive him an heir, so he asked for help, magical help, from the senior High Priestess of the time, Nimueh. She warned him that in order to create a life, another was needed, that way balance would be kept in this world. She also informed him that she couldn't control which life your be sacrificed, but he didn't care, he wanted an male heir so badly that he would let anyone die just to have his wishes. When Arthur was born and Ygraine died he didn't act as a true leader, assuming the responsibilities of his own actions, no, he didn't! He blamed magic, he blamed his people, the same he had vowed to protect! He disregarded completely the previous law, by which magic was freely practiced within Camelot's borders, sinning as a king, as a husband and as a father, disregarding an unmeasurable amount of rights, laws and lives in his mad quest to feel less guilty towards his own actions. You, people of Camelot, and all the dead due to his persecution had suffered and paid the price for one man's grief, when he was the only one responsible for his choices and their consequences."

Morgana made a longer pause, giving the people time to process everything she said. Briefly, she continued:

"Today, I commit myself to all of you. I'll make amends, I'll right the wrongdoings caused by his rule. I'll restore Camelot's previous law and revoke the magic's ban, because it is a decision that lacks legitimacy. It was an insane policy established by a man blinded by grief and revenge, and it didn't withheld justice with mercy, as Camelot's monarch was supposed to do."

After another dramatic pause, she kept going:

"Also, I revoke the banishment of the Old Religion as well, allowing its free profession and practice in the entirety of Camelot! In the same act, I reestablish the position of High Priestess Advisor, appointing the last High Priestess and my sister, Morgause, to that position."

When she said that, a cloaked figured that was by her right side, near the columns, stepped closer to the Queen, putting her hood down and showing her identity as the priestess of the Old religion.

"And finally, I declare my sister as my heir to the throne of Camelot, as she is my only living relative that resides in Camelot at the present. That is all!" Morgana said, with authority in her voice.

For a moment, all that could be heard was the crowd fuss, until someone decided to clap his or her hands, showing their approval to their Queens announcement. Soon, almost everyone that was present was clapping and cheering. Some nobles were applauding with goofy smiles in their faces, probably due to Morgause's enchantments, others were doing so with admiration in their eyes. For some unknown reason, Morgana thought that they could have accepted the changes better if she had not named her sister as her heir, but that thought rapidly disappeared, being replaced by the joy that came from their acceptance and her sister's embrace. They left the balcony, going inside the castle and preparing to search the vaults that same night.

* * *

"Sister, you must relax and concentrate. Think about the future, your future. The key to succeed in this task resides in the metallization of your goal. Establish your objective and then look at the Crystal. Keep your eyes closed for now. Tell me when you're ready and I'll place it in your hands." Her elder sibling told her.

"Fine, Morgause." Morgana replied, extending her hands in front of her. After some deep breaths, Morgana said: "I'm ready".

The High Priestess put the Crystal of Neahtid in her sister's hold, making sure it was safe, and told her "Open your eyes" in a soft voice.

_Then, Morgana looked directly at the magical artifact, concentrating in her future self. Images began to form there and, as a seer, she felt she could synchronize so much with her own self that replacing herself and experiencing all physical and emotional sensation could happen. The first image to form was depicting the Isle of the Blessed at night. There was a stone altar, her sister was laying on top of it and she was standing, near her sister upper body, holding a … dagger? What? What for? She was shocked when her future self craved the weapon on her sister's heart. Then with what happened next. From the air something ripped, as if the own sky above them. From there appeared a woman that had a haunted face. "Must be the Caileach that Morgause once mentioned", she thought. The guardian approached her fallen future self, that went to the ground due to the strength of the magic. Morgana got near herself too, and for the first time, she noticed something different. Her bracelet, the one that she received as a gift from Morgause, the one that once belonged to their mother, was blackening. Not only that, it was attracting more black things that were attaching themselves to it. Then, the Caileach turned her face not to the seer's future self, but to her present one, the observing one and spoke:_

_"Morgana Pendragon. The path that you contemplate now is no longer the path you'll take. You changed everything when you chose love instead of hate, when you had power over your brother's destiny. You broke the chains of the future, changing fate itself. But you can still succumb to the temptations of power and inflict pain and misery to the land of the living if you keep wearing that bracelet of yours. It has a strong magic within it. It attracts all the suffering of those that had been persecuted for having magic, using it to fuel the justified rage towards those unfair acts, and twisting it into hate, until the point that it maddens the user, turning most of his or hers emotions into hate. It increases the desire of revenge, even if it means the complete destruction of everything that once had a meaning to the user, replacing all that was good inside of him or her for the need to avenge it. Keep looking, child and you'll see where it got you" As the Caileach said those words, Morgana felt extremely cold inside as if finally noticing that there was something else happening with her._

_The vision changed, showing the deaths caused by the enraged spirits. There were so many, so much fear. It was hard to look. It showed herself again, saying that she was happy everybody was dying. She felt sick with the future Morgana reaction or absence of empathy for those lives that her actions have reaped, so much like Uther …It scared her to think that someday she could be like him, the very man she despised with all her being. She kept observing and the image changed again. She was facing Arthur, in fact, he was confronting her. She could see the pain and betrayal in his face as he questioned her motives. Worse, she could see that her future self too was hurting with the fact that Arthur was her enemy, because he had showed her he wanted to talk, he wanted to fix things and she just dismissed him, accusing him of being just like Uther, when they both knew that he was so much different from him, such a better man. For some reason, her magic failed her, but she could still see the influence of her bracelet, contaminating her heart with more hate, with more desire for a senseless revenge. _

_Then, in her visions, everything went dark. At first she thought that her future self had died, and that explained the darkness. But she was wrong. A wail, that certainly didn't come from her, made her realize that her assumptions were wrong. She was in a prison, without any source of light. She got near what she thought that was herself and connected her sensibilities. She felt powerless, hopeless, aching everywhere, hungry, humiliated, and a swelling rage, an enormous hate towards everything, everyone, Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, everyone in Camelot. They could save her, but instead had decided to abandon her and they would pay for it. It made her sick, she wanted to throw up. The worst was she couldn't sense her magic, it was not there. The only things that apparently kept her alive where her hatred and whatever creature that kept wailing. When she thought it couldn't get worst, as she was distancing herself, she heard the sound of stone being moved, during nighttime, so there was no actual light to illuminate her and her future self missed it so much, needed it so much, but nobody gave it to her. Instead, her captors initiated and seemly endless session of torture and rape. Morgana closed her eyes and brought her hands to her ears not to hear the things that were done to her. At that moment, she was already crying, her tears flowing down her eyes in an unstoppable way._

_Then, her visions changed once more and she was in a battlefield screaming "Emrys!" and being thrown by the magic of an old man with long beard. He was her enemy she was sure. Against her better judgment, she got near her future self, while she was still unconscious, and again connected with her emotions. What she felt was a mixture of hate, blood thirst, madness and the current thought "Merlin is Emrys, Merlin is my doom, I must kill him, kill him, kill him!". It was so strong that even with her passed out, the imprint of her hate kept assaulting her heart. _

_Once again, she was shocked. There was just too much information to deal with. Merlin had magic, but since when? She didn't know and she didn't want to contemplate her distorted future mind once more._

_While she was still astonished with everything, the scene changed to one in which Merlin was piercing her with a sword, saying that he blamed himself for what she had become._

Then, those visions vanished, and she was back at her bedchambers with Morgause looking at her worriedly. She noticed that her head hurt, and her ears and nose were wet with something. With her mind still blurred, Morgana passed her fingers under her nose, just above her lips, and realized that it was blood. The crimson color made her regain some senses, so, with her bloodied hand she took Morgause's bracelet from her forearm and threw it away, with all her strength.

Morgause looked surprised with her action and also worried. So Morgana finally spoke, gritting her teeth:

"Get out." It sounded like a small growl from a wounded animal.

"What? Sister, what's the matter, what happened? You are bleeding, this was not supposed to happen –" Morgause couldn't complete her sentence because her sister screamed:

"Get out! I know what you did! Don't you dare call me your sister!" she yelled at the blonde-haired woman.

Noticing the distress in her, Morgause chose to comply. She would talk to Morgana later, she would make her sister see past her rage, she was sure of it. So she walked away from her little sister, closing the door of her bedchambers.

Meanwhile, with part of her rage released, Morgana began to weep, for all the betrayals, all the hurt, all the pain, and all her wrong choices, that never happened, but would be true if she was kept under Morgause's influence.

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**A/N: I'm thinking of doing a spin-off to tell all of Arthur's, Gwen's and Merlin's adventures abroad. As I said in the beginning of this chapter, Morgana is the main character in this story, so I'll basically tell her struggles to maintain her reign over Camelot and what will happen when Arthur comes back (he will come back, it'll only take some chapters). Also, I expect to have a kinky mergana memory in chapter 8, so please, mergana shippers, don't quit this fanfic yet. And to Arwen shippers, sorry about not having a more detailed description on their times as a couple, and not much smut either. Also, I couldn't think about a background music too… but I do! It's "Gollum's song" for all the suffering in her visions!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, it belongs to BBC.**

**A/N: To everybody that follows this story and had assumed that it is one of your favorite ones, you have my most sincere thanks! I'll give especial thanks to Riy, for everything (I'm glad that you're glad that I'm glad that you're glad).**

**To larasmith: thank you for your constant reviews, they influence me to keep writing my fic. About Morgause, yeah to a lot of things …**

**To ladygoddess8: basically Morgana has to rethink her entire choices up until now and she sees Merlin side in the story, but doesn't have enough time to process everything (there's just too much happening the moment). She is a mess, she is conflicted, doubting herself and at the same time having to take a firm posture, because shits gonna happen. **

**To Riy: thanks for the advices, I'll try to fix some mistakes when I have more time. About the dialogs, in fact monologues if you observe their length, I guess that when I write them, the characters get the mojo-jojo syndrome (see powerpuff girls for reference).**

**To Stacy: Thank you for your support. Morgause's side, at least what she tells Morgana, will be on the next chapter. **

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**Chapter 7**

**At Camelot**

**Morgana's bedchamber**

Morgana was still sobbing, she was sure she would have bloodshot eyes by now. She had trusted Morgause with her entire life. She had given her a reason to live, in fact. When the young seer had been healed from the poison and finally was awoken and aware that she had lost her unborn children, two as Morgause told her, she felt her whole world crumble. An overwhelming pain took over her, she didn't want to eat, she didn't want to sleep, hell, she didn't want to live! Back then, she felt empty, void, without a purpose. Her sister had given her one: revenge. Avenge all her suffering, that was caused by Merlin, Uther and everyone in Camelot too, because they supported that reign of fear and hate. When she discovered her pregnancy, she was left with only horrible options: flee from Camelot and have her children somewhere safe from Uther's wrath, saving Merlin's life in the process, but risking not having him by her side while raising the children, in fact, she wasn't even sure how she would raise them, she didn't know how to do that and she would need help also; or plot Uther's death, so that Arthur would be King and would certainly bless a marriage between her and Merlin, if the later accepted to marry her. Knowing that her father would probably hunt her through all the Seven Kingdoms, as he did during the druids' incident, after all he had done, she thought that the right thing to do was to get Camelot free of Uther, and be released from his oppression as well. So she didn't give much thought when Morgause asked if she was with her or with Uther. In her mind, as long as the former king died, they could be true to their heart's desire, her, Arthur, Gwen and Merlin (although she wasn't sure if he desired to share a life with her, she didn't know if he loved her, he probably didn't as he was capable of poisoning her).

At that time, when she was most confused and pained, Morgause had been her only support. She stood by her side, taught her to control her magic, taught her that there was nothing to be afraid of, that she wasn't a monster as Uther made her believe magic users were. Her sister made her feel accepted, in a way that Uther never did (maybe Arthur, Gwen and Merlin had done that once, but it wasn't enough. Her childhood friends didn't know about her magic and could treat her as if she was a stranger or an abomination and that scared her. And Merlin … she had trusted him completely, but he didn't trust her. No, he lied to her, kept her in the dark about her magic and his own. Yes, he tried to help her, leading her to the Druids, however he could make the difference, could reassure her himself, he could have taught her, but he was too much of a coward to do so. Hell, he was too much of a coward to even confront her directly in that damned day he poisoned her. It hurt her deeply, being certain that she was not worth the risk to him. The worst part was that their lies had cost them the life of their innocent children. If only she knew why, what had make him act like that?), made her feel loved, safe, with her she could be herself, she didn't have to hide anymore. Morgause was the one that had to deal with her broken self, back then. She made her see that she could do much more with her life, with her gifts than just waste away at some unknown place. She gave her hope, when Morgana didn't have anything left, except fear and unhappiness.

Now, everything seemed like a pretense, a game that her sister played, using her heart and trust, to achieve some crazy Goddess's will. Morgause always told her that everything they have done was for the Triple Goddess, that it was all her wish and, as their followers, it was their duty to pursue those wishes.

Morgana wondered if that was how her mother thought too. Her sister told her that before marrying Gorlois their mother was an initiate in the old ways, that she had the potential to be a Senior High Priestess, the closer to the Goddess. Those priestess had the task to serve as a messenger, receiving Her intentions and spreading it to the other worshippers, even acting to effectively ensure that Her demands were obeyed.

That was what her sister believed in, that everything that happened was the Goddess's desire. And, because of that belief, she was certain that they would succeed, that they would bring magic and the Old Religion back. Since she left Camelot in her sister's arms, that was what her sibling has been telling her.

Morgana too was beginning to think the same way, even though sometimes she doubted her sister's belief, not that she had ever expressed such doubts, no, that would disappoint Morgause. She didn't want that, back then her sister was everything to her, so she kept trusting her sibling's judgment, certainly she knew better than herself. Morgana felt like everything that she was told before was a lie, she couldn't trust them, those people that had never really helped her.

Except, that was not true, was it? Morgause had lied to her too. She was molding her, turning her into the very monster that she feared she would become once she discovered her magic. Her sister had betrayed her the exact same way as Merlin, if not in a worse manner. Because of something else, alien to their relationship as siblings, Morgause had reached her, had showed her a path in which she didn't have to be afraid, weak, powerless, feel like an aberrance, only to exploit her trust and manipulate her into fulfilling some crazy divinity's agenda.

Morgana moved from her bed, abandoning the position she was previously, with her knees bent, touching her face, with her back against the bed's headboard. She stopped in front of the mirror, looking at her appearance.

As most of the candles were extinguished, there wasn't much light to illuminate her face. But still, she could see that she looked like a hollow shell of her previous self. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were swollen, her nose was dripping, her expression as a whole pointed her state of mind – utter defeat.

Shaking her head, as if to clarify her thoughts, she stepped away from the mirror and went in the direction of her table. She grabbed a basin nearby – the one she generally filled with water to wash her face in the mornings she didn't bathe – and filled it, splashing its content directly into her front.

Feeling the sensation of water drops going down her cheeks, Morgana took a deep breath, opening her mouth slightly and lifting her chin. She couldn't trust Morgause anymore, she was Queen of Camelot, a lot of people depended on her, because her brother was only god knows where, and that was her fault. She made sure of that, hadn't she? She wrote him, in the letter she kept inside his small chest, that he should go on adventures like those they used to read about in books and then play together. It was a fond memory, them as kids imagining they were one of those characters, that they were free to roam the world, without a kingdom, an angry or deceased father, responsibilities and duty to withhold, just the next adventure, the next undiscovered place, the unknown friends they would make on their way.

Yes, Arthur and Gwen, her remaining friends – if she was worthy of calling them that after everything she had done to them – weren't perfect, but at least they didn't lie to her like almost everybody else did. They had made her omit the fact that she was pregnant to Merlin, that he was the father of their unborn children, but she knew that they meant well. When she discovered her pregnancy, Gwen was with her and the moment Gaius said that she was with child, her former maid run to Arthur and told him. Morgana thought that Guinevere had panicked, and that was why she went after the prince. It was because every time they were in trouble Arthur was always there to help and save them.

Of course he wanted Merlin's head, and other parts as well, but she didn't allow him. She told him that she loved Merlin, that they were both drunk when they shared a moment together, that his manservant wasn't at fault and probably, if someone seduced anyone there, then she was the one that took advantage of Merlin. After her explanation, her brother calmed down and made her promise she wouldn't tell anything to his manservant until they had figured out how to better deal with the whole situation, because it risked Merlin's life if Uther found out. She reluctantly agreed with him, it was rare for Arthur to be right about something, but she thought he was, at least back then.

And then, that fatidic day happened. Merlin poisoned her, she, Arthur, Gwen or Gaius hadn't told him she was pregnant, so she assumed he didn't know, right? If he did and even so didn't hesitate in killing her, he was certainly a stranger, someone that she refused to acknowledge and, for a moment, she was scared that he could be a monster too. Shaking her head again, to clear the confusion and doubt that filled her, she took a decision: she would look again at the Crystal of Neahtid, she had to be sure of Merlin's reasons to betray her and the true amount of influence that that devilish bracelet had over her decisions.

She took a mental note to see her face in the mirror again, in order to search and find if there was something written there, like a message saying "betray me" or something similar that she hadn't noticed before. Instead of doing that, she sat against her bed's headboard, closed her eyes, grabbed the Crystal that she had placed on top of her bed table, took another deep breath, exhaling the air through her mouth and concentrated in the past this time. When she thought she was ready, she opened her eyes, that acquired a golden hue as images began to form and she felt she was no longer inside her own body.

_She could observe that she was back to Camelot, during daylight. She was in the city main street, many people were there, filling the streets. Nobody seemed to notice her, in fact some passed through her, as if she wasn't solid anymore. In the middle of the crowd, she could notice a lanky boy with a dreamlike expression, as someone that was seeing that scene for the first time in his life and was utterly awed. He was Merlin._

_The images sped up and showed his first time meeting Gaius and the first time he was scolded for using magic openly, as well as Merlin's promise to keep it a secret. Then, it fast forwarded again, showing the boy's conversation with the Great Dragon and what the beast told him about his and Arthur's destiny. Then again, time skipped, she could only guess it because the imaged blurred, but they were at the same place only this time Merlin was wearing different clothing and had a confused expression. They were talking about the druids, Merlin was looking for them. The Dragon wasn't answering, asking what for. So Merlin said he wanted to help someone that he cared about. _

That moment Morgana thought: "so at some point he genuinely cared for me?"

_The Dragon kept talking, calling her a witch, while Merlin protested, and saying that it would be better if she never knew the true extent of her powers. _

"Whatever for?" Morgana thought.

_The Merlin in the past disagreed, defending her, saying she had a good heart._

Morgana was touched that at some point he did believe in her.

_The Dragon kept poisoning his mind against her, talking about things she didn't know, but Merlin did. Merlin shook his head and said he wouldn't abandon her._

Her heart broke again. Abandon her was exactly what he did, and he saying that was so much ironical as it was bittersweet.

_The dragon denied his request and Merlin left the beast alone._

_The image blurred again, but they remained at the same place, only the beast's position changing before Merlin spoke to him. They talked about setting the dragon free, then Merlin asked him about the Crystal of Neahtid. The dragon answered and Merlin told him that she had stolen it, back then. The beast began to laugh. _

Morgana got irritated at it, not only did it manipulated Merlin against her, it was mocking her.

_Then it continued, saying she didn't have the power to wield the crystal. Merlin told it about her helping Mordred. The Dragon said that Mordred's destiny was to kill Arthur, and saying that the ancient prophesies spoke of an alliance between herself and Mordred united in evil. It also said that Merlin had to stop it, whatever the costs._

That overly grown shady, slimy, liar lizard! He had basically told Merlin to go ahead and murder her and Mordred, that was still a child!

_The imaged blurred one last time, they were still at the Dragon's prison. The beast appeared to be sleeping. Merlin didn't believe it was asleep, and questioned it. It awoke and spoke to him, saying that Camelot would come to an end that day. They argued about the beast's release, Merlin promised for Hunith's life that he would free the Dragon and it believed Merlin. Then the beast told him about the sleeping spell, saying he had to eradicate the source of Morgause's enchantment. _

As the manservant questioned about the source of the spell and the beast answered him, she could notice Merlin's disappointment towards her and her actions. It made her uncomfortable, at that time she didn't know she was the source. Morgause hadn't explained anything to her, just asked her that bloody question. She wasn't sure if she said yes to her sister because of the bracelet or due to her feeling cornered or because she believed that Camelot would only be a better place without Uther, she guessed it was everything together.

_The Dragon kept releasing its poisonous advices, saying that Merlin had to kill her._

The way Merlin said "No" was so heartbreaking that she could feel a lump in her throat.

"You said that but you did it anyway, Merlin. You took the easiest turn, you didn't even think that I couldn't be truly aware of everything that was happening, you didn't give me the benefit of doubt, you condemned me without a trial, without defense, was I so irrelevant to you back then, that you just disposed of me as if I was an old torn shoe? Was that the moment that I ceased being your friend and became 'The Evil Witch' to you?" Morgana said aloud, even though he couldn't answer her. She was hurt, feeling betrayed once more.

Remembering that she was supposed to observe the influence of Morgause's bracelet in her mind, she mentalized her own memories.

_The images passed rapidly. Every time she shown confusion, regret or remorse, more black spots attached themselves in the bracelet. When that happened, she was involved in a layer of darkness that came from the object and it concentrated on her heart and head._

She remembered the Caileach's word: "It attracts all the suffering of those that had been persecuted for having magic, using it to fuel the justified rage towards those unfair acts, and twisting it into hate, until the point that it maddens the user.". Definitely, some of the thoughts were her own, but that they had been amplified by the bracelet's and Morgause's influence.

Morgana decided that she had seen enough already and wary of the effects that the Crystal had over her, as it caused her ears and nose to bleed, she decided to call it for a day. So she focused on returning to the present, to her body and did so. This time, when she opened her eyes and looked around, there was no bleeding.

She had many decisions to make. She had an entire kingdom to rule, by herself now. With the lift of magic's ban, other kingdoms would likely declare war against Camelot, so she had to win those wars, feed and protect her people meanwhile restore magic too, but making sure that Morgause couldn't influence those magic wielders into her fanatic belief. Also, she had to figure out what to do with Camelot's nobility. Most of them were enchanted or blackmailed or other things that she didn't know of, because her sister kept her in the dark about what she was doing, and Morgana wasn't sure if her sibling wouldn't turn them against her if she confronted Morgause. Her only reassurance was that her sister needed her – her more powerful future self in fact – in order to conquer all of Albion, and therefore wouldn't try to eliminate her saying something like "It's the Goddess wish" or "The Goddess told me it was the only way" as an excuse. The young seer knew that she had to be more powerful than Morgause to keep her throne, as her sister was namely Camelot's only heir, even if they didn't follow all the protocols to assure her position as a legitimate heir.

So, anyway, she had to accomplish her initial task and contact her veteran self to possess a high level of knowledge and control over her powers. The young queen sighed. Her head hurt, she didn't want to use the Crystal again, but maybe it was the only way.

Against her better judgment, Morgana looked into the artifact and her eyes glowed gold.

_She was in a flowery field that had a tree in the middle, an oak tree. Seated near its roots, was a woman with a long curvy white hair. She appeared to be meditating, her eyes were closed and she had a serene expression. As young Morgana approached the elder, she was filled with a calm and peaceful sensation. Not wanting to disturb the figure, she tried to silently settle in front of the elderly woman. Apparently she wasn't successful, because the very moment in which she touched the ground, the old woman, that by now she knew that was her older self, opened her eyes and stared at her._

_Not knowing exactly what to do and not sure if future her was aware of her presence, Morgana opted to remain in silence and wait for her older self to say something. They stood like that, facing each other for a while. Then, Morgana began to lose her patience and became stirred. Noticing her change of demeanor, her elder self laughed wholeheartedly, confusing the younger, and finally spoke:_

"Hello, child. I can sense that you are still an impatient young one. Guess you should be, in your present, as there are many choices to be made and many possibilities for the future. But yet, you tried to get the answers in their own pace, instead of immediately come clashing at whatever was in your way. You deserve to be praised for your prudence." _The old said, smiling genuinely at the young._

"You noticed me?" _Morgana asked her._

"What do you take me for? An old babbling crazy witch? I have enough age to be your great grandmother, young lady." _She chuckled, to the younger's astonishment._

_ Still confused, Morgana cleared her throat and continued:_

"I came here so that you could teach me how to have better control over my powers and to give me the knowledge needed in order to keep Camelot safe."

"Directly to the point, huh? Not even an 'Oh, Morgana, you look lovely as an old lady!" or 'White hair suits you!' or 'Your eyes shine like the ones of a little girl'?"

"What?" _The younger one asked incredulous._

"You heard me, I didn't have hearing problems at such a young age!" _The elder said in a reprehensive tone that was swiftly replaced by a giggle._

"Yes, but I have many important problems to solve right now …" _she said in an unsure manner._

"And will affect their resolution if you relax just a little bit? Do you think that a gloomy Monarch is a better one?" _her elder asked, tilting her head to the side for emphasis_.

"I don't have the time to think about it right now! There are many things to solve, please, just answer my plead!" _Morgana replied in a demanding tone._

"My, my! You already lost your composure. Such a fierce Queen." _she said, giggling again._ "Forget the praise, child, you're indeed me, at least my younger self. So much passion over your cause." _She paused and smiled to her younger_ "May I ask you exactly which is it?"

"To protect Camelot's people, magical and common alike." _She answered raising her chin._

"Is it? After everything you've been through you replied so promptly. Did you even though deeply about it?" _the elder questioned her, while tilting her head from side to side._

"Can you, please, stop that? It's difficult to keep a serious conversation while you keep acting like a damned owl!" _Morgana exclaimed._

"Who said that you have to be serious all the time?" _the old woman kept tilting her head_.

"You're doing this on purpose! I've already told you that it annoys me!" _the younger said, irritated._

"So … what are you going to do about it? Force me to stop? Will you do that with everyone that irritates you?"

"No! I'm not like Uther! I don't have a maddening need to control everything and everyone around me!" _the young said, sounding indignant._

"Is that so?"

"It is!"

_The old seer laughed loudly and continued:_

"At least you recognize that you are similar." _Morgana tried to protest, but the elder kept talking:_

"Will it be enough? That and the will to change, to be different from him? Will it suffice?"

"I don't know! The only thing that I can do now is try!" _Young Morgana said, trying to regain composure._

_Her older self smiled again, and spoke to her, seriously this time:_

"Your intentions are good, Morgana. But you still have much anger residing inside of you. You are still bitter, hurt and with a hardened heart. The way you are now can lead you to many different paths. Some are of pain and suffering, others are of healing and mending, it is up to you to choose. Along the way, many questions will rise in which you must decide if you'll solve them with hate or with love. Depending on your answer, you and those surrounding you can live in happiness or immerse in darkness."

_Morgana kept silent, while thinking about what her elder self said. _

"You see! That's why I don't like to be serious! You were talking so much just a few moments ago and now you have that somber look on your face and you are speechless, as if I just told you that you're responsible for the whole world's fate!" _the old one told her while giggling. Touching their foreheads, her elder self passed to her a wave of power and knowledge that left the younger one dizzy._

"You must discover your own truth, Morgana. What **you **really believe in. And I cannot respond that question."

"Why not?" _a still confused younger one asked._

"Because you'd miss the best part of the journey! I don't want to spoil the fun!" _her elder told her, grinning._ "Look at the time! You must go! I'm expecting someone else and you can't be here when he gets here! So shoo, shoo" _she said gesturing with her hands._

_The image began to blur again while Morgana heard a final advice from her older self, while she chuckled:_

"Remember, Morgana, when you need someone to trust in, trust in yourself. And you no longer need to be afraid of sleep!"

The young queen was once more in her quarters. She could feel her magic, stronger than ever, surging under her skin, while she was still dizzy. She decided to wait a little to regain her composure and think about everything her older self told her. Only for a while, after that, she would confront her sister.

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**A/N: So … I hope you guys have enjoyed this chapter and old crazy bat-shit Morgana. I just want assure you that she is not crazy there, just a lovely annoying old lady. Her inspiration was Yoda questioning Luke's motives to become a Jedi. I think she didn't even trolled Morgana enough, and some people might not even think that it was funny at all (but I do, I have a goofy sense of humor). Enough of my babbling! Next chapter is Mergana smut (finally!) but I don't know when I'll write it, because life got me articles and stuff for my master to do. So basically, I have no idea of what I'm doing, ops, it wasn't that, it was I have no idea when I'll update again. See you next chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, it belongs to BBC**

**A/N: Warning! Contains Mergana smut scene, if you are underaged, please don't read Merlin's part in italic. Next chapter I'll surely mention what happened, so please wait a bit. **

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**Chapter 8**

**Somewhere at Gallia**

**Same timeline of Camelot**

_Merlin's dream _

_They were at Morgana's bedchambers, during nighttime. It was the last day of the feast dedicated to the signing of the Five Kingdoms treaty. In the following day all the visitors would return to their realms. As it was the last night of celebration, the castle servants had a lot of work to do, but, at that moment, Merlin was laughing aloud alongside her ladyship. She had helped him to successfully avoid the Prat Prince and his endless demands, so they were hiding in her room for the time being. _

_While he was there, she offered some wine to him and they both had been drinking and chit-chatting, and for some unknown reason they stood up facing each other. In a drunken state they were spouting so much nonsense that it was actually funny, so they were constantly bursting into laughs from time to time, just like the one that began mere instants ago._

_"__Arthur was hilarious! He was totally under a spell, thinking that he was capable of dressing himself! Can you believe that when he put his belt his shirt was stuck above it? He must have a talent to be such a clot pole, that's the only explanation! How can a prince, someone that one day will rule an entire kingdom, not be able to put his own clothes on?" Merlin said, while grinning and laughing too. Morgana was chuckling, not that her step brother's inability to dress himself was something new._

_"__He doesn't need to be enchanted to think he can do something he cannot. You are the one responsible for his helmets, right? Then you must know how it's constantly necessary to stretch his helmets to fit his big head in!" She said, giggling._

_"__Believe me, I know too well. And not just his helmets, his chainmail too needed to be replaced." He approached her to whisper in her ear, barely containing his lips from grinning: "I have a suspicion that he might be pregnant. That's the only explanation for his weight gain, mood swings and enormous appetite."_

_Morgana laughed hard, to the point that tears were beginning to form on her eyes because of how much she was laughing. Merlin couldn't restrain himself and joined her._

_The more they looked at each other, the more they laughed, until the point that they were no longer laughing of Merlin's jokes or Morgana's witty comments, there was no longer a reason for their laugh, but they continued anyway._

_During those moments, they were feeling a totally unexplained happiness, that exceed the usual glee expected from some funny keen remarks. It was turning into something different, more, as if just being in the other's company was the only needed reason for such bliss._

_While savoring that delightful sensation, their eyes met. As they gazed at each other, their laughed died down, being replaced by genuine smiles that they couldn't exactly contain, even if they wanted. He couldn't quite figure out what was happening, he just felt the need to look at her, while she had an expression he couldn't exactly recognize. He felt as if he was mesmerized not only by the beauty of her eyes (and yes, they were beautiful, well, __**she**__ was simply breathtaking), but by the promises that they withheld. For a moment, he could understand it. There, right in front of him, was that amazing, strong, kind, compassionate woman that wanted him, not to be her servant, loyal admirer or only a good friend. She wanted him to be something different, something more, as if she needed him to be her home, to fill her life with endless wonder, to be where she belongs. He understood that, he was mimicking her features, because, at that moment, he also felt that he needed her to be the same for him. _

_In a silent understanding, they kissed each other, both closing the gap between then with the same intent. They could sense the heat emanating from their bodies, it initiated from their rapidly beating hearts and spread all along their frame. It was so hot that they could pretty well be feverish, except that they weren't. Merlin vaguely thought that their magic could also be part of _

_They stood there, intertwined in their arms, sharing a passionate kiss, that was barely able to refrain another outburst of laughing and their own smiles because the sensation that accompanied it was so addictive and so __**good**__ and __**right**__ that they felt the need to rejoice on it. It was as if they finally fit somewhere or with someone, to be more precisely; as if nothing else existed but them; as if nothing bad could ever happen; no heartache could ever reach them; as if they were finally safe and sound, and that brought an indescribable relief. Merlin felt as if his own soul was reverberating in tandem with hers._

_They broke the kiss in order to breathe, not that it was much effective, because they kept giggling nonstop in each other's arms. Then, Morgana finally said something, after making sure that she could calm herself a bit first:_

_"__Merlin, I love you."_

_Not knowing how it was possible, Merlin's heart beat faster when she spoke that, and he was overloaded with so much bliss that he was no longer capable of thinking straight and just kissed her again with such need, as if he could anytime awaken and discover that everything was merely a dream._

_From them on, they didn't talk much, just giggled and grinned to one another every time their lips were apart, which wasn't very often as they kissed with such hunger, as if they feared that the other could disappear anytime and those sensations, those feelings of belonging could be merely wishful thinking or their minds playing tricks on them. _

_They touched themselves in a sweet and desperate manner, as if making sure that the other was there. _

_Freya didn't even pass through Merlin's mind at that time and if he had remembered her, he would be able to notice that whatever it was that he felt for the druid girl palled immensely in comparison with what he was experiencing at that moment._

_Merlin's entire attention was directed to Morgana and all the sensations that came from being around her and savoring her kisses, tracing the perfect contours of those sinful red lips with his own, sensing her silky curls between his fingers while he had grabbed a fistful of her hair, needing to touch it, and her smell. If he wasn't already drunk, only her smell would be enough to completely inebriate him. He could taste the wine they had been drinking not long ago. Maybe all the alcohol was affecting his reasoning, but he didn't want to think at all, every fiber of his being demanded that he focused only on her._

_The heat surrounding them was beginning to make their own clothes too hot to be inside of. So, they began to undress in a clumsily way, between heated kisses._

_Every part of their skin that was freed from their garments was almost immediately touched by the other, as if they didn't want to miss any sensation that could come from the other._

_Once they were completely naked, Merlin forced his body apart from hers, because he wanted to admire her fully and imprint her image in his memory forever. She whimpered, missing his touch, but didn't openly complain. _

_They ogled each other's bare frame until their eyes locked. When that happened, they could perceive more than mere lust between them, it was a genuine yearning unlike anything they had ever felt before and, at those brief instants, they could glance more than just their nudeness of clothes, they were bare of any barriers between them, they contemplated each other's true self, even if for only a glimpse. _

_Them they sensed such a strong impulse, prompting them to join their lips again and taste their mouths and tongues, that they swiftly closed the gap between them and were again intertwined in one another, touching everywhere they could access with her hands, legs, tights, mouths and other parts. _

_They clumsily walked towards her four-poster bed without breaking their kisses. Morgana laid down with Merlin atop of her, placing his knees in the gap between her thighs. He caressed her arms slowing, his hands going up, smiling against her lips, just like she did with her own mouth. Separating their mouths, Merlin began placing soft kisses against her neck and jawline, while her hands roamed along his back, tracing every line of his. While he was administrating his caresses on her neck, Morgana whimpered and moaned softly, increasing his arouse. At that moment, his shaft twitched, touching her clitoris, and she gasped at the sensation._

_As two unexperienced youngsters, Merlin and Morgana had no idea of what they were doing, everything was new to them, so they tested that fresh feeling thrusting their hips against the other, causing friction between them._

_The thrill they felt was enough for make both of them gasp and keep their mouths open for a while. Then, their eyes locked again and that gleeful feeling was there again. Their lips met once more, muffling their moans, while they rubbed against each other in a frenetic rhythm._

_He could sense that there was something hot and slippery touching his shaft, and that their moans and gasp weren't the only sounds. Where their bodies met some wet noises were heard, as well as the sound of flesh hitting flesh. _

_His right hand was caressing her left breast, while his left arm he used to support his weigh above her. As it was getting harder to keep his movements, he putted his right arm too, propping himself in his elbows._

_Her left hand was placed at his chest, while her right one squeezed his left butt cheek, and she spread her legs even wider, to touch more of him._

_They kept doing this until he felt her going steady underneath him, while moaning louder and glowing her eyes gold. He could sense her magic caressing him when she achieve her orgasm, and for a moment was worried if he would have the same reaction and reveal his magic to her accidentally, so he stopped moving._

_Noticing his hesitation, Morgana kissed him deeply and in such a sweet manner that he had no doubt that she loved him. At that moment, he could completely understand just how much she loved him, and it was a lot. He felt as if utterly taken by an addictive happiness and couldn't contain his grinning. Not only his lower regions were heated, his heart was so warm and good, that if he died then, he would go happily._

_When they broke the kiss, their eyes locked once more. He hadn't yet reached his climax and he desperately needed to be inside of her, but he was trying to control himself, so he looked at her as if asking for permission. She nodded, while biting her lower lip, and that image make his shaft throb once again, violently._

_So, he looked to their middles, grabbed his member with his hand and positioned it at her entrance. Slowly, not to hurt her, he slid it until the very base. He groaned and provoked gasps and moans from Morgana._

_After he was completely sheathed, he paused, both to allow her time to adjust and not to spill his seeds immediately with the amazing sensation of her insides._

_He parted his lips and was assaulted by her mouth, claiming his with hunger. All their moving caused him to whimper as he concentrated not to finish right there. By then, Morgana was slowly moving her hips as he was trying to steady her._

_"__Wait … Morgana." Merlin whispered. _

_"__Merlin …" She said in a husky tone and nibbled his earlobe._

_He was about to climax at that point and to avoid it he used his magic. _

_Feeling more confident, he tested unsheathing his member from her, and stuck it again slowly. She encouraged his movements, placing her legs around his waist._

_She moaned, making his shaft throb once more, and giggled when their eyes met._

_He then sped up his pace, making sure to test new angles to hit, listening to her response. He remembered that someone said something about a "magic button" as a female's body part, that could make them feel even more pleasure, so he put his right hand between them and searched for it, finding her nub. When he did this, Morgana said:_

_"__Yes, Merlin, there!"_

_So he guessed that he had found it._

_He kept making circular movements with his hips as she answered with moves of her own. They moved in tandem, aiming to pleasure themselves and their lover. Their moans and gasps filled the room, and he was thankful for the thick stone walls, that muffled most of the sounds._

_Their eyes met many times and every time that happened, he could feel her love for him and it made him extremely gleeful. Both of them couldn't contain their giggles, moans, smiles and the bliss they felt._

_They kept this rhythm for a while, eventually kissing and tasting the other's neck, licking their fingers, touching other body parts, nuzzling their heads and laughing until he felt her insides clamp around his length and he accompanied her, spilling his seed in her womb. He kissed her then, muffling their orgasmic voices, and feeling the heat of her heart against his chest. _

_Then, he unplugged his shaft from her insides, noticing the blood between her legs, mixed with his semen. He was surprised, if there was blood, then it was supposed to have hurt, so he asked her:_

_"__Did you feel pain, Morgana? Did I hurt you?"_

_She looked confused and said:_

_"__No … I don't think so, it was a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning, but then it only got better. You have nothing to fear, Merlin, I guess I am just too drunk to feel it now, maybe tomorrow it'll actually hurt." She told him, giving him a reassuring smile and kissing his lips sweetly._

_They cuddled and caressed each some more, until he fell asleep in her bed._

_Then he had another dream, one that involved Kilgarrah roasting a rabbit, sitting in a campfire with him and singing tavern songs._

_Another dream took replaced the previous, this time Arthur had ate too much, was having a stomach ache and complaining about it until ploft, another Arthur appeared and he had two prats to order him around. _

Merlin awoke from his sleep. He had the annoying sensation that he was forgetting something important, but he couldn't tell exactly what. He checked his companions' bedroll, to make sure that they were ok. Arthur and Gwen were cuddling in their sleep, with the blonde spooning his wife while snoring by her side. Arthur was supposed to wake up Gwen for the second turn of watch over their camping, but apparently he couldn't do it and for some inexplicable reason, the prat hadn't kicked Merlin out of his own bedroll.

The young warlock guessed that Gwen didn't let her husband wake him up to take the watch, as it was supposedly her turn, and that Arthur didn't allowed his wife to face the chilly night alone, so they were just left unguarded. Merlin didn't mind it, this time they were safe and no harm was done.

Fully awoken, the young dragonlord seated in a log near the camp's fire, thinking about everything that had happened in that last month. They had left Camelot, embarked in a journey to god knows where and hadn't found a single killer sent by Morgana. He thought that she wasn't just going to let Arthur and Gwen go, so he had kept his guards up, waiting for the next threat … that didn't come.

Merlin was shocked that she hadn't attempted anything against Arthur's and Gwen's life in the meantime. She should probably know where they were headed (or have at least a clue), but up until that moment nobody, if he didn't count the usual bandits in the road, had actually intended harm his friends.

The more he thought about it, he only got more clueless regarding the witch's true intentions. He didn't like it, she might just be waiting to swoop over them and eliminate any remaining threats to "her" throne.

The worst part was that Merlin wasn't sure if he was capable of protecting his friends. Ever since they left Albion, well its seas in fact, his magic has been weird, weaker, as if he was constantly surrounded by a suppressive atmosphere. It was hard to feel it underneath his skin, as if something wasn't allowing magic to roam free.

When they first arrived in Gallia, he thought that it was only sea sickness, and his stomach was taking its time to settle again. He wrote a letter to his mother and Gaius right after he set foot on land again, so he didn't make anything of the situation back then, he thought it was temporary, except that it wasn't.

It was hard for him to access his powers and he didn't know why. He had to concentrate deeper to achieve the same effect he instinctively had back at home. In fact instinctive magic wasn't possible. He had to chant a spell in order to produce a spell with a third of its previous potency. So basically they were in a very bad situation and he was nervous every waking moment because he wasn't sure he would be able to protect Arthur and their fate.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**This chapter is smut free, but I can't guarantee that it won't make you sad at some point.**

**First, thank you all for reading this fic, following, marking it as your one of your favorites and reviewing it. So, last chapter I didn't reply any reviews and … I'm sorry for that. I was doing stuff and wanted to post it soon. It was originally one single chapter, but it grew so much and that part was already finished, so I decided to post it immediately. Ok, that's it for now.**

**Once again, thank you larasmith for always reviewing new chapters, I guess I partially dealt with Morgause, don't know if you are going to like it or not, I just think that it was a veritable way for Morgana to act like she did in this chapter due to how much her sister meant (or means) to her. About the throne, not everything is what it seems, so you'll have to wait a little bit longer to discover what Morgana will do. Concerning Merlin's magic, there's a clue in the air, feel free to make theories about it.**

**To ladygoddess8: yes, you're getting it. Morgana confront Morgause here, and she shows her true colors (but was Morgana truly unaware of her sister's motives?). About the poisoning scene, I think it's better for Morgana to actually confront Merlin about it, just don't ask me when.**

**To Riy: thank you for the comment. I too laughed as I was writing his other dreams, I'm like the person that cannot stop laughing of her own jokes. It is strange, sometimes I'm at some random place and remember one joke – not necessarily mine – and can't contain myself. Hey, if you have magic, why it can't help during some "interesting" times? Why not use it? My theory is if you can, just do it!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**At Camelot**

Morgana left her room, magically locking it and warding it against intruders. She had a bracelet to destroy later that same day, so she couldn't afford anyone to swipe it from her. Cloaked against the cold, using her beautiful green one, she went to the stables and took a bunch of straw. She did a poppet and attached a strand of Morgause's hair to it.

Then, she went to the palace's study and asked a guard to summon her sister.

After he left, she chanted a spell, as she placed a small chain around the doll and her eyes glowed gold:

"C**lústor eallne þæs drycræftes hire sawle!**"

The doll shined and the chains clutched to it in a tight grip. The seer hid the poppet in an intern pocket of her cloak. Not much longer, her sister entered the chamber, closing the door after her.

"You wish to speak, sister?" Morgause asked.

"Yes, Morgause." The younger woman said in a serious tone of voice.

"I am here. Tell me what is in your mind." Her sibling told her, while intertwining her own hands in front of her.

Morgana closed her hands in fists and spoke, with gritted teeth:

"I know what you did, Morgause! The bracelet was enchanted, but not only to heal or help me sleep! It was twisting me, turning me into the very own **MONSTER** I feared I was when I discovered my magic!" She said, raising her voice tone.

"Sister, I had to do it. I needed your undivided loyalty to our cause …" The blond-haired woman replied, being interrupted by her younger sibling that shouted:

"**AND WHICH CAUSE IS IT? ARE YOU CERTAIN THAT IT'S TO BRING MAGIC BACK? OR THAT'S JUST AN EXCUSE TO DO A DAMNED BLOODTHIRSTY GODDESS WILL**?"

"Sister …" Morgause tried to calm her, opening her hands and separating her arms, trying to make a peaceful gesture.

"**DON'T CALL ME THAT**!" Morgana said, wheezing and glaring at her sibling, taking a deep breath and continuing, this time without shouting, but still keeping a menacing tone:

"Real sisters care for each other, for their wellbeing. They love one another regardless of their opinion concerning some specific subject. Real siblings don't go on turning the other into the very thing he or she fears the most." Morgana stopped, feeling a thump in her throat before adding:

"You … you were everything to me once. Everything that I had left in this cruel world. You didn't **need **to do that, Uther and Merlin were already able to detach my loyalties from Camelot."

"But you wouldn't be capable of doing what needed to be done, you'd keep an useless attachment to your brother, to your maid and to the people …" Morgause tried to reason with her.

"I would do what was right! Not your twisted version of it! But we could come to an understanding, Morgause!" The young queen said, raising her tone again.

"Morgana, I don't follow **my** will, I follow the Goddess's! We couldn't came to a common ground because **I** don't have a saying in Her wishes, **I** am only an **instrument **for Her will." She paused briefly, changing her expression to a pleading one: "You know that, I taught you … and you too accepted to be completely devoted to Her."

"That's not entirely true! That day, the day you attacked Camelot with the knights of Medhir, you could have killed Uther if you just had let me die! But you didn't, you traded your success in that mission for me!"

"Yes! And I did so partially because of my heart, but also partially due to the greatness **you** will achieve serving the Goddess!" Morgause said passionately.

"So … in the end, if you had to choose between me and the Triple Goddess you would still choose her, regardless of your own heart desire?" Morgana asked, allowing her sadness to her known.

"You already know the answer to that question, Morgana. You too have sworn the same vows that I have, you're only not yet prepared to fully comprehend the truth." Her sister said, trying to soothe her, and continued:

"I'm sorry for the methods that I used, but they were a necessary evil for the achievement of a greater cause." The older woman said. She approached her sister and tried to caress her cheek, but Morgana grabbed her hand in the air and told her:

"Are you aware that by your logic **everything** that has ever happened in this land was the Goddess will? Do you comprehend that the **Great Purge** was also part of it? You said that **nothing** could ever occur contrary to **HER** wishes!" The young queen said, once more expressing her rage in her voice.

"Morgana …" Her sister tried to say, but was interrupted.

"I'm not finished! You once said that the Old Religion is all about balance to this earth, between good and evil, life and death, love and hatred, always some duality that needed to maintain its balance." She said with gritted teeth, restraining herself not to shout, while her sister looked incredulously at her.

"But I refuse to believe in that! I refuse to accept that some crazy divinity that has **ALL** the power over **our** lives, choosing on a whim who can or can't have everything they want, condemning and absurd number of people to a life of misery!"

Her sister keep gazing her in astonishment, as if Morgana had grew another head.

"You can't do that, Morgana! That's insanity! Nobody can defy the Goddess will! We can't change our fate! We are only mortals! Listen to yourself, you're sounding like a mad queen, clouded by your power!" Morgause tried to reason with her.

Morgana forgot she was supposed to remain at least controlled and shouted again, while crushing her sister's hand in a tight grip:

"I MAKE MY OWN DESTINY! AND I WON'T ACCEPT A LIFE OF MISERY FOR ME OR MY PEOPLE BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID SO!"

If Morgause was feeling pain in her hand, she didn't show, instead she chanted:

"**Hleap on bæc**!"

As nothing happened, Morgause's face finally betrayed the fear she was feeling. Her sister had glanced the future in the Crystal of Neahtid, worse, had gained powers that she couldn't measure and that was backfiring. She tried once more:

"**Hleap on bæc**!"

Morgana was smirking, that was a bad sign, her older sibling knew that, so she decided to confront her:

"What have you done?"

"I was just ensuring that you could feel the sensation of being stabbed in the back!" Her expression changed from a smirking one to an obviously enraged one as she said those words.

Regaining her composure, Morgause pulled her hand from Morgana's death grip and asked, defiantly:

"And what will you do to me? Execute me like your filthy father would?"

"No, my true father wouldn't do that, he was a good man, something that you can never understand." The young queen said, raising her chin and continued:

"If I were like Uther, I'd burn you in the stake! But I'm not him! You'll be imprisoned until I decide your fate."

Then she swung her left hand and the study's door opened, revealing three nervous guards too much afraid to intervene in the witch sister's quarrel, as Morgana expected. The queen ordered:

"Guards, arrest her."

Noticing their hesitation, she added:

"I'll accompany her to the dungeons. She cannot do no harm, her magic is restrained."

The guards nodded affirmatively, even letting some embarrassment for their cowardice show, and approached the High Priestess, shackling her wrists behind her back.

"Before we go, there is something I should do." Morgana said, raising her hand to her chin and holding it, mimicking a thoughtful expression. Then she waved her hand and all her sister's hidden weapons dropped on the floor, while Morgause glared at her for an instant, swiftly changing it for a mask of indifference.

"Now we can go!" Morgana said in a seemly cheerful tone.

* * *

As they reached the dungeons and she personally made sure that her sister was securely shackled in her cell, Morgana was leaving the dungeons when she was met Gaius in a corridor. He looked surprised as he spoke to her:

"Your highness, I just heard the news! You have arrested your sister!"

"Yes, Gaius. And that does concerns you because …?" she replied in an annoyed and questioning tone.

"My queen, I just desire what is best for Camelot. And arresting an Advisor in a great happening. It can be seen in a suspicious manner by the other." He tried to be diplomatic.

"So, you were just making sure if my magic hasn't fully corrupted me, like you believe that is what happens to people born with it! How thoughtful of you, Gaius!" she said, mocking him.

"I understand that you must be unsettled due to whatever disagreement you had with your sister, but those were not the manners that Gorlois has taught you when answering your elders." He said, raising his eyebrow in a reprimand way.

"As I guess that lying to one's face every single day of their existence isn't how your parents have raised you, Gaius." She answered bitterly.

"My child …"

"I'm not a child! If you are so curious to know why I have quarreled with Morgause, then I'll answer you! She just did the same thing that you and Merlin did: she betrayed me!" Morgana told him, visibly agitated.

Gaius looked shocked and promptly responded:

"But I have never betrayed you, my child. I always tried to protect you, to keep you safe and sound inside of Camelot." He said, trying to soothe her.

"By drugging me with magic suppressors? That worked wonders!" She replied sarcastically. By then, the physician had a perplexed face when he answered:

"But how … did you know? I never told anyone and always kept my formula a secret." He said guilty.

"I didn't, Gaius, you just confirmed my suspicion." She said, letting the hurt she was feeling being detected in her tone of voice.

Gaius raised his hand to his mouth as if doing so could turn back time and correct the slide of the truth.

Morgana stared at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, at least deny it, came up with a lame excuse, but she had got him off guard, she knew it. Feeling tired from all the events of the day, she decided to say:

"This is not the best place to have this conversation. Anyone can hear us and I … I have more things to ask you. I expect that you answer me truly, Gaius, that's the least you can do to show any sort of repent for your lies." She said in a calm tone, more so due to her fatigue.

The old man nodded to her and said:

"Please, accompany me to my quarters." And he gestured for her to pass the corridors in the physician's chamber direction. She did so, being closely followed by him.

When they arrived at their destination and Gaius closed the door, he pointed at a stool near the table and told her:

"Please, take a seat, my queen." As she did so, he too settled in another stool, then spoke to her:

"Morgana, it is true that I have been giving you magic suppressors, mixed in your sleeping draughts, since you were a child. I admit it. But you must understand. I only did so in order to protect you from Uther's persecution! Your father, Gorlois, asked me to do it! He was afraid that your dreams were visions, just like your mother's were!"

She looked shocked with his confession, but didn't stop him, even as he waited for a reaction from her. So, the physician decided to continue speaking:

"You were only five when you had your first vision. We didn't know that Uther was your father by blood, at least if Gorlois knew he never told me, he pleaded my help as your father, he begged me to help you. He said he couldn't afford to lose you, that he would do anything to protect you."

Her eyes were starting to be filled with tears, but she didn't make a sound. Gaius was beginning to be concerned, but kept going:

"You must understand … that time Uther drowned children that were suspected of having magic … So I gave your father's physician the formulae and special ingredients. When Gorlois died and you came to live in Camelot I … I kept you safe, like I had promised him."

A single tear left her right eye and Morgana rubbed her eyes to avoid crying there. She placed a finger in each eyelid, because that was the only way she knew she could contain her tears and still hold a conversation with the old man. She then told him:

"That doesn't explain why you kept me in the dark when my magic grew strong enough to be contained by your inhibitors. No, considering you harbored a damn **warlock** in your quarters!" She said in an accusing way and heard him gasping as she wasn't keeping eye contact.

"Morgana, who are you talking about?" He asked her, trying to keep a stoic voice.

The young queen retrieve her fingertips from her eyelids and stared at Gaius with red eyes and, with a determined expression on her face, tried to speak, but merely being able to whisper:

"Merlin." As she said the warlock name, tears run freely through her eyes and she once more closed them and pressured them with her fingers, to avoid openly crying.

"Why?" she was capable of speak, while containing her sobs.

Gaius was heartbroken seeing her like that. He remembered her as a young child, just after she lost Gorlois. Back then, while she was grieving, she would react with rage to almost everybody's words. She fought Uther's commands and affections, determined to find her father again, even though she was aware that he wasn't coming back. It was not in her nature to give up, to accept defeat. The only ones that could calm her were himself and Arthur. Back then, the young prince was a very sensible boy and was constantly scolded by Uther for that. The young Pendragon wasn't scared by his new sibling continuous rage, shouting and flying fists, he persisted in his self-proclaimed duty to build her a new home, a safe haven. Gaius didn't know which of them was the most stubborn one, all he knew was that in the end their golden prince prevailed and Morgana was no longer behaving like a wounded wild animal.

Nevertheless her present grieve wasn't something that her brother could fix or at least soothe her pain. The old man sighed. His own methods allowed such tragedy to take place. He knew she was going to confront him about everything and there was no escaping it.

She repeated her question again, this time gritting her teeth:

"Why?"

"Because I told him that he had to keep his magic a secret. Me and the Great Dragon."

"Kilgarrah …" she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Morgana. I did what I thought it was the best. I actually believed that it would be better if you never developed your powers so that you didn't have to hide from Uther."

She looked at him again with her bloodshot eyes.

"That was not your decision to make. It was mine. I had the right to know the truth. Magic wasn't my choice, Gaius, I had no control over it, I was a threat to myself and to everyone around me because I didn't master my instinctive magic. But if you or Merlin had taught me I could have used it to help his and Arthur's destiny – if what the dragon said was true, not just a lie to manipulate Merlin." She said in an impressively calm tone as he was expecting her shouts or magic blasts by them.

She was making perfect sense and that only made him question even more if his decisions were the correct ones. He sighed again. He was feeling a guilt similar to the one he felt when he simply watched an uncountable amount of innocent people be condemn to death by the previous king.

"You know that Merlin poisoned me." It was more an affirmation than a question, so he just nodded.

"And yet … yet … you …" she was wheezing for the second time that day, while her eyes were filled with tears again. It was painful to watch such a strong young woman expressing those emotions, so the old man decided to spare her the trouble and said:

"I didn't tell him about your child. He doesn't know, even today. It would only be cruel to him. When he had to poison you he was heartbroken to do so, but he said you didn't give him other choice. You are aware that he only did that to save Camelot and Arthur, Morgana. He didn't want to, he just couldn't find another way."

Gaius's words struck her, especially the last sentence. Merlin too was a puppet of fate, maybe even as fanatic as her sister, the only difference was that he was in the opposite side, protecting the Pendragons. She thought that if she had told him she was with child, his children, he would have found another way, that he wouldn't give up on her so easily. But that was the past and there was nothing she could do to change that. Brood about it wouldn't do any good, it could only bring more misery.

So, exhausted with everything that had happened that day, Morgana only nodded to the old man's words, stood up from her seat and went in the direction of the door.

She was halted by Gaius's question:

"My queen, what do you intend to do now?"

She spun to look at him and said:

"To you, nothing. Camelot needs a physician and you are the only one available here, Gaius, at least for the moment. For now, I'll tolerate your presence, as long as you avoid talking to me or treating me like a damn child!" she said the last sentence with authority in her voice.

"I … thank you, your Highness." He bowed.

She turned again and left his quarters, going to Arthur's bedchambers because she didn't want to go back at hers and Uther's always make her remember of the tyrant king. She wanted something familiar to rely on, now that the only object that somehow calmed her nerves by its mere existence was in reality her doom.

So she went to the only place that could bear a similarity to something that she once had, but lost in the way: a family or at least a sense of belonging.

She laid in her brother's bed, like she did before when she was only ten years-old and he was nine. She fell asleep shortly, due to her fatigue.

That night she didn't dream of visions, but a memory, a painful one, as it showed something she knew she couldn't have. It was about when she said "I love you" to Merlin and they made love, except that she was the only one that thought that love was involved in his actions. After that night he avoided her like the plague, so the only reasonable explanation was that he just hadn't felt the same way. So, she was left emotionally crippled as her mind replayed those scenes and, even while she slept, tears flowed through her eyes down to her face, soaking the pillow she had rested her head in.

* * *

**A/N: ****Meaning of the spells:**

**"****Clústor eallne þæs drycræftes hire sawle!" – Lock all the magic of her soul!**

**"****Hleap on bæc" – Flip on your back.**

**I have another suggestion of soundtrack here, at least for the final part. It is an OST from a Korean Drama, so it's a Korean song. I don't understand a word they say, but the melody is good and the lyrics are heartbreaking, it is called "That man" or "That woman". If you got curious, look for the song with English lyrics. I prefer the translation of "That man", but they are the same, it's just that people translated it better, I guess.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**I thank everybody that keeps track of this humble story and find in your hearts the goodness to appreciate it. My sincere thanks!**

**To larasmith – no, Arthur wasn't the only one that could calm her, Gaius could too! In my headcanon Gwen wasn't Morgana's maid as soon as she moved to Camelot, so that explains Gaius's thoughts about Morgana's arrival. The bracelet had an emotional meaning for Morgana, I think that's clear during the series. So, I just wanted to show that she has lost everything that comforted her, so she goes to the only place that she felt any familiarity with, in the absence of people she could rely on. Well, abusive parents can influence (and most of the times do so) in their children's personality. I think that Arthur's pratness was just his way of managing all his father's expectations, he had to make people miserable in order to feel better (like any normal bully). I also think that Uther might have encouraged part of the prattish behavior too and Morgana didn't have a say many times, as Arthur spent more time apart from her fulfilling his duties. About what Morgana will do to Arthur and Gwen, guess you'll have to keep reading this fic to know.**

**Morgana's love life will remain a secret … for some chapters! (I hope that you no longer want her dead)**

**To ladygoddess8 – Yeah, in theory Morgana was in a better position than Merlin, always were, but she didn't know that back in season 2. All she knew was that Uther had already told her that he wouldn't hesitate in breaking his promise to Gorlois if she stepped out of the line again (episode 1x08). So, she wasn't sure (I think before-death-Uther wouldn't burn her to the stake nor kill her, more like try to "cure" Morgana of her magic, but it's just my personal opinion). We know that Merlin had his mentors telling him not to say the truth, but that also means that he didn't trust her enough, neither was sufficiently brave to question her about her true loyalties, he preferred to just believe in the dragon's words (and I think Kilgarrah is a villain in the story, only one that is clever enough to manipulate the protagonist, but that's just my theory) and kill her. It pained him and it was his biggest regret in life (just see his final words to Morgana), but in the end he didn't take the risk, even though it was a painful choice, he went through the easier way – that was poisoning her. He wanted her dead and didn't even had the guts to do the deed himself, he just watched (while saving Uther!) when the knight attacked Morgana, that was extremely coward.**

**Seriously, there were so many times he didn't listen to them (Gaius and the dragon) why not just this time too? I think that the Dragon was saying the "prophecy" parts when Merlin's actions could actually settle this or that fate. He said that Morgana was dangerous and that influenced Merlin to be suspicious of her and keeping her in the dark. It's like in those greek tragedies. Part of the "fate" thing happens because someone (not the one that will do the bad thing) tries to avoid the fate and that action actually makes that horrible future happen, like in the Oedipus myth or when Merlin saw those visions at the crystal cave (3x05). **

**To Riy: thanks for the review. Now Morgana wants to be less emo. In this chapter she didn't even cry once! Yeah, Morgause's destiny will only be known at the next chapter though.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**At Camelot**

**Two days after Morgana's coronation**

Morgana woke up, still in the white dress she wore during the previous day. When both sorceresses where accessing the Crystal of Neahtid's power – in fact only her, which lead to the discovery of another betrayal on her list, probably the most significant of them all – none had thought about getting ready for bed, even if it was already getting late. _Maybe because witches function better after midnight_, she thought sarcastically.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to fully awake. She was so tired last night that not even a single vision disturbed her slumber, even without any sleep-induce methods. _Oh, guess I found a permanent manner to ensure a peaceful sleep – I just have to be emotionally battered every single day. Great!_. She thought again.

Standing up, the young queen traced a plan of action for the day: first she had to get back to her chambers, even though she didn't want it, to get ready for the day and place **that **thing in a secure place until she could think about the best way to get rid of it and its effects. Maybe she had to talk to Gaius again, and that idea got her cranky. After what she told him, run for his help at the first sign of trouble definitely showed how weak and immature she was, exactly what he had called her, a child. No, she would find a solution for her own problems, she would no longer be a dependent naïve girl, waiting for her savior to rescue her. The last time she has shown such fragility her opportunistic sister saw the perfect chance to exploit her, mold her into a mindless bloodthirsty beast, whose sole purpose in life was to seek revenge – regardless if it was a just cause or an insane, hate induced quest like Uther's.

No, refusing to accept other's views about herself meant that she had to face her demons, without anyone assistance. She owed it to her subjects, she owed it to all magic users, everyone that was persecuted just for how they were born. Her life wasn't only her own, her duties came before her personal wishes. And her most important obligation was to provide a safe haven, a place where everybody could be free and unafraid of injustice, a kingdom unrestrained by believes, and punishments for disagreeing with those notions, that imprisoned its citizens into a life of misery. That's what she thought, before she discovered her magic and the fear of persecution almost consumed every fiber of her being. Previously, she was brave, valiant, didn't doubt herself constantly, wouldn't think twice before helping someone in need.

_Maybe I'm only a shadow of that girl and after everything that happened I can never go back. I guess that I'll do what it is truly right – not what Morgause manipulated me into believing that was correct – but this time deal with the consequences, all of them. That's probably what growing up means. That and providing happiness to those around me while dragging my bitter heart alongside._ She thought to herself.

Sighing, Morgana left her brother's room and directed herself to her own chambers, stopping hesitantly in front of the door. She noticed that a maidservant was also there, with a tray of food and a confused expression, gazing at the queen, but apparently too afraid to actually move at all. Sighing again, the seer told the young scared looking red-haired woman:

"You must be a new servant, right? What is your name?"

The red-haired woman bowed before answering:

"Sefa, your Highness."

Morgana smiled weakly at the other woman and continued:

"Sefa, I won't have breakfast in my chambers. I'd like you to place that tray in another room and also prepare a bath there. When you're finished, come back here to call me, right? I'll pass more instructions then."

"Yes, m'lady." She bowed again and was already turning to leave, when she stopped and asked:

"Is there a room of your preference, your Highness?"

"No, Sefa. But I think that the third guest room shall suffice." Morgana replied.

The servant bowed once more and left.

The queen took a deep breath and dispelled the enchantment that kept the room locked, entering and magically locking the door again. She didn't want to be interrupted.

Her bed was a mess. There were scattered pillows, bloodstained sheets and pillows (the ones she used to stop her nasal and auricular bleeding) and perhaps a burnt mark in the mattress – fortunately nothing that actually provoked a fire.

She reckoned the room to find Morgause's bracelet. When she located it, she went to her vanity, picked a jewel box, emptied its contents in a drawer and, taking a random scarf, enveloped the magical artifact in the cloth, placing it inside of the small box. Then, she chanted "**Hæftinge**" and it closed.

She wasn't sure of what to do with it. Certainly, she needed to better inspect the spell's depth and influence, but touching that thing wasn't an option, yet it was necessary to determine the full extents of the bracelet's effects. She needed another magic user, one that she could trust that task to, and preferably one that had lots of knowledge regarding magic artifacts.

The first name to come to her mind was Gaius's, but she couldn't exactly trust him, not after all the lies he told her. Then, she came up with an idea. Morgause was exchanging correspondence with other priests, sorcerers, healers, druids, witches and warlocks. It was plausible that at least one of those wouldn't follow the same procedures of her sibling, nor the same believes. So maybe, she could employ their services for either know the true dimension of her sister treachery and, depending of that, commission a counter spell or something similar, that could get her totally rid from the burning rage that consumed her.

That was it. She was going to search Morgause's possessions for every little thing that could be useful and use it to **her** own cause.

Then, Morgana started choosing a new gown for the day, along with the jewelry and make-up to match her outfit. Also, she decided to empty her cupboard, as she would move her belongings to another room, and resolving to use it as an additional container for the cursed bracelet.

So, when Sefa finally knocked on her door and Morgana dispelled the locking enchantment, opening the door, the poor young maid was presented to a war zone. Her queen's chamber had a bloodied bed, with some burnt marks, clothing spread on top of chairs, table and vanity – which, by the way, also had its content scattered, as her ladyship kept taking things from it. The young servant – while trying to hide her shocked expression, unsuccessfully – asked her mistress:

"My lady, what happened here?"

"Oh, this?" Morgana questioned while pointing her index finger to her surroundings and continued "I'm thinking about refurnishing this room. As I must have said at some point, I no longer desire to occupy it, so we'll have to do some changes, like moving my possessions to another chamber, the third guest room is fine for the moment." Morgana replied with a reassuring smile that didn't fulfill its purpose, as the young serving girl remained unsettled. Then, Sefa inquired her:

"But, your Highness, that doesn't explain all the blood and burnt marks! Are you unwell? If that's the case, I'll fetch Gaius immediately to examine you, m'lady!" The red-haired woman said, almost in a single breath.

The queen touched her shoulder in a delicate manner, trying to placate the maid's stir and told her:

"I'm touched for your concern, Sefa, but that isn't needed. I'm fine, I can assure you." Morgana told her, keeping eye contact. Realizing how improper was her action regarding their positions, Sefa once more was completely scared, so she lowered her head, assuming a submissive posture, and spoke to her mistress:

"Forgive me, m'lady, I, as a mere servant, am not and will never be in a position to question your actions. It is just that … m'lady, you give us all hope." Then she spared a glance at the queen, but swiftly lowered her head again, as if she thought she was indignant of her ruler's benevolence, and continued: "My father was born with magic and, ever since King Uther imposed the ban of magic, he has been running for his life. For as long as I can remember, we have been moving, never settling for more than a few months at a time."

She paused briefly to inhale some air and kept going: "He was formely a druid, so he has the marks on his skin, but disagreed with their pacifist ways. He thinks that people have to fight for what they believe in, but before me, my brothers and sisters were of age, he said he wouldn't risk the king's wrath to befall upon us, so he kept waiting." The serving girl spared another glance at her mistress, being more confident when she noticed that the emerald green eyes of her queen held an understanding look. So she added: "That's why, your Highness, that when you lifted the ban all of us were overjoyed with the prospect of a Queen that would be just, merciful and good, like everybody desires. Because you exist, because you are here, to save us, our everyday lives have been filled with hope. Hope that we will live in a better place, hope that my father have the right to be who he is, without being afraid." By then, the young maid glanced at the Morgana with tear-filled eyes.

"You no longer have reasons to fear, Sefa. I'll restore magic to its rightful place and I'll protect every one of my subjects. Camelot will be a place in which everybody can be free. Nevertheless, right now I need your help to move my possessions to the other room. Shall we?" Morgana said, while extending her arm to the door.

_I'm not sure if this girl is telling me the truth or if she is an extremely talented spy/assassin sent by a neighboring kingdom. Her timing is just too much perfect, exactly when I need someone more experienced with magic she comes and present me one. If my previous experiences had taught me something is never to trust completely in a stranger, someone that you just met._ Morgana thought.

Meanwhile, the maid grabbed her mistress's selected clothing, jewels, cosmetics and shoes, as the queen pointed at them, accompanying the seer through the corridor that led to the designed chambers, after the queen magically locked her previous bedchamber door. They chatted while on their way:

"So, Sefa, what is your father name?"

"Ruadan, m'lady." The red-haired woman answered.

"Can you send word for him? I desire to gather all the magic wielders that long to help me build a better Camelot for us all. I think your father might be just the type of person that can assist me in this task." Morgana said while smiling to her.

"Of course, your Highness!" Sefa squealed in joy, tried to bow and unbalanced herself in the middle of her euphoria, so Morgana grabbed her arm to prevent her from falling. A little embarrassed for her own clumsiness, but still too much happy to assume a courteous expression, Sefa continued, with a grin that almost made the corners of her lips touch her ears:

"It's a great honor for him, for all of us! Everybody at home will be overjoyed with the wonderful news!" Morgana thought that if Sefa had her hands free she would be clapping them, so she smiled genuinely at the girl, and said:

"Fine, Sefa." them changed her tone of voice, to a more commanding one, and added: "Now you must help me bathe and get dressed for the day. Later on, when you have gathered other servants to help you move my possessions, I will accompany you in order to pass new instructions and deal with unfinished subjects."

Sefa bowed again and replied:

"Yes, m'lady."

Both women arrived at their destination and the servant helped her mistress in her daily tasks.

* * *

**Camelot's Council Chambers**

**Three hours later**

Morgana was dressed in a green gown, wearing her crown and many other jewels, as well as her trademark red lipstick and eyeliner, with her hair parted right in the middle and her curls cascaded freely. She was surrounded by Camelot's noblemen and advisors. Most of the men held a silly expression on their faces, always grinning in an idiotic manner, probably due to Morgause's spells. The only ones that didn't act like mindless worshippers of herself were Geoffrey of Monmouth and Gaius, with the difference that the first was trembling constantly and the last was simply keeping a stoic expression.

_I have to evaluate whose knights and nobles will stand by my side, after I have freed them from Morgause's control. It's necessary for some to remain enchanted, those that would never accept magic to roam free in this land again, but the others deserve a chance to show their value – and it's merciful, getting them rid of these silly faces. _The queen thought.

Meanwhile, Sir Leon was speaking, obviously grinning like a dork:

"My queen, we registered two riots from yesterday to this morning. They were all vile magic haters, but were all arrested and now await for your just judgment in the dungeons." He said that, fisting his hands to convey his indignation towards the peasants.

"I'll pass their sentences tomorrow, Leon. Today we shall discuss more important matters." Morgana said.

"Has any word arrived from our spies? How are Cenred, Odin and Caerleon taking the news? Are any of these kings preparing for war or have already declared it against Camelot?" She asked in a stern tone of voice.

"We have received a message, from our spy in Essetir." Leon told her, grinning. "He sent a bird, so the message got here in a short time. King Cenred was killed last night and now Lot reigns Essetir. King Lot blames our High Priestess Advisor, the lady Morgause, for the deed." Leon gritted his teeth and closed his fist hard – to the point that Morgana thought that could draw blood if he weren't wearing gloves – and continued: "That treacherous bastard, speaking ill of my beloved queen's sister. If I meet him, I'll crack his neck right away! How dare he!" He said indignant.

"Leon, calm yourself. What else did our spy inform us?" The queen questioned.

"That Lot plans to declare war to Camelot using that excuse. Apparently he had already assembled enough men to invade our kingdom – as if he already knew that we would lift the ban –, so we are expected to receive his declaration alongside with his army at our doorsteps." The first knight replied.

Morgana was content that even if he was enchanted, Leon could keep part of his own reasoning, unlike others of her "fan club" that were almost drooling with her mere sight.

"When he openly proclaims this war against us, others will follow. So we must reinforce our garrisons, and prepare for battle in many fronts." He said so almost sternly, but right after he spoke the last sentence, his silly grin took over again.

"What is more important, Leon, is how did he framed Morgause for Cenred's death. Everything, from Cenred's demise right after my coronation and lift of the ban, alongside with the fact that Lot swiftly maneuvered and reunited an entire army in a single day, is enough to estimate that this isn't an impulsive action. It was a long-term or at least mid-term plan. We all are aware that Morgause spent most of yesterday by my side and now is imprisoned due to treachery, but she didn't have any connection to Lot." The queen said.

"The message doesn't say much about the circumstances of Cenred's death. Only that it happened later at night and that the entirety of Essetir's court witnessed the Lady Morgause throwing a fire blast against the former king during dinner." Leon answered.

_One more thing to ask Morgause, nicely._ The queen thought. Keeping a stoic expression, she told them:

"Lord Cygnus, you're the most prominent lord of the eastern borders. You must send word to the minor lords, so that they assemble the peasants at the nearby fortresses."

Said lord replied goofily: "Yes, your Highness."

"You also must ensure that the villages' grain stocks are transported too. We are near Samhain, they won't be able to survive winter without their food supply."

"Yes, my liege."

"Also, send word to your son, Cygnus. I want him to form a group of five brave men and send a special patrol to scout Lot's army. They must depart tomorrow at dawn." She said.

"Yes, my queen." The lord replied.

"Geoffrey. I need you to gather the Purge's records. I'll exam them later. You must leave the books at the study. Also, I want you to register that Morgause is no longer my heir nor the High Priestess Advisor. In fact, you must change that title to Magic Advisor." She told the scrivener. Still trembling, he complied:

"Yes, my queen."

"Gaius, assemble any number of servant that you may require to produce healing poultices in large scale. Also, prepare medical kits for our soldiers, for them to take to campaign. The royal coffers shall pay for any materials that you need to acquire."

"Yes, my queen." The physician replied, raising one of his eyebrows.

"Leon, warn the other lords to enlist more soldiers for our army. Make sure that they receive a proper payment, from our coffers if needed."

"Yes, your Highness." He said with a silly face, but frowned and inquired her: "But how are we going to retrieve the money for that? Shall we raise the taxes? I do not think that's wise, my queen –"

"Sir Leon, that won't be necessary. In fact, the taxes must be lowered. The people is on the brink of starvation due to the excessive amount of tributes they pay us." Morgana said and continued as the first knight opened his mouth to say something else:

"You mustn't worry, Leon. I already have a solution for that matter. There's plenty of resources in the royal coffers." She assured him.

Almost everybody was appeased with her answer, except for Gaius and Geoffrey, the ones her sibling probably thought that were too much insignificant to actually cause any hassle in her reign.

"For now, you're dismissed." She told them, finishing the meeting.

As the men were preparing to leave, Morgana halted the first knight:

"Not you, Leon. I wish to speak to you in particular."

He nodded and approached her, as she also left her seat and looked around to make sure that no one was there, also chanting a silent spell to soundproof the council room.

**"****Béo ábródene fram ænig diht"** Morgana chanted at him.

Suddenly, Sir Leon blinked and glanced at her alarmed, finally regaining his free will.

"Lady Morgana … erh … Queen Morgana, what happened here? You have magic, not only that, you lifted the ban!"

"Yes, Leon. You were present at my speech, if my memory doesn't fail me." She answered a little annoyed.

"But magic is –"

"What? Evil? Tell me, Leon, do you think that the Druids, people that only wish to live in peace and actually help those in need are evil? Or do you think that a child, born with magic, deserves to be burnt in a pyre simple because of how she or he was born? Or else, do you think it is just to sentence to death every single person that merely talked to a sorcerer or served him or her a cup of mead?" She asked him, visibly irritated.

He merely denied by shaking his head. So, she proceeded:

"I just did what was right. I was born with magic and my own father would have me executed for it. So I did what any sensible person would: I put an end to this madness."

By then, he was clearly ashamed, but still protested:

"Forgive me, my queen, but I still believe that magic is a dangerous matter. Up until now I wasn't fully myself and I suspect that it has something to do with sorcery."

"You were enchanted by Morgause, to obey hers and mine every whim. She also incited you to be a fierce defender of magic users and enforce our laws." The queen answered. He was about to oppose her when she interrupted:

"She did it to ensure that a civil war wouldn't occur in Camelot. Everyone that she thought that had any power to influence others was dealt with. Mostly, she just enchanted them, molding their wills to obey our commands – at least that's what she told me."

"My lady, does that means that –"

"Yes, almost every lord is under her spell. But I bind her magic, so she can't change the original command."

"You must release them immediately!" He exclaimed.

"I'll do no such a thing. Haven't you heard me before? If I do so, I'm risking a civil war! We can't fight internally too! In the next months, it's possible that Camelot's soldiers must fight in four or more fronts!"

"My lady, I'm sure that some of the lords will be upset because you restored magic and your sister enchanted them, but I'm sure that we can convince them otherwise." He pleaded to her.

"Leon, think straight. Uther's prejudice has been imbued in those men minds for the last twenty-four years! Do you think that because this or that kingdom has declared war to us that automatically turn their loyalty to me, as their sovereign? I'm a woman, heirless and a witch to top it all – oh, and that isn't a self-deprecation statement, that's technically the word to categorize me, because I was born with magic and I'm a female. Tell me, Leon, what stops then to support another king or a charismatic noble in order to depose me? It happened before, Uther claimed the throne like this!"

He looked at her startled, noticing that she was making a lot of sense. Nevertheless, he still added:

"But Arthur –"

"My brother was always bound to big gestures that didn't solve anything. Surely, stop a harsh tax collection in public is a very popular measure, that makes everybody loves him, but in the end was ineffective. He couldn't change Uther's mind and the people still suffered, not that it was Arthur's fault, the king was enchanted by that Troll lady back then." She paused before continuing:

"What I'm doing or at least allowing, isn't correct in the perspective of the knights code's standards, nor in my own previous ones, but it's necessary. To oppose effectively our external threats, we must be internally stable or else the kingdom will fall apart."

"I'm sure that there are other ways to solve that problem, my queen. You are resorting to the very methods that made magic a fearful thing." The commander of the troops told her.

"Leon, I don't expect that you agree with me, nor admire, respect, like, trust or appreciate me in any way. What I demand of you is that you obey me, protect Camelot's people – including those with magic and their families – and, at last, express your true opinions about any subject. I am not the most well versed person in the arts of war, what I do know of it comes from the books I was able to smuggle and hide from Uther's view. Also, I don't need another mindless follower, that's basically what Morgause turned most of Camelot's nobility to." She said sincerely.

"My queen, I have sworn an oath to this kingdom. You are my sovereign, even though I don't agree with your methods. And I won't break my vows, I'll protect Camelot with my whole life, you can rest assured." Leon replied.

"Good. The content of this conversation is a private one, Leon. You mustn't divulge it to anyone, do you understand?" She told him, sternly.

"I do, your Highness." He opted for just answering that for the moment.

"So, now that we achieved an agreement, you are dismissed." She said and left the council room, walking towards her older sibling quarters. She had a lot of work to do, assessing Morgause's correspondence and later would pay her "beloved" sister a visit.

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**A/N: No more Emo Morgana for now? Yeah, I think that she has a lot in her hands, got plenty of work to do. She wants to be self-sufficient (not sure if that's the right word).**

**Seriously, only the first author's note was almost a new update! I have to stop that.**

**Meaning of the spell "Hæftinge" – fasten a lock.**

**And "Béo ábródene fram ænig diht" – be freed from any command**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**This chapter is a shorter one, because it was supposedly part of the previous one – but I hadn't finished writing it and had a considerable amount of words, so I just posted yesterday. Anyway, here it is! Trollgana and Trollgause, just the perfect siblings! **

**Thank you guys for reading, commenting, following and adding this fic to your favorites. Now answering reviews:**

**To larasmith: ha ha, that's a mystery, who knows? Of course she is better than Arthur, she can dress herself without help! That already tells us a lot about her. The more this fanfiction progresses, the more we'll know how she is awesome. She'll see Alvaar again, but she'll have in mind that he manipulated her.**

**To ladygoddess8: she'll deal with the nobles in a smart way. She freed Leon because an enchanted Leon is a silly faced ghoul one. She knows that he would only openly oppose her if a wild Arthur showed up. Yep, the external problems might take a while to be solved.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**At Camelot's Dungeons**

**Two days after Morgana's coronation**

Morgause was shackled to the prison's walls, while seated on top of the makeshift bed inside her cell. She was facing her sister, the queen, that had her guards bring a seat for her royal backside. The High Priestess faced her younger sister directing her a death glare, whereas the young queen looked at her with a wicked grin on her face. Morgana was the first to break the silence:

"Hello, dear sister" She said the last word hissing. "How did you like your new accommodation? Does it suit you?" Morgana asked in a mocking tone.

"Do not think that whatever you have planned will work! I'm a High Priestess! My faith is unshakeable! You're only wasting your time! I won't bend nor will tell you a word of my purposes!" Morgause answered defiantly.

"Oh, but that's not what is going to happen, Morgause. You'll sing like a bird, you shall answer every single one of my questions." The young queen smiled wickedly, because a smirk wasn't enough to fully express her excitement.

"As I told you, I won't bend, I won't broke and I'll never accept whatever belief that you exchanged our Goddesss for. You can kill me if you want, but now this: that isn't any different from that scoundrel of a father that you had." The blond-haired woman replied, with gritted teeth.

"And now you show your true colors! Where is all the love that you once said you felt towards me, Morgause? Did it vanished as quickly as your supposed loyalty to me?" Morgana asked.

Her sibling merely snorted, defiantly.

"As you refuse to talk to me, dear sister, I think that I should bring someone else to this conversation." Morgana told her, while pouting and placing her index finger on top of chin, mimicking a thoughtful expression, even turning her eyes to look at the roof. Then, she fisted her right hand, hitting slightly the palm of her left one and said:

"Ah, I know exactly who could help!" So the queen retrieved the poppet she used the previous night to enclosure her sibling's magic and spoke:

"Morgause, meet Dollgause!" The queen said, while shaking the doll to the other witch.

The High Priestess's eyes grew wide at the sight, but she promptly recomposed herself, maintaining an enraged expression.

"That'll never work! A poppet can't be used to compel someone to spill his or hers secrets!" The blonde-haired woman growled.

"Oh, but you forget something, Morgause." Morgana said while keeping a friendly tone, just to change it moments later: "I'm more powerful than you! I can easily break some of those useless magic laws!" The last sentences she spoke in an enraged tone.

"Shall we begin? Ready?" Morgana asked, sarcastically. Morgause only glared at her.

"Now, Morgause, tell me one thing: when you used me as a source for your sleeping spell, was it really harmless for those that where near me as you have told before, when you gave me the antidote?" Morgana asked, but her older sibling remained quiet, looking defiantly.

"Oh, we have to ask the other Morgause, huh? The nice one?" Morgana frowned her eyebrows in question.

"Ok, we'll do it your way." Morgana told her and chanted to the doll: "**ácwiðe mé**"

Morgause tried to fight the command and keep silent, but her sister's magic was stronger than hers, so she answered instead:

"It wasn't harmless … it was meant to cause a painful death to everyone in Camelot after a bit of time." Morgause replied, stifling in the words she said.

"I already like this Morgause better! She doesn't lie to me, does everything that I say and still has a lovely figure. She is even cute, with all that straw!" Morgana spoke, sarcastically and shaking the doll in front of her puffing sibling.

"Now, second and third questions: Since when was the bracelet enchanted to twist me and what were your reasons to do it?" Morgana inquired and before her sister opened her mouth to speak, she chanted at the poppet: "**ácwiðe mé sóþe**"

"I … it was … argh … before I challenged Arthur for the duel … at the Isle of the Blessed … I placed the enchantment and … concealed it" She replied between gasps, paused for a moment, still fighting the compelling spell and continued: "I … I did it … to gain your … undying … loyalty … as I said before!" The last sentence she yelled at her sister. Morgana wasn't even giving her a chance to answer before commanding, nor was trusting that she would answer with the truth, even though the only real secret she kept from her was the dammed spell in the amulet!

**_I_**_shouldn't have placed my hopes in you, Morgana!_ The High Priestess thought and snarled at the queen.

"Hum … so does it mean that you actually believed that I'd follow you blindly and, in the meantime, condemn to death everybody that I held dear, at least back then?" Morgana asked.

"Oh, not only I did believe, Morgana, I was right! You followed me around, all day, like a lost puppy when **I** saved you!" Morgause hissed and added, mockingly mimicking her sister's voice: "Sister, I feel so sad, I no longer desire to live. Sister, all of them would see me burn in a stake and feel rejoiced with my death, I'm so scared! Sister, the father of my children poisoned me, forcing me to abort them, but I am unable to kill that bastard with my own hands, can you do that for me?"

Morgana, in an access of fury, slapped her sister's face with so much strength that if her sibling wasn't shackled to the walls, she would have fallen on top of the bed. Her lip was bleeding by then. Dizzy from the hit, Morgause shook her head to clear the fog in her mind and once more said:

"Not so different from your dear father, huh? Uther Pendragon would be proud of you." The High Priestess said defiantly.

"You just answer my questions, Morgause, nothing more, nothing less." The queen told her sternly.

"What is your main goal?" Morgana inquired.

"You already know! To bring magic back to this land! The restore the Old Religion to its former glory!" Morgause replied promptly.

"If I set you free, will you harm me and Camelot's people in case I disagree with your views?" Morgana questioned her, giving her sibling a chance to spontaneously answer before she compelled her to.

"That's an idiotic question like all your others! What do you think, Morgana? Or being a whining spoiled princess most of your life has affected your wits?" Morgause spitted at her, but Morgana's magic diverted the spit's trajectory to the High Priestess face.

"You give me no choice." By then, Morgana sounded disappointed as she cast the spell:

"**ácwiðe mé sóþe**" And her sister was forced to answer:

"I wouldn't think twice before stepping on all of Camelot, you included, if that meant I would fulfill my sacred duty! I obey only the Triple-Goddess! Don't you ever think that **you,** or anything else, would **ever** stop me from pursing the achievement of the Goddess's will!" Morgause told her, rebelliously.

"I see …" Morgana told it in a frustrated tone, but immediately changed her demeanor and continued, being sassy: "That's it! I **do** prefer Dollgause in comparison to you!" She stood up from her seat while speaking: "Let's go, Dollgause, if we keep ourselves too much time close to her, we'll get her rabies! We don't want that, do we? You still have to help me ensure that magic is freely practiced in this land!" The queen announced to the poppet while leaving the cell.

Getting desperate, Morgause pleaded:

"Wait! What will happen to me? I am the last High Priestess of the Old Religion, Morgana! Even if we cannot see eye-to-eye with each other, you can't simple eliminate me and the knowledge I possess, because that would be a great strike against the Old Religion!"

"We'll see this later, sister." Morgana hissed. "For now, you can keep yourself comfortable here, in your new chambers."

Then, the queen left the dungeons, leaving behind her sister, the last High Priestess.

* * *

**At Lord Cygnus lands**

**Dawn of the third day after Morgana's coronation**

Lohengrin Cygnus was readying his horse to leave for the scouting mission. He and four loyal men and friends, Anwell, Bryce, Titus and Tuathal, were set to leave at the first ray of light, not wearing Camelot's or his father's coat of arms. They were supposed to pass for a normal group of travelers, not a small patrol.

As they set their possessions on their horses, an intense flash of light momentarily blinded that. When the group of men were able to see again, they noticed the Queen of Camelot herself appeared, standing still right in front of then. She was wearing a chainmail, had a sword and a shield with her, while her hair was fashioned in a bun.

For what seemed like an eternity, all five men just stood there, with their open mouths, looking at her dumbfounded.

She cleaned the dust from her armor before speaking to them:

"I'll need a horse too. I'll join you in this scouting mission." And she grinned at them.

Taking several seconds to process the situation, Sir Lohengrin, remembering to whom he was addressing – even though the shock of witnessing her Highness doing magic right before their eyes was still there –, ordered a servant to ready a mare for his liege and told her:

"My Queen! I didn't expect you here! My father sent me a bird to inform me of my assignment, but didn't mention that you'd join us!" He said, still dizzy due to the events.

"That's because I hadn't told him." She answered and approached him, until she was close enough to whisper so only he could hear: "It's our little secret."

"Forgive my insolence, your Highness, but is it wise to leave Camelot without its ruler and depart in such a dangerous mission?" The young lord inquired.

"Sir Lohengrin, I take a special interest in the success of your scouting operation. A failure isn't an option and there's more to it than merely assessing Lot's forces. So, for the good of Camelot, I insist in accompanying your party." She told him with a reassuring smile.

_As if I had a choice._ Sir Lohengrin thought to himself.

"Very well, my queen. My men and I are at your disposal." He bowed.

"Good."

After several minutes, the servant returned with a mare for Morgana. Lohengrin helped her mount the animal, them all the others too settled themselves on their horses. By then, the queen spoke:

"Shall we go?"

The men said a "yay" in unison and followed her lead.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Meaning of the speels:**

**"****ácwiðe mé" – imperative of the verb to tell. So basically she says: tell me.**

**"****ácwiðe mé sóþe" – same from above, only difference is that the last word means truly.**

**Next chapter we'll know more! Like theories and such things, but for now, that's all, folks! Don't know when I'll update. I like to surprise you! And if you could, please surprise me too, reviewing this fic!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**This chapter has a lot of theorizing about a lot of stuff and maybe it can be considered offensive for some religions (or maybe I'm just being paranoid). In any case, everything that it is written here is just … fiction, it doesn't have any religious motivation. If in any case you got offended because of this chapter, I apologize beforehand, that was certainly not my intention. I only write this fiction for fun, please don't take what it's written seriously.**

**Now that the warning was done, thank you all for keeping track of this fic, accompanying and reviewing it! Cookies to all of you! (but only electronic ones).**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**_Morgana's Dream_**

**_Second night of her reign_**

_Everything was white, as if someone had forgotten to add color to the world. She spun to see if there was something in that infinitude of pallid landscape, but all she could distinguish was that, somehow, she was stepping in a solid ground and it formed a horizontal line that was seemly endless. _

_Had she died and nobody warned her? Or could everything be a dream? If it was the second option, then it was definitely different from those she was used to, the ones that always have awaken her screaming or startled, leaving her too scared to sleep again._

_While she was spinning her clothing caught her attention. It was strangely half white – similar to the dress she used during the tournament – and half black – like the rags she Saw her other self wearing when they met the Cailleach._

_As she didn't have anything better to do, she decided to explore the place. She walked for what seemed an eternity, without finding anything. At one moment, she turned and was startled that a door suddenly materialized out of thin air. It was white, like the rest of that strange realm, but she distinguished the handle and the door's lines. She inspected it and its contours, bypassing the object in order to discover if there was something behind it. There wasn't, so she went back and stood in front of it. She gripped the doorknob and turned it, opening widely the door._

_She looked at a new scenario inside that entrance. It was a shore, with waves crashing on rocks and she could see that there was a small temple placed on top of a bench of land that stubbornly ventured against the sea. The sky was a bright blue, the sun shone intensely and the sounds of birds could be heard._

_She entered that new landscape, following the path that would drive her to the temple. It was a construction that had stone pillars, forming a circle, and no ceiling, just the columns and the stone floor. As she got closer, she noticed that there were people standing in the middle of it. When she recognized who they were, she ran towards them, with all the strength she could muster in her legs._

_As she finally reached her destination, she was panting. In front of her was Gorlois, her true father, holding two toddlers, one in each arm. They had raven hair, bright big eyes and their skin was extremely pale. Her eyes were immediately filled with tears when she looked at them. They were everything she desired to have back, but she knew that it was an impossible wish. _

_She raised her hands to touch the babies, their cheeks, their hair, their tiny hands. By then, the tears fell down her face, freely and uncontrolled. She sobbed like a child, her teardrops blurring her vision, even though she wanted to look at their eyes, their faces, imprint them in her memory and never let go. She embraced all of them at once, being careful not to stifle their breathing – even though she vaguely thought that they probably didn't need to breathe in the dream or the afterlife. Meanwhile, her father placed small kisses on top of her head, and she could feel his tears wetting her curls and front._

_She heard him say: "Hush, child, it's okay. We're here, we're not going anywhere else."_

_Once she calmed down a little, even if there were still tears falling through her eyes, she gazed at his dark brown eyes, the ones that could make all of her fears disappear. It was always him, he was the one that placated her when she had nightmares as a young child, the only one that truly made her feel at home._

_"__I'm proud of you, Morgana." He said and planted a kiss on top of her forehead._

_"__Whatever for, Papa? All I did lately was deceive, be manipulated and hurt those that were once dear to me, those that I would offer my life for without a second thought." She looked at his eyes with an incredulous expression. _

_"__I have such immense rage and bitterness inside of me … I was turning into a monster, someone that didn't care for anyone or anything else but to restore the Old Religion, magic and the one I once called sister. Everyone else was just a bump in the middle of the path. Even my best friend … I seriously considered having her burnt to a stake, just to avoid her from snatching what I thought was rightfully mine."_

_"__Yet you didn't do it. You chose to love and forgive what you thought they had wronged you. You opted for giving them the opportunity to be make their own decisions, to be free, you didn't interfere in that, although you caused their discoverer by Uther." He said while smiling to her._

_"__That one choice doesn't make up for all the terrible things I've done, nor the even worst that I would do. The truth is that I'm more similar to Uther that what I wanted to believe in … I'm a monster, just like he was." She sobbed at the last sentence. The dark side of her clothing grew wider while the light side receded._

_Meanwhile, the children raised their chubby hands and stroked her face, trying to soothe her. That made her break once more, falling to her knees and hiccupping incontrollable as more tears overflowed from her eyes._

_Gorlois put them down, on the floor, and enveloped Morgana on a thigh embrace, placing her head against his chest, while he spoke:_

_"__That's not true, daughter. Having the conscience of your flaws and wrongdoings proves that you're not him, you'll never be." He kissed her hair and continued: "When everything was pulling you into the darkness you chose light, even though the hatred grew in you as a decease – in part for reasons that were your own, but mostly due to other circumstances, to deception. Look at me, child." He pleaded._

_Morgana lifted her head so that she could gaze at his eyes. When their eyes met, he said:_

_"__You are not a monster, Morgana. You made mistakes because you were misguided, because you had no one else to trust, no one else gave you acceptance and the answers that you needed. You must hold only __**your**__ responsibility for your actions, not for others."_

_As he said that, the babies were encircled in a bright white light and suddenly were young adults, a boy and a girl, seated by her side. They both spoke, at the same time:_

_"__It's okay, Mother. You don't need to be afraid of yourself. We'll __**always**__ love you. __**Always**__." And each one kissed one of her cheeks. They stood up and said:_

_"__Meet us again, when we are reborn. We'll be waiting and praying for you." So, they walked outside the temple and disappeared when they left its limits. Morgana got desperate, but before she could do anything to stop them, they had already gone. _

_Sensing his daughter distress, Gorlois spoke once more:_

_"__Hush, Morgana, you'll find them again, when it's time." He patted her head and continued: "Now, you must listen, if you want to be whole again." He keep looking at her eyes, waiting for her reply._

_"__I … I have some questions too, Papa. There is so much that I didn't know. Even you lied to me, asking Gaius to drug me. Is there more that you didn't tell? Did you know that Uther was my father?" She asked, not concealing the hurt in her expression._

_"__I did what I thought it was right, what I thought that would protect you, daughter. We aren't always right, there is no guarantee that a parent won't wrong their children, even when they try to do the best they possible can to keep them safe." He said and held her face with both of his hands:_

_"__I'm sorry, Morgana, for lying to you. I did my best, it was all that I could do then. Please, forgive me, child." He said with a hoarse voice. She placed her right hand on top of his and caressed the back of his hand. _

_"__It's fine, Papa. It didn't even hurt me much, others were far worse than that. I forgive you." She told him while more tears formed in her eyes._

_"__When I was in the world of the living I didn't know that we didn't share the same blood. I only learned that when I left my shell and returned to the spiritual world." He said that without trace of anger or any abrasive emotion._

_"__You mean when you died?" She inquired._

_"__Yes, daughter. Death is only another journey. One back Home. The fear that comes with it is caused by ignorance and false believes. It isn't as if everything ceased existing with death, for the spirit is immortal. Nevertheless, a different trail must be followed. It's only painful because of the loved ones that we leave behind, but as we return Home our soul rejoice, as we were also parted from our kin while we lived our experience on the land of the living."_

_"__That isn't what you taught me when I was a child. Back then you professed the New Religion, as all the other knights and the king." She asked confused._

_"__Some people influence others so that they don't know the truth, because that makes them easier to be controlled. During the times of the Great Purge and beyond, it wasn't safe to openly follow any other religion – not that the Old Religion is flawless, either. Once more, I did what I had to do to keep you safe, that's my reason for teaching you things __**I**__ didn't believe in." He told her and paused briefly before continuing:_

_"__That talk is a long one. You must ask me whatever troubles you before we proceed. I'll answer with the truth as you deserve." He said solemnly._

_"__How can you consider me as your daughter, when you know that you haven't fathered me?" She asked even though she was afraid of his answer._

_"__Morgana, blood is only a detail, that isn't want truly bond us together. I loved you when you were still in your mother's womb. When I met you for the first time, that love only grew stronger. You became the center of my world, the light of my life. That can never change and it will never change, no matter how many eons pass. We'll always have this connection, because it is even prior to the life we shared. In other lives you were my daughter too, by blood back then, so it's impossible for me not to love you." He said it with furrowed brows, not expecting that she would make such question._

_Her tears were falling again and he once more embraced her, but this time he repositioned her so that she would be in a position similar to a baby held in an adult's arms. He rocked her for a while and said:_

_"__There is so much pain in your heart. So much hurt. You must let it go. It's okay, you're safe now, you can be yourself, nobody will judge you here."_

_She cried again in his arms, gasping for air sometimes, when her sobs were preventing the air from passing through her nostrils and lungs._

_When she could form words once more, while still nestled on his chest, she asked:_

_"__Did you loved my mother? Even with her indiscretions? You weren't Morgause's father either. Did you know that?" _

_"__Yes, I did, Morgana. With all my heart." Gorlois answered and smiled, remembering a found memory._

_"__Before we married, your mother was an initiate in the ways of the Old Religion. She was very talented, she was born with magic, and had the potential to be the Head of the Nine, the Senior High Priestess. We were friends during our childhood and parted ways when she joined the order. When we met again, a very strong love blossomed between us. Her tutor, one of the Nine, told us that we had a choice: live that love, but beware that dire consequences would follow that decision, or Vivienne would keep her duty and vows, and our suffering would be restrained to a lost unlived love." _

_He said those last sentences with a dreamy expression._

_"__We chose to be together, even though it would be painful. A month before we were married, I was sent to war and spent two years in the battlefields. While I was away, she was still influenced by the priestess. They Saw that Morgause would be born with strong magic abilities and, as I was away and was infertile, they commanded Vivienne to conceive her with my father. I think the rest you already know, Morgause was proclaimed dead and smuggled out of Camelot to be raised in the old ways."_

_He paused again, looking at her face to distinguish her reactions. She made an astonished face, and asked:_

_"__So Morgause is your sister? And why had they kept mother under their commands? Hadn't she chosen to be with you?"_

_"__Yes, she is my sister, as she still is yours." He replied, smiled and continued: "Even though she was no longer a priestess, your mother was still devoted to the Old Religion and that meant that she had to obey the express orders of the High Priestesses." _

_Then, Morgana looked at her father with pity in her eyes. She knew what it was not to have control over or a say regarding the actions of those she loved._

_"__Don't pity me, child. I was aware of Morgause existence, but didn't tell anyone else because we had a reputation to maintain. At first, I felt hurt that Vivienne had my own father give her a child, but in time, I could forgive it. Me, Vivienne and Ygraine used to visit Morgause before the Purge." He smiled as he remembered their time spent together._

_"__That was a secret that we kept from Uther. He never understood how I could continue to love your mother after that episode, but at least, while I was around, he acted as if he respected me."_

_"__Then, time went by and after eight years your mother and I couldn't conceive a child. When she got pregnant of you, I thought that a miracle had happened. I was never happier, I had all the future ahead of me and it seemed that nothing could go possible wrong again. You were born and I thought that we could be happy forever." He paused and smiled at her again._

_"__But that didn't last." Morgana said with sadness._

_"__No, it didn't. When Ygraine died and Uther commenced the Great Purge, Vivienne was one of the first accused of sorcery. She was known for her gifts, she had an extraordinary ability to use healing spells, she even accompanied the queen's labor, but was incapable of saving her life." He let the sadness be perceived in his voice and continued:_

_"__She was arrested and condemned to burn in a pyre. I begged Uther to release her, but he didn't listen to my pleas. So I met Vivienne at her cell, before the execution and pleaded for her to flee with you and me. She said she wouldn't do it, she refused to live a life in fear and drag us together. She said she was guilty enough for Morgause. So, instead, she made me promise her that I would raise and protect you in the best way that I could, that I wouldn't expose you to the fear of persecution. That was what I did."_

_Morgana looked into his eyes and sensed the resignation of her father. She didn't want to believe that he had actually given up her mother and followed Uther's every whim._

_"__Why father did you accepted? Why didn't you fight back? Why did you kept being friends with the man that killed your wife?" She asked skeptically._

_"__Because I still had much to lose. My world was already crumbling, but if I was caught fighting or opposing Uther, you wouldn't have no one else or worst, you would be raised solely by Uther – not that I knew back then. I couldn't risk that and I had promised your mother. I wouldn't break my promises. You were the only thing I had left in my life." He said and kissed her forehead._

_"__But … in the end … I was still left alone, without you, when you died. And I had to live with Uther as his ward, even though I was his daughter." She nuzzled her head in his chest again and said: "It was awful. It was nothing like home and I missed you so much. In the beginning only Arthur and Gaius could put up with me. Then Gwen came and I got more used to Uther, but It was never the same." She told him while her pouting was hidden from view as she pressed her face against his torso._

_"__I know, Morgana. But that was the choice that I made. The past cannot be changed, we can only continue to move on and try to be better persons. Many times we don't have control over our circumstances. What is left to do is live, not give up, because one day things will get better if you give our very best." He kissed her hair again._

_She moved her head once more to gaze at his eyes and said:_

_"__It's okay, Papa. I understand." She paused briefly and continued: "But I still don't know what to make of it all. Why do our lives have so much misery? Why did Uther succeeded in destroying an enormous amount of lives in his way? Why did I even cared for him, when all he slaughtered so many innocent lives and ruined entire families, cities, realms?" _

_"__It was fate, my child. Some believes call it karma, but in the end is all the same. The truth is that we are spiritual beings living a material existence. We do so in order to learn lessons, so that we can return for the unconditional love or paradise or whatever you want to call it." He said._

_"__Is someone's fate settled before they are born and it cannot be changed? I met my older self and she told me that I would have to choose many times between love and hate and depending on my choices, I could bring happiness or destruction to myself and those around me." She inquired._

_"__Fate is like a plan, one that is made before the soul is linked to a physical body. In that project for a lifetime, the spirit chooses which lessons he wants to learn. But it is possible to reject such plans. As we live in a world of duality, in which positivity and negativity coexist, many of those lessons are painful ones, but they are all chosen with our free will as spirits. We do so in order to fix previous mistakes, to understand how someone that we have wronged felt or to learn how to love ourselves and the others unconditionally." _

_"__So we all ask to be miserable?" She questioned him._

_"__No, Morgana. Being miserable, feeling as a victim is also a choice. Confronted with an adversity one can either mourn one's misadventures, feel sorry for oneself and be defeated immediately, or one can choose to overcome the challenge, do one's best and be at peace if didn't succeeded." He replied._

_"__So what am I supposed to do? Say to my enemies 'Hello, I'm Morgana Pendragon. Nice to meet you. If you want, you can strike me with all that you have and when you do, I'll gladly accept it, because I deserve it, but I will not fall until your are satisfied with the beating.'? How can that be a good thing?" She asked incredulous._

_"__That's not it, Morgana. First of all, there isn't a well-defined concept of good or evil. Something that is good for some can be considered evil for others. Imagine two different kingdoms fighting a war when both have just motives. Let's say that a dry occurred and they only have water supply for one of the realms, not both, and that water is located in their borders. If a general of one kingdom ensure the victory of his people with an well-planned and executed strategy, he'll be seen as a savior for his people whereas for the other people we'll be their executioner. So, as I said, what is good or evil depends of the personal opinions of the interlocutor." He looked at her._

_"__Another thing is that you don't have enemies. You merely have adversaries during your time among the living. Everyone comes from the same source of creation, so it is impossible to hate someone for all eternity. You can have quarrels that come from your interactions, those disaffections can remain for many lives, but one day you must forgive and accept each other, because we all come from the Font and will return to It someday." He told her._

_"__But that still doesn't explain what I'm supposed to do. Am I to fight them or not? Doesn't it mean that I'll bring suffering too? And what am I supposed to do with all the rage that I feel?" She inquired before adding snickering and turning serious again: "It won't easily go away and I'm sure that some of my actions will be based on it." _

_"__I told you that our world is one of duality. Good and evil, love and hate, light and darkness, and many others that in fact are a representation of positivity and negativity." He told her, pausing briefly. She nodded and he added:_

_"__Every time you forgive, heal, love, accept, show kindness and compassion, your actions are positive, meanwhile when you keep a grudge, hurt, hate, reject, offend and condemn, your actions are negative. You must understand that when your adversaries attack you, in order to keep those around you safe, you must strike back, but the force that you'll use must be the one needed to stop the treat, neither more nor less." She nodded once more and he kept talking:_

_"__When you planned your fate you did so together with others. As an enormous plan that could affect the very directions taken by the entire world, there were many paths to be taken in which some things were settled – as Gwen's and Arthur's relationship – and others weren't. As a group, you all chose to believe that unconditional love would triumph and that you'd all build a world of love, magic, freedom and acceptance." He paused once more as she looked at him expectantly. Gorlois proceeded saying:_

_"__But other forces were interfering with that fate. Those that desired the pursuit of their own selfish goals. The Great Dragon Kilgarrah, the one that speaks as the Triple Goddess to Morgause are only examples."_

_"__As you fell under their influence, the world's destiny was being defined as one without magic, settling a reality that suffocated it, tamed it and imprisoned the people, so they believe that they are most of the time powerless in front of the adversities or those that detain command and power."_

_"__Based on fear and ignorance, they were rebuilding the fabric of reality, setting in stone their truths and preventing those that could be a treat to gain notoriety, to explain that there is more in life than blind obedience, that is possible to provide for everyone's needs, that it doesn't diminishes the ruler's authority." He said solemnly. _

_"__They are almost succeeding, Morgana. The known world is almost completely devoid of magic. Eire and Albion are the remaining realms in which it can still roam freely. Everywhere else magic is so oppressed that it's extremely hard to practice." _

_"__Who are they, father?" Morgana asked._

_"__They answer by many names, but in short, they are those that fear magic and what it is. Those that demonize it in order to stop others from practicing it and changing their artificially made reality. Those are your most dangerous adversaries." _

_By then, Morgana finally seated facing Gorlois, withdrawing from his embrace and inquired him:_

_"__Why is that, father and what exactly is magic? During my time with Morgause she told me it was life itself. What is the truth?"_

_"__Those that seek to eliminate magic do so because they want control over other's lives, they want the power that comes from it." He replied the first question, paused and continued:_

_"__Understanding magic as life itself isn't wrong. Life creates many things and can also destroy. But I believe that magic is a creative power, has the essence of life in it, and can alter the presented reality according to its wielder desires. It is a gift learned in many incarnations, the stronger users are those that lived many lives in which they nurtured such abilities." He told her._

_"__You said you believe, not that it is the truth." Morgana pointed._

_"__Yes and many share this belief. You must also understand that another's truth might not be yours, even something that is true to you now might not be in ten years. You must search for your own truth, child."_

_"__That also applies to religious beliefs? Isn't there even a common point? How can you tell what is right or wrong?" She asked, sounding confused._

_"__You must understand that there are many paths to be taken – those can be understood as the many religions. As long as they led to unconditional love, they are neither right nor wrong, the one that you choose is just the option that best suits you."_

_She nodded and he continued:_

_"__Nevertheless, they can be used to plant fear and ignorance in the minds of their followers. That leads to hate and aggression, meaning that they bring negativity to those that believe in it, imprisoning them in misery, because none can actually be happy diminishing his equal or hurting others unjustly. At some point, they will feel the hollow in their souls as their behaviors are no longer consistent with their peace of mind."_

_"__So what about the Old Religion?" She questioned._

_"__The Old Religion also dictated a reality in which magic could be practiced. But as a creative power that can change any rules if you actually believe it – not with your mind, but with your heart – the strongest magic __**can**__ modify its norms and dogmas. What you've known of the Old Religion is only a dissident practice, because Morgause was led to believe in someone that eluded her, posing as the Triple Goddess. If you desire to know more about that religion you should ask the Druids, the Catha and the Disir." He replied._

_"__Fine, father, I will. But what about the New one?"_

_"__What they profess as the New Religion is a distortion of its initial inspiration. It uses of fear and ignorance to prevail over others, denying the very existence of magic." He said._

_"__So, Am I supposed to allow it, at least here in Camelot?" Morgana asked._

_"__You are the ruler of Camelot, daughter. You must find your own answers. What I can tell you is that if you want to show acceptance and hope, then letting them choose their own faith is required. Everybody must find the truth that better suits them." Gorlois replied._

_"__I understand, father. I was once asked which was my cause and I answered that it was to protect all of Camelot. After today, I'm sure that it isn't just that. With everything said I think that it must be to bring hope of a better place to live, in which everyone can be free as long as they respect the others and bear the responsibility of their own actions." At the final sentence she dropped her eyes to the floor, feeling shame because although she saying such words she hadn't made any amends for her wrongdoings. The sentinel that she killed, those that died due to her help during Cenred's invasion, the many times that she tried to have Arthur killed, the nobles that she had enchanted (even though she had to do it), her helping Morgause and Alvaar, and finally, but not less relevant, her participation in Uther's death. _

_Sensing her distress, Gorlois gently grabbed her face and lifted her head, so that they could keep eye contact, telling her:_

_"__I already told you Morgana. It wasn't all your fault. You cannot condemn yourself completely for that, neither can you assume that you're unworthy based on your past mistakes. You regret those decisions, if they bother you so much, then you must make amends. Visit those that suffered due to your actions and appease their pain. You may not be able to utterly fix what is broken, but you can make them functional again." He then kissed her forehead once more before he spoke:_

_"__Look at your dress, Morgana."_

_She complied and noticed that it was mostly white._

_"__When you first entered this place and let your emotions flow, it held a different color. You were so immersed in your pain and later on in your questions and my answers that you didn't realize that it had changed, right?" _

_"__Yes, father." She smiled genuinely at him. Patting her hair, he added:_

_"__As you stopped and listened your heart was filled with love, and it made the hate recede. But it is still there. As you entered this dream, in that white room, the bracelet's influences were undone so, from now on, every negative emotion that you feel will be your own." He told her. She furrowed her browns and asked:_

_"__Why? If you had such power why not just that everything away, father?"_

_"__I'm your guide for now, Morgana. I can point you which ways you can possible take, not decide for you what to do. As anyone else you must choose everyday between positivity and negativity, you must learn with your flaws in order to become a better person, that can easily connect with unconditional love." He told her._

_"__So I must find my own way." She said as an affirmation._

_"__Yes, Morgana. But you are not alone in this journey. You have people that love you, you just have to learn how to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted again. It'll be hard and you'll face many dreads, but you must have faith, in yourself, in those that are worth it and in the Universe."_

_She looked confused again, nevertheless decided to be silent._

_"__Use your magic whenever you need. Don't be afraid of it. Also, with time you'll perceive its full extents. For now that's all for this encounter. Remember to listen to your heart and those suggestions that seemly come out of nowhere. Don't trust them if they are an imposition or a prompt and unchangeable answer. If they come as an advice, a choice to be made, then you can rest assure that means that we, your guides, are talking to you." He said smiling_

_"__Look for the Druids tomorrow, for Iseldir. They are in Essetir, ask for their help and tell them what your cause is. Now you must face the day and ensure that magic can survive." He kissed her forehead once more and the images began to blur._

* * *

Morgana awoke in her new bedchambers, before dawn. She had enchanted a lace and tied it at her arm so that it would waken her when it was time to join Camelot's undercover patrol. She had decided to go long before her dream, but now she had even more reasons to do so.

Everything that her father told her was still resounding in her head. She had gathered all of Morgause's correspondence and discovered that at her sibling had contacted at least ten notorious magic users, so she would ask them about their views regarding magic, comparing their answers with what he told her.

With a redefined purpose, Morgana got ready for her journey, grabbing food and water, as well as asking Sefa to deliver a note for Leon.

* * *

**A/N: No magic spells this time, just a bunch of theories and such. More dreams will come and Gorlois will appear again. Next chapter follows Morgana and her patrol.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thank you dear readers for accompanying this story, following it, adding as a favorite and taking the time to review it. It's always nice to read what you're thinking about the fic so far, and until now no one cussed, so I guess I'm really happy about it (even if I had explored a theme that is delicate and I know it, so once more I ask for forgiveness if someone felt offended with the last chapter). Anyway, as I hadn't replied to any review last chapter, I'll do it now (I think I was just too much anxious, expecting to hide behind a wall to protect myself from internet rage).**

**So, to Stacy: Yes, Morgause's motivations were revealed and everything and maybe next chapter Morgana will definitely decree her sister's fate. Also, I laughed a lot while I wrote the doll part, and I guess it shows accurately how Morgana deals with her personality, she isn't her previous loving self (but I think she was really sarcastic even there) and neither her "I-want-them-all-dead" one, because that's too similar to Uther and she doesn't want that.**

**To Riy: thank you for reviewing every chapter, = ) . I think my Morgana is smarter, but I blame the bracelet, all those hits on her head and Morgause treating her as a lost puppy for her lack of brains from season 3 and on.**

**To larasmith: Morgause's fate will be known at the next chapter, so you'll have to wait a little longer. As for war and uniting Albion, I think it's more like war comes at her (that's when you miss having an immortal army that scares everyone to the bones) and she'll have to figure out a way to keep her kingdom safe. About your other questions, the next chapters will answer them, some will be on chapter 14, but not all. And thank you for reviewing every chapter.**

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**Chapter 13**

**Border between Essetir and Camelot**

**Three days after Morgana's coronation**

They were in a route, at the edge of the forest of Ascetir. The Queen was leading the group, riding in the furthermost position in front of the men, that rode in pairs, as the path was narrow.

"Do you think is wise to bring the … Queen … along, Lohengrin?" Titus asked his friend.

"No, I don't, Titus. But we are cannot go against her orders! She is our liege, even though she is a sorceress." Lohengrin whispered, so that his ruler wouldn't listen.

"Are you fine with that? I mean, she being a sorceress? Didn't we grow up listening stories about the evils that sorcery inflicts on this land? Wasn't your father one of the most trustful lord of King Uther because they shared the same notions about it? How can he accept her rule without question?" Titus asked his dark brow-haired friend.

"Look, Titus, I don't know! One day he was professing his hate towards sorcery and the other he simply woke up and said that we shouldn't persecute magic users, even if we had to ignore the king's orders." Lohengrin answered to his raven-haired friend.

"Don't you think that's strange? I mean, we know that she is a witch, she could've enchanted him. Don't you want to break the spell and release your father?" Titus asked once more.

"And then what? We are in the middle of a war! Prince Arthur is only God knows where! If we don't have a proper leader, we're easy prey for all the other kingdoms!" Lohengrin raised his voice when talking to his friend, but then corrected his mistake, whispering once more: "I might not be comfortable with our current situation, but at least, as I presume, I think our queen will strike Lot down with her sorcery and, right now, I don't think it's wise to antagonize her. She might hex us for our entire lives, if we keep living at all!" he groaned.

Both glanced at Morgana in order to determine if she had overheard their not so silent conversation, as she made no apparent moves to turn them into frogs, the two men eased the tension in their shoulders.

Meanwhile, the other men, Anwell, Bryce and Tuathal, respectively a blonde, a red-headed and a bald men, were glancing at their friends. Anwell, as a young man that had joined Lord Cygnus troops not more than a year ago, but showed great talent for fighting, was looking anxious at Titus and his lord; while Bryce, a more seasoned man that already had a beard, wife and three children waited patiently for the discussion to end, because he knew that some rulers could interpret that banter as treason and have their heads for that, but he was also aware that the young lord was a cautious man and would stop Titus inquiries; and, in the meantime, Tuathal, a muscular and tall soldier, directed an unamused face towards his two friends, though he lost his interest when he noticed that they had stopped arguing and changed his focus to their surroundings.

Suddenly, the queen halted her mare and raised her hand so that her companions would stop too. They all complied, staying close to her. She moved her other hand from the reins, fisting both hands and motioning them to her front while eight men flew from the woods and fell in the middle of their path, in a pile. Two were still holding a blowpipe in their hands, while the others lost whatever they possessed when her magic grabbed them. All of them were too dizzy or shocked to even try to fight back.

"Bandits!" Sir Lohengrin said, gritting his teeth and unsheathing his sword. His action was copied by the others, while Morgana kept a calm demeanor and spoke:

"There is no need for a fight, gentleman. Only two of them aren't unconscious, there is no way they'll resist, right, folks?" She inclined herself in the thugs direction while asking. Noticing their predicament, the bandits just shook their heads negatively.

"Good. Lohengrin, you and your men must tie them up." She turned her head and looked at her companions, that still held their mouths slightly open due to her magic display, except for the young noble, so she decided to add: "Please" and smiled gently, trying to calm their nerves.

As if out of a trance, the four soldiers jumped out of their horses and grabbed ropes, while the knight approached his queen and asked her:

"My lady, how did you knew that those bandits were hidden in the woods?" He inquired.

Looking attentively at their surrounds and making sure that the bandits were listening, she spoke:

"It is because I'm a Seer, Sir. I Saw our lovely encounter before it happened, so I prepared my warmest greetings to our guests!" She answered grinning and added: "You should help your men tie the unconscious ones to trees and bring the others to me. I desire to have a friendly chat with them." She told him.

After he inspected her expression to be sure that she was being serious and composing his demeanor again, he replied: "As you command."

The young noble also jumped off his horse and helped his underlings and friends. As he restrained the awoken bandits and drove them to his queen, she told them:

"Good men, I wish to ask you some questions: have you seen a group of Druids roaming through these woods?"

One of the thugs was trembling at her sight whereas the other glared at her, defiantly. The rebelling one spoke:

"I don't banter with witches nor Druids! Why don't you ask to one of your demon helpers? Isn't your kind close to the devil, witch whore?"

_Oh, I totally forgot that I could've just scried their location using the Crystal of Neahtid. _Morgana thought. By then it was already too late, so she would have to find them by the normal means and shut up the rude thug.

"Watch your tongue or I'll have it cut off!" Lohengrin threatened, already unsheathing his sword to make his point. The bandit glanced at him uneasy, but kept a defiant front. The other outlaw couldn't keep it to himself, being too afraid of Morgana, and answered: "We spotted Druids near caves by the east, our boss told us not to mess with them, because of their magic."

Morgana decided to keep a conversation with the one more willing to answer her questions, so she told him:

"Thank you for telling me politely." And she even gave him a little smile, which seemed to calm his nerves as his trembling decreased.

The other thug hissed at his comrade and shifted in his bonds, what urged Lohengrin to point his sword at him. That movement made the cussing man to stop, but he kept a death glare at Morgana and her companions.

The seer chanted at the rude thug: "**Swefn**". He fell asleep instantly.

"Now, my second question: "Have you spotted King Lot's army gathering around here?" The seer asked the friendly thug. He trembled again, seeing that his companion had just being bewitched, but concluded that it would be better not to keep the witch waiting:

"No, milady, I didn't." When he said so, he was more relaxed, even in his predicaments, and seemed to think hard to remember something before he spoke again: "But I think our boss might know about them. He had an agreement with King Cenred and I think he does too with King Lot, as they exchange favors. I can lead the way for you, lady witch." He said those last words tying to bow and sound polite.

_Have I gained his trust by praising him or is it just a trap settled for us? I don't think that it makes too much difference, I can easily strike down a group of bandits."_

"If you may point us the way, good man, we shall follow you. I desire to have a word with that boss of yours. Judging by your tools, I assume he is a slave trader, am I right?"

"Yes, lady witch, he is." And hesitated before continuing: "By helping you I can keep my life, right? You won't turn me into a toad if I do as you say, huh?"

Furrowing her eyebrows, she replied:

"Of course I won't kill nor curse you. I even gave your grumpy friend just a nap for his insults. Rest assure, young man, if you do as I say, you'll be freed by the end of the day."

That seemed to appease him, so he nodded to her.

"Titus, is that your name?" Morgana asked and the raven-haired man said "Yay" so she continued:

"Tie the grumpy one alongside the others and place our guide on your horse, please. You'll ride together."

He nodded and obeyed her command, tying the sleeping thug and mounting the other one on his ride. Then, Titus began to lead the companions through the road, as the bandit pointed the way.

Lohengrin approached the queen and whispered by her side, so no one could hear them: "My queen, why did you let that thug insult you and didn't defend your honor?" he questioned her.

"Sir Lohengrin, if I kill everyone that has ever or will tell offensive things to me, then Camelot's executioner won't have a day off." She looked at him, unamused. That surprised the young lord, as in his mind magic corrupted those that had it, turning them into beings that were unable of compassion or forgiveness.

"But … even as a noble, wasn't your pride hurt when he called you a … promiscuous woman?" He asked her, incredulous.

"Being offended and replying with anger is an option, Sir. Letting such petty man unsettle my emotions and make me question my self-worth is a stupid choice. Even if I had to keep face as a monarch, you promptly defended my honor, Sir Lohengrin, so hexing him or avenging my uprightness by killing him was an extreme act for a too small offense. That would only reinforce the belief that magic twists their wielders and turns them into monsters." She answered him, as he keep staring at her, with his mouth opened, as if she had grew another head.

For him, her response was totally unexpected. The more he heard of her reasoning and witnessed from her actions, the more he doubted his own beliefs that all sorcerers were evil, but again, he couldn't be completely sure, as she probably had enchanted his father and could have cast a spell on him too.

Regaining his demeanor, the young lord nodded affirmatively at her and remained silent for the rest of the path.

* * *

As they reached the bandits' lair, Morgana cast an area sleeping spell and all of the thugs fell, in a symphony of 'thuds'. The friendly outlaw pointed who was his boss as well as told them how to open the wells in which they kept the prisoners in. Thanking him, the queen told him:

"Good man, you can either remain here as a slave-trader or you can begin anew. I heard that in Camelot the new queen is accepting anyone in her realm, providing food, shelter and a decent work. If you are tired from this life, you can go there."

"I … I'm thankful for the advice, lady witch, but I don't think that Camelot is a safe place to be at the moment. Bringing magic back was a rushed decision taken by the queen, for its hatred is spread along the five kingdoms and sorcery is feared by the Saxons, Jutes and Angles too." And hesitantly, he added: "I hope that you find the Druids and discover more informations about Lot's army. I'll abandon this life, but will go home" And smiled at her in the end.

Once more, Sir Lohengrin whispered to her:

"Is it wise to let him go just like that? Doesn't he knows too much? What if Lot captures him?"

"Sir, there's nothing to worry about. All the others may know is that I asked them about the Druids, so that means he is the only one that remembers what we wanted. He and his leader, I guess. Once I finish asking about his involvement with Lot, then I'll erase his memory. As I leave for the Druids, you shall release the prisoners and spread the news: anyone that desires to begin anew has a place at Camelot." Morgana told him.

"But, what if he was lying? What if it was only a trick to let him go? What if he goes straight to Lot and tell him everything?" The young nobleman asked.

"I could sense that he wasn't lying, by his aura." She pointed as if that was the most normal explanation in the entire world.

Obviously, Sir Lohengrin was eying her suspiciously, not sure if she was being serious at all or just eccentric.

Sensing his confusion, she elaborated:

"A person's aura is the field of energy that surrounds someone all the time. It changes according to one's emotional state. Only those with a developed Sight can discern a person's aura. By reading his, I noticed that he was telling the truth, so I believed him." She said, nonchalantly. Right after that, ignoring his confusion.

The queen questioned the bandit's leader, making a poppet of him, so he wouldn't lie and making it easier to cast a spell to erase his memories of their encounter. She discovered that Essetir's king had mentioned something about selling Camelot's peasants for the slave-trader and that a large part of the army would cross the Forest of Ascetir, heading to the city of Camelot.

Satisfied with the answers, she put the thug boss to sleep and turned to the knight:

"You have prisoners to free, Lohengrin. Don't forget to pass my message. Also, keep your scouting mission, as well as appoint one of your soldiers to show the way to Camelot, only for those that desire to go there."

As if awoken from his stupor, the knight inquired her again:

"Once more I have to ask you, your Highness: is it wise to accept all sort of people in Camelot at this moment? Even that thug knows that war awaits us, and opening our borders to strangers is almost an invitation for assassins! Don't you fear for your life?" He asked incredulous.

"I have nothing to fear, Lohengrin. I already told you, I'm a Seer. I have visions of the future, I know what will happen. What I cannot do is condemn everyone to keep living a harsh life – many don't even choose where they are nor are free to be where they wanted to be – because some might attempt to kill me. If I do this, then I'll be depriving countless people to have a real chance to actually belong in this life. That I cannot do." She replied.

"I don't understand your reasoning, my queen. You have no obligation towards them, nor anyone else that isn't your subject! Why risk yourself for those them?" He couldn't comprehend her way of thinking.

"Because someone can only be called a true ruler if he or she acts based on her people's best interests. And my people isn't only those with magic or those from Camelot. Once, the borders weren't there, there was only the people of Albion. I still believe in this and I know that protecting Camelot alone won't be enough. Due to my choices, many will wage war against us, and the only option shall be conquer them."

She said, pausing once to decipher his expression regarding her motivations. Seeing that the young lord was beginning to understand her reasons, she proceeded:

"But only using force won't be enough. If I only do this, those that we defeat will fight everyday against our domain. So the only possible route is to conquer their hearts instead. Do you understand now, why we must accept everyone?" She asked him.

"Yes, I do, my queen. Please, forgive me for my impertinence. I shouldn't have questioned your decisions." He bowed, apologetic.

"It's fine, Lohengrin. You were just trying to protect Camelot's best interests." She reassured him, smiling gently at him, and for a moment the knight just gazed at her jade eyes in awe.

Promptly remembering what he was supposed to do, he bowed once more and said:

"If you excuse me, my liege, I shall do as you commanded."

He turned to obey her orders, but spun again to face her and asked:

"Will you go alone to meet the Druids? Isn't it dangerous, my lady?"

"As you could witness with your own eyes, I can take care of myself, Sir Lohengrin."

"Yes, my queen. Forgive me once more for questioning you."

"I can sense that you are concerned for my wellbeing, Sir. I take no offense for this." She casually told him and added: "I must depart now. I assume your mare knows her way back home, am I right?"

"Yes, she does." He answered.

"So, after I finish my business with the Druids, I shall release her or ask for one of them to return the animal to you. If for some reason she isn't delivered safe and sound, Camelot's coffers will repay you for her." So, she told her farewells to the group of men and headed to the indicated location of the Druids.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Meaning of the spells:**

**Swefn – sleep (imperative). **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thank you dear readers for accompanying this story, following it, adding as a favorite and taking the time to review it. **

**Special thanks to my sole reviewer larasmith, for keeping up with this story and actually reviewing every chapter. Seriously, you don't know how it's important to me and how it makes me happy to read your comments, and know (hope) that they'll be there at every chapter (no pressure though).**

**To larasmith:**

**About the review in chapter 12 - Leon and Morgana will talk about this, but I don't think you'll like her decision. About her babies, she can either see them, like in a vision or something else, who knows? She'll institute something similar to a Welfare state and soon.**

**Review in chapter 13 - I've sent you a P.M. because I had forgotten to answer here, sorry. She's an expert in winning hearts, she certainly won mine, even her evil self (even though many disagree with this, I think that one of Merlin's series most heartbreaking moments is the face she does when she's hit by that cyclone in episode 4x06, Katie McGrath is an excellent actress, no doubt, she made most of the watchers to actually pity and forgive** **her character as a villan, at least that's what I think**).** I think my answer to Arthur's and Morgana's dispute will be unexpected, but there will be hints along the story.**

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**Chapter 14**

**At the Druids' cave**

**Three days after Morgana's coronation**

Queen Morgana dismounted her horse, tying the animal to a nearby tree. She entered the humid cave and chanted a spell – "**Léoht**" – and a small blue orb of light appeared at her palm.

The cave had signs of being inhabited, but no one was at sight. Deciding that it'd be easier to gain their trust with she stated who she was first, she spoke:

"I'm Morgana Pendragon, Queen of Camelot. I seek the elder druid and desire to parley with him." After a brief pause, she added: "I come in peace. I don't wish to harm anyone." And she unsheathed her sword, sticking its edge at the ground.

For a moment, everything was quiet. Then, one by one, druids came out of their hiding place and a man with grey hair spoke:

"I'm Iseldir, Druid elder, and I already know what you seek. You desire the Cup of Life, don't you, Pendragon queen?"

_So, that's what father sent me here for, well at least partially. The power of life and death – wait how do I know that? Oh, probably by the same way I'm conveniently educated about everything else, old owl Morgana. _Morgana thought.

"It's not the only thing that I wish to discuss and bring back to Camelot with me. You may be aware that Camelot's magic ban has been lifted." As she said that, some of the presents gasped and muttered to one another.

She decided to ignore and kept going:

"Everyone that desires to live in my kingdom and practice magic freely is welcomed, in fact we cherish every magic wielder, because the land and its people has many needs, that could be easily provided with magic." She paused briefly and then addressed their elder:

"Iseldir, it is an honor to meet you. As leaders, we must discuss important subjects privately. I have many favors to ask of you and your people."

"To us, Druids, everyone is equal, the elders don't keep secrets from our people. If you wish to speak with me, you can do it right here and now."

"Very well, I want your help in order to make Camelot safe for magic and common folk alike. For that, I need the Cup of Life and every other magical artifact in your possession, as well as direct assistance in the wars that will come upon the land." She stated, as a matter of fact.

"Before I, as Elder, give you our answer, answer me this: for what cause are you fighting for?" He inquired.

"I desire to bring freedom to this land. But freedom with responsibility. I wish that everyone can be free to seek their heart's desires, without hurting others in the process, having or not the gift of magic. For that to happen, I must struggle to mold our land so that it can be one in which they can be free; and being so means that nobody fools anybody so that they make wrong choices; that no one prohibits another of loving who they love; that none can demand from another blind obedience, one that usurps one's right over one's own life choices; nor will condemn to death someone for being born in a way. That's what I believe that means to be free."

"If what you say is the truth, does it means that you'll ask of us to fight for this freedom?" He raised his eyebrows as he questioned her.

"No, I merely wish that you, the Druids, help me by placing wards at the Camelot's villages along the border with Essetir. Later, I want your help to discuss how magic shall be regulated within my reign. As it is a subject that concerns all magic users, it isn't correct of me to impose you all my views about it." She answered promptly.

"You seek to establish many changes, Morgana Pendragon. How can we be sure you won't lose track of your goals when you have all of Albion at your feet?"

"I don't desire to conquer all the land of Albion. I just wish for peace and a safe haven in Camelot. If I can avoid it, I won't wage war against the neighbor kingdoms, but I'm not allowed to let them take my realm by force, nor destroy everything that I've been working for. I want a place of acceptance and I shall defend it with all my strength. As for power, I'm sure you must have felt my magic surging everywhere. If I wanted, I could eliminate of my 'enemies' with it, kill everyone that opposes me, nevertheless I don't. Isn't that proof enough?." She inquired.

"You haven't had the time to do so. All we know is that the ancient prophecies state that it's your fate to bring darkness to this land, to fight against the once and future king."

"Is there only one fate? Only one prophecy? For what I have experienced, the future has many opportunities, nothing is set in stone. Maybe some fates seem stronger than others, more likely to happen, but even those can fail."

"You speak with a wisdom that isn't only yours, is it?"

"I was advised by someone really dear to me. Someone that pushed me off an unending abyss that I was lured into falling."

"Is it so? Then, you won't mind answering a question: what is magic?"

"I believe that magic is a creative power that has the essence of life in it, and can alter the presented reality according to its wielder's desires. Some call it life itself, others call it the demon's work, to me magic just is. It can be used for good of for the bad, but as any power, the difference resides in what it's wielder do with that choice."

"You even respond more than what was asked. Why so?"

"So that you can understand that I tell the truth. The prophecies may tell about my powers or my allegiances, but they never describe how that future comes to pass, I suppose?" She raised her eyebrows waiting for his reply. He merely shook his head negatively, so she proceeded:

"By fear, ignorance, pain and betrayal. That's what I'll use my magic to fight against." She paused, continuing right after:

"Some may perceive my actions as evil, as they lose wars, men and riches clashing with my kingdom, others may see my doings as good, as they are able to live and openly be just who they are. I cannot promise I won't take lives in my quest, nor that I'll eradicate all the pain and suffering in this land, but every day I'll try. For all of this to succeed, I need your assistance, especially by teaching healing magic, placing wards and spreading the words of Camelot's new goal."

"I'm impressed, Queen Morgana. But still, I have one last question: for what do you seek the Cup of Life?"

"To make sure that those that make of Camelot their home won't starve. I'm aware that if you use pixie dust along with water in it, the mixture can restore burnt, poisoned and depredated fields. Those that wage war against my realm will destroy our crops and I can't be at all places at once to protect the land. Also, having the Cup will save many lives, as using pixie dust can heal everyone that isn't dead yet."

"It is a fine answer. But what about its other ability?"

"As I told you, my intention is for my people to be free. I won't imprison them in a life as mindless ghouls, even if that could provide me an immortal army." She said, raising her chin. By then she was getting irritated that everyone seemed to distrust her, but kept a stoic expression, her chin lifting being the only indication of her agitation.

"So you show that you come here with good intentions. You haven't threatened any of our members, you haven't left any question unanswered. For now, I can't conceive any reasons not to do as you ask." He them tilted his head to hear the mind whispers of the rest of the community, and all of them seemed to agree with him. A contagious enthusiasm took over most of the druids, for it had been a long time since the liberty to practice magic without fear of persecution could be achieved. Their last big surprise and source of hope had been Emrys, at least when they discovered that he was incarnated again.

Morgana heard their conversation, not that she could help with it, there were so many voices at once that she was amazed how they could even get a consensus over anything, but they did. They decided to help her restoring magic and protecting Camelot. By then, the kingdom had become a promised land for all Druids, surely many would spread the good news to other groups and that thought made Morgana almost let a smile split through her stoic expression, almost.

Finally, when he achieved unanimity – which didn't take long – Iseldir required silence in their mind speech, and voiced their decision to Morgana:

"We've chosen to give you a vote of faith." After he said that, a young boy walked in his direction, holding something enveloped in a piece of cloth. Iseldir proceeded: "Here is the Cup of Live, use it wisely."

"I will." The queen bowed as she took the artifact.

All the druids bowed to her too and for a moment she was confused, even frowning, but swiftly unwrinkled her forehead to remain impassive. As she didn't inquired them about that action, Iseldir spoke:

"Please, Queen Morgana Pendragon, tell us where we must find your supporters to assist Camelot's people."

"At Lord Cygnus estate, that is west from here, half a day journey on foot, it's faster if by horseback, but I assume that you don't have enough horses with you."

"No, we do not."

She nodded and said:

"If any of you has trouble walking, there's a horse outside that belongs to Cygnus. I was supposed to send her back, I thought of using magic to assure its safe return, but I assume that it could benefit you both if you shared the same path."

"Certainly this is no coincidence. One of our older ones is having difficulties to move her legs, your help is providential." He told her.

She nodded and was saying her farewells when Iseldir asked one more question:

"Where shall we gather to discuss magic's future?"

"Right after Camelot isn't threatened by Essetir's forces." The queen replied.

"Seems reasonable, we shall wait for further instructions at Cygnus's estate."

"Then, farewell Iseldir. Until we meet again." She extended her hand

He took it in a handshake.

"Until we meet again, Morgana Pendragon."

She left the cave and chanted:

"**Astýre mé þurfan íc gáde to áfæran**!"

And she disappeared in a bright flash of light.

* * *

**Back at Camelot**

**Throne Room**

Many peasants were kneeling in front of the throne. The majority was shackled, whereas some were tied with ropes, as there weren't enough manacles for them all.

The queen was seated at the throne, wearing the crown and a purple gown, made of velvet, as well as many jewelry, and had her hair fashioned in an intricate fashion, with hairclips similar to small butterflies.

Her voice was regal when she spoke:

"Which one of you calls himself the leader? Whom might I address to know your complaints?" Morgana inquired the crowd.

A bald and bearded man, wearing plain leather trousers, gray wool shirt, battered boots and with his face dirtied – partially due to the night in prison, part caused by the confusion that ensued when the guards began arresting those there were rioting in the middle of the square – stood up and spoke, showing his yellowed teeth:

"I am. I am the one that started to gather those unhappy with your reign, **your highness**." He said the last two words with obvious scorn on his tone of voice. She remained indifferent, so he kept going:

"You don't even wait for your father's corpse to lose its warmth! You scorn and destroy his lifetime work! You join your devil's spawn of a sister to bring sorcery to this God aligned realm! You commit heresy and expect us to sit and do nothing? You may have lured the nobles and the knights using their lust against them, bedding every single one so that they obey your every whim, but you won't fool us, **DEVIL'S WHORE**!" He then spit in her direction, but as it was too much afar from Morgana, so no actual harm was done.

The distinctive sound of many sword being unsheathed was heard across the room. The queen raised a hand to stop her many knights to perpetually shut up her offender. So, she replied to his trashing:

"If I were to maintain Uther's work, all of you would have lost your heads by now, for treason against the crown." She told, without anger in her voice, just stating it calmly. Some of the arrested civilians gulped, knowing that she was right and unable to truly discern if she as fierce as the previous king.

"But I'm not him. In fact I pity you, because you are a prisoner of your own ignorance and irrational fear." She leaned forward in her seat, studying the man's expression. He was still defiantly, but certainly part of his bravery was no longer there as he contemplated the thought of imminent death or something even worse, as she was a witch and they don't have hearts, they are unable to forgive, at least in his ignorant mind.

"Though, I cannot allow you or your … friends … to go unpunished for your transgression." She told them, pausing before continuing:

"Camelot's law states that there are different penalties for rioting, depending on the reason for it. In this case, you rebel against your monarch for an inherent characteristic and a higher law. The penalty for that is death." She raised her fist to support her chin on it, still calm. The crowd gasped, surprised. Certainly, they didn't expect to be condemned to death, they were so many, just fighting for what was right. By then, the bald man's face fell and he was obviously not prepared to face those consequences and worse, drag an uncountable number of citizens along.

"But …" As Morgana said that, half of the room held their breaths, waiting for her judgment. She continued: "Camelot's most ancient law states that its ruler can utilize equity to pass a judgment. As they used to say '_ex aequo_'"

Those that were holding their breathe exhaled in relief, but their "leader" wasn't so reassured. The queen raised her chin, lacing her fingers on top of her lap and told them:

"So, as your ruler, I sentence you to be set free under the condition of never again revolting against magic's liberation law, nor harming another magic user, physically or verbally, and if you commit any of those offenses, your penalty shall be to watch the death of all those that are dear to you. And if you don't have anyone that you love, you'll be sentenced to life in prison until you understand the value of life and freedom."

Many nobles clapped their hands at awe directed to their queen. Part of the mass of rioters was shocked with that sentence, but most of them were reluctantly glad for keeping their lives. She was right, if they had rebelled against Uther, by then their heads would adorn the city walls, not that those with sorcery could be considered humans. At least, their queen wasn't as bad as she could have been, harsh, indeed, but still merciful. The soldiers took the prisoners outside as Morgana ordered then to wait for Geoffrey of Mormont, so that the old scrivener could gather the final informations about the peasant's parentage that wasn't collected the previous night.

In the throne room, Morgana discussed more state affairs with her advisors.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Meaning of spells:**

**"****Léoht" – light **

**Astýre mé þurfan íc gáde to áfæran – guide me to where I desire to go**

**Other expressions in foreign language: "**_ex aequo_**" – ****According to equity**

**Guess I'll try to correct the previous chapters' grammar the next time I publish a new chapter, but that isn't certain. Next chapter, more scrying and possible a battle. And maybe do a longer chapter too.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC**

**A/N: So, I have more followers and more favorites on my story, so thanks to you all for that. To my silent readers, please, review this story, I'd really like to know what you think about my fiction so far, reading your reviews motivates me to keep writing, so I beg you, please let me hear (read in fact) your opinions. Oh, I have proofread my previous chapters up to the 8****th****, so, if anyone desires to read it again because they make more sense now, be free to do so. **

**To larasmith – it will take some time before the people actually accept magic back. There are those that are celebrating and everything, but there are still many people afraid of it. We'll find both of them around. Of course Morgana will have a plan to change their views concerning magic, and it'll be shown at some point. About Merlin, Arthur and Gwen, I'll write their pov in chapter 17. Certainly Morgana's story was taking most of the spotlight here, because she has a lot on her hands now. **

**Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter, = D.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**At Camelot**

**The queen's study**

**Third day after Morgana's Coronation – Nighttime**

Morgana was reading Morgause's correspondence again, while taking notes on a logbook about the magic users that her sibling had contacted, their answers, their origin and how powerful they were – that last information was taken from her sister's personal journal. She had to keep track of them and know beforehanded who she could not exactly trust, but designate to discuss magic's future on her kingdom.

Counting the possible members of magic's governmental rules first council, she had reached a number of ten persons, as herself, Iseldir and Gaius weren't included at first and not all the sorcerers that Morgause had written to.

In another book, she was tracing her proposal for such meeting, as she had enchanted a feather to write down her ideas. After she was done with it, she would look inside the Crystal of Neahtid again, to see if Lot's troops had changed their marching route.

She was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. Stooping her activities and resting the feathers on the quill, she said: "Enter".

Sir Leon opened the door, bowing and saying "Your Highness", entering the room and closing the door, speaking: "My queen, I desire to have a word with you."

"You may speak, Sir Leon." She promptly replied.

"A bird came from Lord Cygnus's estate, with information about Lot's army. Here." He retrieved a letter from inside his cape, where he had kept it was a mystery for the queen, as those knight capes had no internal pocket, or so she thought. She took it from his hand and read it. The scouts had discovered a little less than what she had seen through the Crystal, but it was good enough. At least she could keep its existence a secret – well, only for the time she kept Morgause in prison, she guessed.

Clearing his throat to gain her attention, Leon asked:

"So, what are the news? How many men are we fighting?"

"35,000" She answered nonchalantly.

"What?! They have 15,000 more than last time Cenred invaded! How did Lot gathered that a number in such a short amount of time?" Leon questioned.

"Probably mercenaries, I think he called some of his Saxon friends, but that isn't what truly concern me. It's how he disguised someone to look like Morgause."

"How are you so certain that it wasn't your sister that killed Cenred, my queen?"

"Because prior to her imprisonment, she confided in me that her plan was to change how the common folk saw magic. Assassinating a monarch with such an obvious display wouldn't be coherent with her goals, so it wasn't her. But, obviously, whoever did this has the gift and is against us, sided with Lot." She explained.

"Oh, I see." He replied and paused a bit, clearing his throat again before proceeding: "My queen, about magic … when will you release the other nobles from your sister's enchantment?" He inquired.

"Leon, I've already told you that if I do so, we can face civil war." She replied, to which he seemed disappointed, so she added, as she had thought of doing before: "But if it disturbs you so much, take this, it's a list of all the enchanted nobles. You must know most of them, I want you to do a report, analyzing which are most susceptible to support Camelot's new laws. I promise you that'll consider their fate as promptly as I can."

"Yes, my queen." He bowed again, satisfied with her answer, for now.

"And … what about your brother? Will you search for him? I'm sure that his presence would bring more political stability to the realm. He's one of the best swordsman in all of Albion."

"Leon, for now we must focus on this offensive. Other subjects shall be dealt later, alright? We must discuss our defensive strategy for the time being."

"Yes, my liege." The knight replied.

"Letting them roam free through Camelot will cause too much damage. An army this large won't let the villages nor the smaller fortresses unharmed. Even if the citadel can resist a prolonged siege, the rest of the realm will burn by the time we gain a definitive victory against Lot." She stated.

"Yes, my queen, but our numbers cannot compare with his, at least not the ones we have assembled near the city or close to the borders. Calling all our armies will take too much time and leave the other borders unprotected. It will be the same as an invitation for Caerleon to swoop in and plunder the western land." He told her.

"We don't need more men, Sir Leon. Their army will march through the Forest of Ascetir. He'll take the fasted and shortest path, Lot desires to catch us unprepared. We'll ambush them there." She spoke, stoically.

"But my liege, even with the tree's cover, I'm not sure if we can manage to strike such a large army at once. For that to happen, we'd have to keep hidden there for days, not to count that that maneuver isn't our soldier's strongest point –" He was interrupted by Morgana, that said:

"They don't need to have much proficiency in blending with the forest, nor it's necessary to confront every single man of Lot's army. We just need a convenient mist to conceal us and strike the commanders, the highest ranked knights and King Lot himself. After that, a joined display of magic and well positioned archers shall deal with the stray soldiers."

It innerved him, how she was able to speak about those life and death subjects without a single ounce of any feeling in her blank expression. Uther demonstrated rage whenever Camelot's enemies were brought up, but Morgana didn't. It was as if her strategy was never to show how she truly felt, as if it would make her indecipherable, to friend and foe alike. Or she just acted like that because she didn't trust him? Well, Leon couldn't tell if **she** was trustworthy, so he thought that the feeling was mutual.

"Leon, you must go to every tanner in the lower city tomorrow. Buy any leather they have and commission from them leather straps, half for attach to a regular soldier's arm and half to be able to confection googles, in a size sufficient to fit most of our soldier's heads. Also, go to the glassmaker and commission a mold for googles, with holes for fastening the straps and plenty of melted sand. They must deliver the required items until the following day, in fact the glassmaker must do so tomorrow morning. When you have gathered what I request, send word for me immediately, at the man's shop if a change in temperature might affect the quality of the glass made." She told him.

"Yes, your Highness." He promptly replied.

"Their payment shall come from the royal coffers, when they finish the job." She added.

"Queen Morgana, if I might ask, your spending with non-military expenses is significantly higher than King Uther's, yet you have decreased our taxes rates. How can this possible be maintained?" He questioned.

"I have my secrets, Leon. For the time being, it's better, for your safety also, that you don't know much about how things really work. It's already a big risk to tell you about our military strategy for now, not that it shall remain a secret for long. What I mean is that I'm protecting you doing this. Or else, you'd be a target for Camelot's enemies." At the end she smiled weakly, he wasn't sure whatever for, as he wasn't one of her mindless worshippers. Knowing that the best course of action for now would be complying to her requests and later investigating the better solution to all this "queen-morgana-bringing-back-magic-while-her-brother-was-banished" dilemma later, he simple answered:

"As you wish, my queen" And bowed once more, adding: "If you don't have another request, I won't take more of your time and leave, if you desire."

"That'll be all, Sir Leon. You may go." She replied, with a commanding tone, that changed to a softer one when she continued: "Have a good night."

He was surprised when he for a moment glimpsed her old self in that sentence and blushed a bit, like a teenager would. He was beginning to think that all that was left of her, since the king's death, was this cold persona with a beautiful speech of acceptance while her methods were rotten ones, so to show him – someone she stated clearly that she's have no qualms to show her worst side as she knew he'd do anything to protect the kingdom – such gentleness was completely unnecessary. So, maybe, he was wrong, maybe magic itself didn't corrupt people. And certainly, having a powerful sorceress – well, for her confidence she must be exceptionally strong with her magic – at their side couldn't harm.

As he closed the door, he bowed again, and replied: "To you too, my queen."

She nodded and he left her alone, inside the study, going to his own manor within the citadel.

* * *

Another knock on her study's door and she answered again with an "enter". Gaius came in the chamber, closing its door behind him. He then bowed and spoke:

"You've summoned me, my queen. I'm here."

"Yes, Gaius, I need to know if you are close to finish your tasks." She told him, without moving her sight from the book she was reading, that seemed to be a journal in fact.

"The work is made with a good rhythm, as you've send so many servants to help me. I believe that the day after tomorrow all the poultices shall be ready, and the kits will be ready to be distributed tomorrow at this time."

"Good." She replied, without looking at him.

"Is that all, my queen?"

"No, Gaius." This time she lifted her head to stablish eye contact. "I'm aware that you're fond of a healer called Alice. I remember that you were arrested while taking the blame for her attempt of murder against Uther."

"That is true, my queen."

"Morgause has contacted her and Alice has send a letter answering my sibling's request. She is to arrive in Camelot tomorrow." Morgana told him.

Gaius smiled, but soon changed his expression, not knowing what Morgana would want Alice to do. He wasn't sure if she was evil or not, but one thing was certain: she wouldn't easily give up being queen just for Arthur's sake, so the Once and Future King destiny, with magic being freed, could possibly not come true due to her. At the same time, the young seer had professed a desire to protect Camelot and the magical folk, even restoring magic, the only question left unanswered was at what cost.

Ignoring Gaius's reactions, the queen proceeded:

"She'll stay with you, in your quarters. After we win the first battle against Lot, I want you both to take part in a council, one that will discuss magic's future here in Camelot." She stated.

The old man was taken by surprise with her last remark. Two days ago she didn't even want to talk to him and now she'd listen to his advice? Was this some sort of trick? So, the physician spoke:

"I don't understand, my queen. I thought you didn't want to hear whatever I'd say and now –" He was interrupted by her:

"It's not like I have forgiven you, Gaius. You lied to me my entire life, but we don't know what Uther would do if he had found out I had magic. He could have drowned me or burnt me or chopped my head off, for all we know his hate for magic knew no limits." She paused, sighing before saying: "So, in part I'm thankful to you, for keeping me safe." He was beginning to smile at her recognition that his actions haven't only harmed her, when she added:

"But you keeping secrets have caused me more pain that I can possible forgive. Yet, I still have a duty to fulfill, both to Camelot and to all magic users in Albion." By then, the little joy he had felt for her previous words had vanished.

"You are a reasonable man, to the point that your prudence turns into cowardice at some occasions. I know it, I have read the Great Purge records. Tell me, Gaius, how many magic wielders had turned to dark magic once they began to be slaughtered like cattle?" The last sentence wasn't impassive as her previous ones, she let a little bit of her rage show at it.

He lowered his head, felling guilty again. By aiding Uther, in order to save his own skin, in fact to help Alice's escape, he had let many lose their lives due to the king's mournful quest. He knew that if he were in their shoes, he'd probably use any means he possible had to survive. So, in the end, even though he knew dark magic was a terrible thing, caused an unjustly high amount of pain to the sorcerer's victims, he didn't utterly blame those that had used it to escape persecution. He was aware that some of them were led to believe they were invincible, that other's lives were unimportant, that the power that came from magic corrupted them, as it has been for many years prior to magic's ban, but he also knew that they were only trying to be allowed to live. Classifying everyone that were adept of the dark art as evil, or those that threatened Uther's reign as well, was what truly let him sleep at night. He also had sacrificed his happiness because of the Dragon's words. Kilgharrah had told him about the Once and Future King prophecy too, and that he also had to help that destiny to come true. So everything that stood in the way of that fate, he immediately considered evil, even if it meant that he'd have to harm or incite the harm of a little girl that he watched grow and become a brave young woman, only to be left bitter in a throne that didn't belong to her.

Noticing that he was lost on his own thoughts, Morgana waited for him to look at her again, letting him not answer her previous question, she sighed and continued:

"As a ruler I cannot let my emotions dictate all of my actions. Yes, I still dislike you, but if I want magic to succeed and be openly practiced, I need your help in stablishing some rules, so its usage doesn't turn into something out of control, so that the power hungry people don't have the instruments to harm those that are against them or simply had the bad luck to irritate them." She was with her stoic expression again.

Gaius was confused by then, frowning. How could Morgana change so much in merely two days? Was it the shock of discovering that she was always being manipulated or lied to? Or was it all an act, to gain his trust so that it'd be easier to get rid of him later? How much did she actually know?

"I don't expect you to believe me, but even though my speech at the first day was mostly Morgause's words, I do desire to reestablish magic with peace. In order to do so, all magic users must be responsible for their actions, if they harm someone, they shall be punished, not by death, of course. Other course of action is not to allow those that would obviously be destructive to themselves and to others to learn dark magic."

She was actually sounding as a good and just monarch, that cared for the wellbeing of **all **of her subjects, but he was still unsure. The only way to actually assess her true intentions would be to take part of this meeting and wait to see if she'd follow the consensual guidelines for magic, or if she'd just do as she wanted, like her father before her.

"Can I count on you, Gaius, to be one of Camelot's emissaries?" She asked, not sh owing if she was anxiously waiting for his answer.

"Yes, my queen, I'll take part on it."

"Good" was her reply. Lately, that seemed to be the only praise that she knew of. She added:

"After this battle, I want you and Alice to train inexperienced magic users, basically on healing spells, minor stunning ones, wards and scrying."

The old man lifted one of his eyebrows and asked her:

"Whatever for, your Highness?"

For a moment her rebellious part was tempted to say 'none of your business', but she knew that doing that would only prove it to him that she was merely a troublesome child, playing of being queen, so, instead, she answered:

"To ensure magic's presence and Camelot's crown too, in every corner of this land. If we have sorcerers and sorceresses with such abilities in the countryside, many deaths can be avoided by simple healing spells. It's for the general welfare."

He seemed satisfied with her answer. Also, he'd be the one, together with Alice, to educate those magic users and limiting their knowledge wasn't an unreasonable request, as it was too soon to judge the character of everyone that had magic in Camelot, not counting the refugees that would come to the realm once the news were spread.

"I understand, my queen." He replied, bowing and excusing himself out of the study.

When he closed the door, Morgana sighed, taking another look at her logbook. She had finished her planning, so she'd add another entry in her personal journal, the one she had enchanted to seem blank to anyone that wasn't her.

She wrote down the events of the day, going to the border, finding and talking to the Druids, her judgment concerning the peasant's riots, then her conversations with Gaius and Leon, and also her plans concerning the general tracings of the kingdom she wanted to build. It included the creation of magic schools, the development of technologies that used both science and magic, everything to turn Camelot in a really prosper realm, and, of course, new means to defend her people against invasions. As she thought about everything and her enchanted feather wrote everything down, the queen placed her objects in their respective place, she went back to her chamber. She had finally thought about what to do with Morgause, but first, she'd ask her father about it, so she got ready to bed, using her magic to undress herself, brush her hair and put her nightgown for that evening, falling asleep right after she closed her eyes.

* * *

_Morgana's dream_

_She was back at the small temple, this time she was already in its center, wearing a grey tunic. Her father was waiting for her, smiling and wearing a white tunic. She hugged him right away, feeling relieved that their previous encounter wouldn't be their last. He seemed to sense her thoughts, because he promptly parted their embrace to look at her face, tenderly placing his hands on her jaws and making her gaze at him._

_"__Morgana, calm down. I won't go anywhere." His voice was gently, trying to sooth her anxiety._

_"__I wasn't sure, Papa, I feared I'd never see you again." _

_"__I wouldn't break another promise to you, my child." He said tenderly._

_"__I know, father, it's just … today was a tough day. I'm not sure if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, I don't know if I'm too harsh or too soft." She said, frowning._

_"__You have to trust in yourself, Morgana. You have a good heart. I know that you did your best and that's what counts. You don't need my approval, you need to be able to live with your conscience by the end of the day" He replied, smiling encouragingly to her._

_She nuzzled her head at his chest and asked:_

_"__But I can still have you comfort me by the end of the day?" _

_He giggled and answered: "Of course, daughter." Then, he placed a kiss at her hair._

_She distanced herself from him, so that they could talk, and said:_

_"__I retrieved the Cup or Life from the Druids. But I think that wasn't all the knowledge I should seek from them, right?"_

_"__Indeed, I wanted you to ask them about their view concerning the Old Religion and more." He replied. He paused and caressed one of her cheeks while speaking:_

_"__I want you to hear the different opinions about it before condemning something as evil. You must know that the religion you choose is merely the path to find your own spirituality and your connection to the Source of all creation."_

_"__But there is more, isn't it?" Morgana asked._

_"__Yes, you'll have to follow many principles of the Old Religion, as well as practice many rites, to ensure that magic is restored to Albion. You'll have to formally declare your belief in their precepts." Gorlois told her._

_"__But doing so I'll acquire a lot of rejection to my rule."_

_"__Morgana, you can't possible please everyone. The best you can do is let people free to choose their faith and how they will react to those that don't share the same belief. What you cannot do is force then to follow this or that religion." Her father told her._

_"__I understand." She paused briefly before continuing: "Nevertheless, I came here to ask you for an advice. I want your opinion about Morgause's fate. I'm thinking of making her choose between a perpetual pact or death with she doesn't agree." Her father furrowed his brows hearing her, but nodded, knowing that those were probably the best options for Morgana. He spoke, nonetheless:_

_"__You should also ask the Disir court. Morgause's fate should be decided by them. They know everything that happens, but are only allowed to speak about the case they're judging." _

_"__But they are aligned with the Old Religion, what if they share the same belief as her?" She inquired._

_"__They don't Morgana, and I think that their decision won't be much different from yours. But the repercussions of you passing judgment on a High Priestess can somehow be negative to your cause." He added._

_"__Fine, father, I'll do as you say."_

_And for the rest of the dream, she enjoyed her time with her long lost father, trying to make her heart a little more lighter than it was then._

* * *

**A/N: Seems like everyone is paranoiac in my story, people just won't easily believe in others, always being suspicious. **

**Anyway, no spells today due to my laziness, ha ha. One thing that I really like write and I think is canon, it's how Morgana is at the same time that badass muthefackkaaa and that fragile scared little girl. It makes her one of the most relatable character in a series – even if she is became a bloodthirsty vengeance moved lady. I like how she's both strong and weak, but mostly suck up her frail side and fight till her last breathe for what she wants. That can be seen as obsessive behavior, but surely that is one of the things that makes her stand out. Also, I was reading some personality analysis, the MENTI model, together with a post on Tumblr saying that Morgana is an ENFP personality believing in the wrong cause. Basically, those people think and act like heroes do, defending big causes and also gaining a lot of followers in the way. She is kind of that at the first two seasons and them Merlin poisons her and … well, you already know. What she believes is the right think isn't completely. I think everybody was expecting magic to be brought back and the one that was actually closer to do so was Morgana, that's the truth. Of course that at that point she didn't care about who was going to die, how many soldiers, civilians, animals, once friends and loved ones (with the exception of Aithusa and Mordred) would die for that. I blame Uther, Morgause and Merlin for what she became, but, obviously, it was still her choice to keep doing what her sister wanted of her (if we assume that she wasn't actually brainwashed by Morgause or else it was really impossible for her to change her actions). **


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC**

**A/N: So, thank you everybody for following and/or adding this story as favorite, well, for reading it in fact. Guess that last chapter, in the author notes, I kind of scared you with my request, so I'm sorry, that won't happen again. **

**My special thanks to larasmith for always reviewing every chapter, only you deserve electronic cookies, haha. I'm glad that you perceive Gorlois as a good man, that's how I tried to write him. I think that before the poisoning, Morgana was one of the most compassionate persons in Camelot, she wasn't as good as Gwen – because she was in another level of character evolution in season 1 –, but she stood or what was right, no matter what, and we loved her for that. Then in season 2 she discovers her magic, and she's constantly scared. I think that because of her fear she is an easy prey for the likes of Alvaar and Morgause. She was taught her whole life that people with magic are dangerous, monsters, of course she doesn't agree at everything that Uther says, but when her magic is out of control and she has no idea of what to do, being afraid that her lack of control can harm herself and her friends, she freaks out. And yes, I think that the story would be A LOT different if Merlin had told her and taught her how to control her gifts. In the end, he knew her, he was aware that she was not only a good person, but also one of the bravest, kindest, most extraordinary people that he had found. But instead of believing in her, he trusted the dragon's and Gaius's words, he probably thought that they knew better at some point.**

**About your second question, she is trying to not be like him, that means impulsive. When Uther is challenged, his first reaction is to strike back, be angry or something like that, much like Arthur's too. That is the main characteristic of the Pendragons, in my opinion. If she wants to be different from him, them, she'll try to think first instead of acting. Another trait from Uther might be the coldness towards others and in that case, she won't actually try to change that, in fact, that's kind of her defense mechanism in the moment.**

**And your last question is about what would she do if she could go back in time, well, it would certainly be not agree with Morgause in episode 2x12. **

**That's it, or the author's note will be bigger than the actual chapter**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Forest of Ascetir**

**Near the city of Camelot**

**Seventh day after Morgana's coronation**

The mists covered the surroundings, making it impossible to see beyond a palm ahead of one's eyes. King Lot rode his horse at the head of the horde, followed closely by a hooded figure. The only sounds that could be heard were the ones made by birds, announcing the dawning of a new day.

Unknown to Essetir's troops, hidden behind the trees were Camelot's men and its queen, waiting for the right moment to swoop in and win a battle that would forever be told by the bards as the first of many during Morgana's reign.

It was a cold morning, the sunlight almost couldn't breach the blur caused by the thick mist, so to everyone that didn't have special googles, seeing anything at all was impracticable.

The young queen turned the leather bracelet attached to her arm, causing it to lightly vibrate along with those straps hidden under her men armor. That was the signal to begin their attack.

The sound of bolts cutting through the air, as well as pain screams from those there were hit, together with thuds from bodies hitting the ground, filled the area.

King Lot's horse neighed loudly, rearing up on its hind legs, and the king struggled to keep in control of the animal. The hooded figure stood even closer to Lot, sensing that he would soon be targeted.

Still hidden by the mist, Morgana chanted a spell, directing it to Lot:

"**Forbærne! Ácwele!**"

And a fireball was cast towards him, but in the last minute, the king fell from his horse, as the fire blast passed without hitting any living thing, and the hooded figure jumped by his side, chanting another spell, disappearing with Lot in a purple smoke:

"**Bedyrne ús! Astýre ús þanonweard!**"

Morgana was about to take a look at the Crystal of Neahtid, that was in her pocket, when she glanced around the battleground and saw that Essetir's men were throwing acid at their proximity, in an attempt to harm their assailants, actually hitting some of Camelot's soldiers and their own companions in the process, mostly the latters, as not many of her soldiers were combating the invasors closely.

She had to stop that madness, so she twisted her bracelet again to other position, sending an order for her men to stay away from the enemies and chanted:

"**Tæfle!**"

And the first row of Essetir's army was thrown on the ground, most being knocked unconscious, while others kept screaming due to the damage dealt by the acid. To those, she directed another spell:

"**Swefe nu!**"

Shouts were still heard from her own soldiers and from the other rows of the invading army. Morgana did her best to assess the damage done to her men and massively healed those that were hit by the acid. That certainly would decrease their loses and numbers were extremely important for the time being. Once she was finished, she went to the following rows, striking Lot's soldiers that hadn't yet fell victim to bolts or the effects of their own attack, but mostly knocking them out, displaying her magic openly to her army.

The battle didn't take much longer to end, even though the sizes of the armies were tremendous, as Morgana was using her powers to ensure Camelot's victory while minimizing their loses, Camelot clearly had the upper hand. She twisted her own bracelet to another position, giving a new order to her men, to evaluate which of their adversaries where still alive, wounded or dead, accepting the surrender of those that dropped their weapons, separating them from the harmed ones and the deceased. She had to act quickly if she wanted to avoid more unnecessary deaths that day, so chasing after Lot would have to be done another day.

When all the fighting actually ended, it was near midday. By then, the fog dissipated at her command, and Sir Leon approached her and spoke:

"My queen, we achieved victory today! And the best, we had less than one hundred loses!" He told her smiling.

"What about Lot's army?" She asked, seemly stoic, but her heart was clenching, thinking about all those lives she ordered to be reaped.

"Half of their troops have perished due to our bolts or their own suicide attack. The rear troops fled back to Essetir, in complete despair, as they numbered ten thousand men, this leaves 7,500 men still alive for the moment. The number of wounded corresponds to half of the living, but I'm afraid that more will die before getting proper treatment." He stated.

"Assemble their injured ones, Leon. I'll heal them." She told him.

"But, my queen, they are the enemies!" He exclaimed, before adding: "And only half of them, there is already more than 3,000, are an incredible high amount of prisoners to take!" He objected.

"Yes, Sir Leon, but I can't simply let them die!" This time she let her calm façade split, breathing deeply to recompose herself before adding: "Don't worry about the prisoners. I have already asked help from a powerful sorcerer to reform one of the ruined castles around this forest. We'll use their carts to transport them there." She stated.

"My liege it isn't only a matter of space. There's the food, the men designated to guard them, the medical resources spent with them! Keeping them inside the kingdom will prompt Lot to charge wherever they are held! This will constantly threaten our borders!" He exclaimed once more. "Please, queen Morgana, see reason here. We cannot possibly afford to be merciful to them. At the first opportunity they have, they'll slit our throats!"

"Leon, it doesn't have to be like this. They can join our cause. If this happens, we can take Essetir for good." She told him calmly and continued: "By showing them mercy we prove to everyone that we are better than Lot, that those with the gift aren't evil. We have the chance here to gain the allegiance of Essetir's people, making it easier to overthrow Lot. I know my decision will benefit Camelot more, Leon. Just trust my reasoning."

"I understand, my queen." We bowed, keeping his head lowered, then said: "Forgive my exaggerated reaction, I just didn't know of your motives to spare them."

"It's fine, Leon. You were only concerned for Camelot's welfare." She paused briefly before keep going: "Also, tell the men to retrieve the armor's from the bodies, taking our fallen back to Camelot immediately, assessing the provisions from our adversaries' carts and burn the dead outside of the forest, near the border with Essetir. When all the war gears are retrieved from them, send word to me right away."

Leon bowed again, saying: "As you command, my queen." And left her to do as ordered.

She mentally contacted Alice, Gaius, Ruadan, Alathor, Finna, Ari, Aelhaearn and Breanna, so that they could assist her with that task. By the end of the afternoon, all of them were exhausted, having spent most of their energy performing magic, only stopping to eat something.

As Morgana had required, armors and weapons were separated in a pile, being put in carts from Camelot, as the queen had ordered, as well as part of the provisions from Lot's army.

Leon was ordering the prisoners in lines, so they could be escorted to the castle of Calhoun, a previously abandoned fortress, north of the Darkling woods, where the river divides in two. Whoever was responsible for taking the prisoners there would have a two day-long journey ahead, already counting the slow pace that the wounded would dictate.

Another knight was responsible for coordinating the placing of the dead on other carts, while a large pile of wood was already waiting to be lighted near the border, so that the deceased would have a proper funeral instead of being left to rot within the woods, or having their corpses eaten by ravens and wolves.

Leon found Morgana in the battlefields again and spoke:

"My queen, all the tasks were accomplished. As we speak, Camelot's carts return to the citadel bringing the war gear, and the carts with the dead are already departing to the big pyre that awaits them. Only instructions regarding the prisoners are still necessary."

"Well done, Leon. Inform Sir Geraint that he'll be responsible for escorting the prisoners and will supervise their stay in the realm." She paused before continuing: "Also, tell him to choose five hundred soldiers to take with him. Ruadan and Ari will accompany him in the journey."

After her display of magical power, the presence of other warlocks would certainly intimidate anyone that had the stupid idea of attempting to escape, that and the fact that all the survivors will be tied to a fellow prisoner during the entire way.

As the night fell upon them, Camelot's main army returned to the citadel, bringing back the victorious queen and the majority of its members back home.

* * *

**Camelot's Castle**

**Main Hall**

A feast was taking place in celebration of the victory against Essetir's troops. Cheerful music filled the entire hall, the men and women were drinking, dancing and laughing loudly, content with such a definitive victory. Obviously their fear for magic hadn't ceased to exist, but after that grand demonstration of military superiority against Lot's army, the people was certainly more receptive for the idea of an all-powerful magical sovereign that would protect them. What most hadn't noticed was that magic itself wasn't the only responsible for their victory, in fact, it was the whole set of circumstances that had allowed such triumph.

For the time being, Morgana was seated at the head of the long table of the hall, wearing a blue gown, without make-up and with her hair parted on the side. She was drinking some wine and smiling weakly for those that started conversation with her, as the queen was supposed to do. By her right side, Sir Leon was enthusiastically telling the nearest nobles how Morgana had knocked out an entire row of enemies while a single movement of her hand.

_He certainly doesn't seem so scared of magic anymore. _The young queen thought to herself, while observing the first knight. She glanced at the entire hall. Her people was celebrating as if they had won the war, but she knew that it was only the beginning.

Lot had someone with magic by his side, not that only one magic user would be enough to ensure his triumph, but would certainly slow the end of the war. The worst part was that she needed to win immediately, or else the other kingdoms would be discouraged to wage war against Camelot. Certainly that rapid victory would make them think twice before declaring war, nevertheless, it wasn't enough to ensure peace.

She'd have to wait for their reactions, as well as make sure that trading treaties, especially with Mercia for the food, would be signed.

As Morgana was lost in her own thoughts, a guard addressed her, notifying her that messengers from Gawant, Nemeth and Mercia had arrived.

"Tell them that I'll speak with them tomorrow. Inform them that they're invited to join the festivities if they desire." She said to him, nodding to him as he bowed and proceed to do as he was told.

Morgana raised her hand and Sefa quickly came to ask what her mistress's wish was.

"Sefa, make sure that we have three guest rooms ready for the recently arrived emissaries." The young girl curtsied and responded:

"Yes, m'lady."

"Also, when you're done with it, and after informing more servants about which rooms are prepared, return to the main hall and enjoy yourself a little. That's an order." Morgana grinned at the end.

Sefa smiled brightly, bowed once more, spinning so fast that she almost hit another servant that was bringing more meat for the guests, apologized for her own clumsiness and promptly got out of the main hall.

The feast went on for much longer, so Morgana excused herself before the end, saying that she was too tired from the previous battle.

As she went to her new bedchambers, she looked through one of the Castle's windows and saw that the streets were still illuminated and the people outside were still celebrating their victory. At that moment, even though she felt guilty for all those lives lost that day, at least she had secured many others, protecting the dream of seeing magic freely practiced, even if she had to stablish some rules, in Camelot. Certainly, it was a cause worth to fight for, along with her goal of providing people a safe haven for everyone that was tired of having to be miserable. She had announced her decision – the one of accepting everyone that desired to begin anew in Camelot – at the fourth day of her reign. With rumors about the war at their doorstep, not many refugees had come to the realm, but, certainly, that would change.

Tomorrow she had a busy day ahead of her. She had to deal with the emissaries, visit the families of her soldiers that lost their lives in the previous battle and assure them that she won't forlorn them. She had already decided to implant a wage for those families that lost their husbands, sons and fathers while serving Camelot and herself. That was the least that she could do to make sure that they wouldn't have to starve or overwork themselves in order to survive.

She walked some more steps and reached her bedchamber. She magically took her dress off, putting her nightdress on, as well as disposing of her jewelry and brushing her hair at the same time. She always loved how she could do everything with her magic. Still using it, she opened a drawer from her bedside table and grabbed her journal, taking a seat at the table near the mirror, magically placing a quill and ink on top of the table's surface.

She wrote about the events of the day. Once she had finished, she read about the events that had occurred in the previous four days.

Five of her sister's contacts – Alice, Alathor of the Catha, Ari from the Druids, Aelhaearn, a warlock of the Disir court, and finally Breanna, a witch from Éire, that came riding a flying broom as if it was the most natural thing to do – had arrived and accepted to discuss a regulation for magic. As they were victorious and Lot would take some time to reassemble his forces, she was thinking of setting that meeting for the next week, at the Isle of the Blessed.

She only had to actually give Morgause a decisive answer about her future, because she still kept her sister's magic locked and her at a modified guest room, as the dungeons would probably be used to accommodate other people.

As most of her time was spent making preparations for today's battle, Morgana didn't even had the opportunity to tell Morgause about what she had decided to do.

So basically, the young queen still had a lot of things to do, such as: take her sister to trial; change the nobles enchantment for her own before taking Morgause to court; after that discuss the future of magic in the realm; do her best to decrease the possibility of other kingdoms declaring war against Camelot; secure trade agreements, specially to ensure enough food for everyone that decides to call her kingdom home; also, increasing the transmutation of stray to gold, with the stone of Magi; and last, enchanting the armors and weapons that she had gathered from Lot's army, sell them cheaply to Aligned, so that he'll probably sell them to Odin, Caerleon or even Lot himself, so she'll another trick up her sleeve when facing them.

One thing was certain, she'd have a lot to do these following days, never more her tasks would resume to merely sitting somewhere and being pretty, while awaiting for her sister, her brother or Uther to actually do something of importance. Even though she wasn't exactly thrilled at the begging, even more if you consider all the tough decisions she has to make, being queen was something that suited her and she wasn't exactly hating it.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Meaning of the spells: **

**"****Forbærne! Ácwele!" – Fire! Destroy!**

**"****Bedyrne ús! Astýre ús þanonweard!" – Conceal us! Guide us away from here!**

**"****Tæfle!" – Throw [them like] dice!**

**"****Swefe nu!" – Now send to sleep!**

**So, this is a Mergana story and the closest to it we have is a dream that is in fact a memory? I know that I'm taking too long to write an actual encounter of them both, it hasn't happened in like what, sixteen chapters! In fact, I'm building your expectations and this isn't a lame apology for not having the main couple meet (discreetly tries to do the jedi mind trick, but it fails due to lack of jedi powers). The good (or bad thing for others) is that I think this will be one of those monstrously long stories with 60 or more chapters, so they'll meet and interact at some point, it'll only take long as I lose track of the main plot a lot to introduce small conversations. So, have patience, readers, don't quit this story just because at sometimes it seems to dwell on insignificant occurrences, if I remember them all, they'll matter by the end. Hope that you can keep enjoying this fic. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**I thank everybody that keeps track of this humble story and find in your hearts the goodness to appreciate it. My sincere thanks!**

**So, it has been like what, eight chapters without Merlin, Arthur and Gwen? Yeah, my excuse for that is that I plan to do a spin-off telling their adventures (just don't know when), but anyway, here comes a chapter with them! **

**Now to replying to reviews (omg last chapter has got twoooooooo, it's been like forever that this has happened!).**

**To larasmith – once again, I'm really thankful to you for always reviewing this story and keeping track of it, you have a special place in my heart (it sounded kind of creepy, but that's in a good way). I always thought that a rage free Morgana would be a better sovereign than Uther and Arthur because: (i) she is a smarter cookie than the other Pendragons; (ii) she could come up with intricate plans as well as fast decisions by her own, even if her plans were extremely complex and that led to a lot of possibilities to be thwarted (guess it she got it from Morgause, I think it was a prerequisite to apply to a High Priestess job); (iii) she was more preoccupied to do what she thought it was right (not that it necessarily was) than to follow in someone else's footsteps like Arthur. In short, yeah, and Merlin helping her, telling her about the "once and future" prophecy would probably make her help them and don't befall under Morgause's influence. And the last question: an enchantment not necessarily makes an object stronger or gives it a buff, it can do quite the opposite.**

**To Cain – thank you for the compliments, I'm glad that you've enjoyed my story so far, = D. I've already began this commentary giving a lame excuse for not having Merlin in the spotlight for like forever, I guess. Arthur's, Morgana's, Merlin's, well, everybody's destinies has changed when Morgana chose love instead of hate. I don't believe in the Dragon's words, if this show wasn't for kids, we would be the true villain in the story, I think that I've mentioned before how he only tells Merlin parts of his destinies and, for some fishy reason, conveniently when it's about to happen the way HE wants it. I think that one of the biggest example is the events of episode 5x05, I was completely "Merlin, wtf? That's what you wanted, man! Arthur restoring magic! Anyway, once it's done, you can deal with Mordred later (or actually try to talk with him instead of plotting his demise). I was pissed, I admit, Merlin had to be redeemed and reminded of his true purpose in episode 5x10, so he could be the hero of the story again. Seriously, in season 5 HE wasn't so different from Morgana, it seemed that as SHE got darker, so did he. Even Gaius, that was a cautious man, which means he wouldn't risk his neck for just anyone, that had watched many perish without doing nothing, was more proactive and able to forgive than Merlin. And I totally ranted instead of answering. I guess my notes will make a complete story too, by the time it's done. I blame the mojo jojo syndrome in me.**

**So, in short, you have to keep track here, it'll be completely different, but similar to the legends. Morgana will remain as sole queen for some months or more time, it depends.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**In a forest, somewhere at Gallia**

**Same timeline of Camelot**

"Are we close, Arthur?" Merlin asked his friend.

"Noooo, Merlin, for the fifteenth time, we still have an hour or so following this path." The former prince answered, grumpily.

"I think I'm having motion sickness, I need to stop." Gwen said, halting her horse. Her husband did the same, promptly jumping out of his own to help her getting down. As he did so, his friend grabbed the animal's rein, immediately inquiring:

"Are you ok, Gwen?"

The one who replied was his worried friend, taking that opportunity to relieve some of the concern he was directing to his wife's condition:

"No, Merlin, you were so annoying today that you actually gave her a stomach ache! I'm certain that if you keep your mouth shut for a few minutes she'll be better in no time." Arthur mocked him and Gwen said nothing as she was too busy throwing up at the edge of the road. Her husband flinched for a second, feeling a little bit of disgust, but swiftly changed his demeanor, not to upset his beloved.

"Is she vomiting?"

"Oh, Merlin, congratulations, you have eyes! For a moment I thought that you used your ears to see and that was why you couldn't help but bump into things!" Arthur exclaimed.

"Arthur, you were able to actually make a joke! Oh, no, that's a sign of the world's end, it's in the prophecies! Prince Arthur's brain is showing an indication that's not completely useless –"

"Boys, can you stop?!" Gwen interrupted him, and continued: "Your bickering isn't helping!" she snapped.

Lately, the sweet Guinevere had been having unexplainable mood swings, had been picky about food and even craving for certain things. As Merlin had spent a long time following Gaius as the old physician visited his patients, the warlock was suspecting that their friend's love might have already borne fruits, but he hadn't investigated it deeply, as he had been trying, unsuccessfully, to contact Kilgharrah for days, without receiving any kind of answer. Also, without the proper apparatus and tools, he couldn't be completely sure, as he still hadn't mastered the ways of detecting a pregnancy in early stages. He knew the symptoms, but still, it could be a wild guess, as he wasn't completely certain of his medical abilities. Though, he could use his magic instead, obviously when both of his friends were asleep.

"Merlin, Meeerrrrlin!" Arthur almost shouted, taking the warlock out of his reverie.

"Yes, sire?" The raven-haired man gave him the automatic response for when he wasn't listening.

"Did you hear what I was saying?" The blonde man inquired.

"Something about stopping for a bit?" Merlin had been improving the art of deducing how Arthur thought for the last four years, so it wasn't as if the prat could actually catch him when he was in his own mind, far away from prattish beings and reality.

"So you've been really listening! I'm impressed!"

"Boys …" Gwen warned that she wasn't in the mood for their small disputes, and as they've doing recently, the "do-not-vex-Gwen" silent rule was in full operation, so both of them complied. The males assessed her expression, making sure that they could continue their conversation, this time forgetting their usual bickering. As she was too occupied making a nauseous face, they decided to keep talking:

"As I was saying, Guinevere is currently unwell, so we'll take a break for now. Do us a favor, Merlin, go look for water, she'll need it." This time, Arthur showed how much he was worried about his wife, actually requesting nicely for Merlin to do something. Understanding his friends' predicament, the young warlock complied, without making any funny remarks, as he too was concerned for her wellbeing.

So, Merlin strolled through the woods, chanting a simple spell in order to enhance his vision, magically. By doing so, he was able to find a spring in no time. He quickly went towards its direction.

When he got there, a hooded figure, probably just another passer, was crouched near the steam, also collecting water. The stranger suddenly turned when the young warlock approached. Merlin saw that his face was half-burned, his eyes were dark, while he his hair was red, and heard with his mind the man's whisper: _Emrys_.

Merlin was alert, thinking to himself: _Morgana has finally sent an assassin, that's it! I'll be cautious and try to extract information from him_. So, he decided to project: _Who are you? How do you know who I am?_

_I'm a Druid, Emrys. I came from Tirmatur, were the Old Religion has attained a better place in secrecy, at least afar from Albion. My name is Adair, it's a pleasure to meet you._ So, the man curtsied from where he stood, making Merlin uncomfortable with that.

A druid, or so he tells me.

_Where you expecting me here? I hadn't seen you when I looked with my magic. _Merlin inquired.

_No, Lord Emrys, I was here by chance, but such a thing as coincidence doesn't exist. Every person we encounter in our lives is part of our fate._

That man was certainly creeping Merlin out, talking about fate as if it was the most natural topic in the world, whispering his name, not being polite enough to talk with his mouth instead of his mind, just like a certain druid boy with a bloodthirsty trait. Nevertheless, instead of pointing out those facts, the young dragonlord replied:

_Oh, that's intriguing. So you believe in fate and destiny?_

_I'm a Druid, Emrys, accepting fate's designs is an essential part of our culture and creed. _

_Right. I almost forgot that, don't know how it happened. Anyway, then you think that I was destined to meet you here, today. Why so?_

_Because you need to know about magic afar from Albion and Eire._

When Adair mentioned it to Merlin, he remembered that magic was indeed weird, harder to practice in Gallia. If his possible assassin could answer those questions, then at least meeting him would be worth something.

_You know why it seems suffocated here?_

_Yes, Emrys. It's because there is a silent movement in the world, one that aims to reduce magic to a mere myth, a child's tale. In the known world, Albion, Eire and Tirmatur are the only places where magic still flourish freely. But the events set in motion were to change it, until a choice was made, love instead of hate, and a destiny long abandoned reemerged to come true. _The older man projected to the dragonlord's mind.

_What makes you think like that? I've never heard that magic was dying._

_You cannot hear what doesn't comes to your ears, Emrys. Your fate has many paths, some leading to more fulfilling ends than others, the only constancy is that you're to aid the Once and Future King and Albion's golden age._

_Hey, why do you think that? _

_When I was your age I met the Diamair, the key to all knowledge. Your path, Emrys is an intricate one, it's full of choices and consequences, yours and others. Due to some influences, you were heading into a future of pain, in which you'd lose everything you hold dear and you be attached to a promise that would bring you immortality at a bitter price._

All that conversation was getting more cryptic, nevertheless Merlin wasn't buying a single thing. Kilgarrah has told him that none can choose their fate and none can escape it, also, since he has arrived in Camelot, many things happened that proved the dragon's point, one example being Freya. The mere idea of your choices changing it completely denied that statement, and he'd rather trust in the Great Dragon than at some random druid that was there collecting water and thought that it was nice to lecture him about fate and destiny out of nowhere. Well, at least he was able to discern, from that talk, that the man in front of him wasn't (probably) someone sent by Morgana to get him, Arthur and Gwen of the way, so he'd just be nice to him and send him off.

_Erhm… Adair, right? _The man nodded _Well, now I'm making sure that the Once and Future King doesn't have a panic attack, so I should probably just take some water and head back to him. _The man nodded again, in understanding.

_Well, it was nice to meet you, I guess. _Merlin projected while he filled his flask with water.

Adair was already moving to Merlin's other direction, when he whispered into the warlocks mind:

_If you require aid, Emrys, you'll find it in Tirmatur. It's northeast from here, where the land meets the sea. _

_I'll keep that in mind. _Merlin smiled reassuringly.

_Farewell, Emrys._

_Farewell, Adair._

And they both departed, going to their intended destination.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter will take long to come out, because I'll be traveling. Also, there will be more Morgana there and yes, it'll take a while for Arthur, Gwen and Merlin to go back to Camelot and I'll use the "they aren't setting anywhere" excuse for the not having news. Maybe they can hear a rumor or two about a witch queen, but there'll be no mention to the kingdom, haha, guess you'll have to wait.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thanks to you all the followers and to those that have favorited my story.**

**Now, answering reviews:**

**To ladygoddess8 – thank you for reviewing other chapters, that's really nice of you. Maybe Merlin feels kind of OOC because I never actually figured out exactly what he believed in, at least after season 3, if Morgana was already completely doomed, if he only hated her and blamed her by then, like, I'm not even sure if he healed her because HE wanted to or not to cause Arthur and Gwen a heartache. In truth, I don't know why in the series he believes every damn word that Kilgarrah says. The dragon had proved that he could easily manipulate him and yet, Merlin goes and does mostly what he wants (with some exceptions, but I think that those actions were expected by the dragon). That's why. About the question of Merlin's destiny, well, it is pretty much the same, at least about magic. Also, Merlin is kind of paranoid here, expecting Morgana's charge, because he still doesn't believe she just simple let Arthur and Gwen go.**

**To larasmith – thank you, again, for always reviewing my story, it's really important for me. In Tirmatur, as it is a piece of land which has close relations to Camelot … you can guess from there, the truth awaits, at least a full report, afar from rumors and everything. About Arthur, he'll discover the truth about Morgana, at some point, how he acts about that, you'll have to wait to read (but I'll try to be true to the character). Well, in Gwen's case, in episode 3x08, I was quite disappointed with her. She saw Morgana performing magic, setting something afire, she goes there and her "friend" is rude with her. I think that it'd be more coherent for her character to ask Morgana directly about it, but instead, she goes and speaks with Gaius – which is theoretically obligated by law to tell the king about any signs of sorcery – and she tells him what? That she thinks Morgana has magic and, because of this, is automatically evil. Yeah, she had bad experiences with magic, but she knew that magic had also cured her father before. When your best friend has a secret that would lead to a death sentence if found out or if that friend does something you consider to be extremely bad you talk to them, to know their reasons, instead of judging them. **

**To The Richmaster – thank you, and I hope you can enjoy it more. 1. Before Morgause, when she was up to something, she'd ask for help. The one that has isolated her was her sister, that's why I thought it'd be logical for her to be open to second opinions. 2. You're guessing right. 3. Haha, guess you'll have to accompany my story, : ). 4. I haven't thought of that, it's not like he can't perform magic, it's more like it's harder.**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**At the Isle of the Blessed**

**Fifteen days since Morgana's coronation**

"We're reunited here to discuss the future of magic in Camelot. My sister, queen Morgana, has lifted the ban that prohibited its practice within Camelot's border, but there's still much to do." Morgause spoke to her audience, a group of thirteen magic wielders, all of them wearing a purple non-adorned tunic. They were holding their meeting at a round table, all elements were being used to indicate equality between them (Alice's idea), as well as a common goal. Between the attendants were Morgana Pendragon; Gaius; Alice; Alathor of the Catha; Ari of the southerner Druids; Iseldir of the easterner Druids; Aelhaearn of the Disir court; Breanna of Eire; Ruadan of the dissident Druids; Ealish, a wanderer witch; Finna, as a representative of the Old Religion minor priestesses; Anhora, the keeper of the unicorns and finally The Dochraid herself.

"What's there to discuss? Hasn't the Pendragon priestess restored the Old Religion in Camelot? The rest of Albion will follow swiftly, once they experience our wrath for abandoning the Truth!" The Dochraid spoke.

"Nobody is going to release wrath, curse or anything of the sorts. We're discussing pacific means to ensure magic will once again be accepted in the land." Morgana said sternly.

"Bah" The Dochraid snorted. "Is that why you brought traitors to this council? Are you already failing your destiny, Morgana Pendragon? Your fate is to bring back the Old ways, not blend in with those that practice the New Religion and deny the Goddess!"

"The Old Religion is once more freely practiced within Camelot's borders and that doesn't mean that's time to persecute those that aren't aligned with our faith. My Kingdom is one of freedom, old one, not of blind revenge." The queen added.

"That's what they deserve, our revenge! They burned us, destroyed our temples, scorned the Goddess and the sacred places! They committed the most hideous crime, they tried to extinguish magic from the fabrics of reality!" The old crone spoke while exalted.

This time, Iseldir replied: "Seeking revenge will only bring more suffering and pain. If we give retribution for every wrongdoing perpetrated against the people, we'll only end up killing our brothers." He paused to make sure that everyone was listening, and as none spoke, he continued: "That's not the Goddess' will. She teach us to live in peace and harmony, as a differentiated part of a whole. As singled beings, we learn our lessons during life, we cherish life as an expression of magic. But we can never forget that we're a unity, we're the Creation, every single one of us is united."

"Humpf, that's not the Goddess' will." The Dochraid objected. "Her will is simple: those with the Gift command and those without it obey! It should never be otherwise!"

"Both of you are wrong. You can't assume what is the Goddess' will without the Disir. Only they have direct access to her words." Aelhaearn said calmly.

"That's not truth. The Goddess speaks with many through visions, signs, energy and other means." Ruadan intervened.

"Ruadan is correct. The Disir aren't the only ones that possess direct contact with the Goddess." Alathor agreed.

"Yeah, I speak with the Goddess every day during my time with the nature, if you know what I mean" Breanna said, elbowing Alice, that didn't understand her statement, showing her confusion.

"The Goddess is inside of us." Ealish spoke.

"Pacifism is the true path of the Goddess." Ari replied.

"Wolfs don't fraternize with sheep, they eat them!" The Dochraid said.

"This discussion is pointless, if that's all you have to say, I'll excuse myself and go back to my duty." Anhora told them.

"Enough!" Morgana said so in a commanding voice tone, raising herself from her seat.

"This meeting will decide the future of magic in Albion, it's not to be taken lightly!" She stated, sounding more imperative that she intended.

"Your personal views concerning the Goddess are your own, this is not the place to discuss them." She said so more calmly. "Any of you that disagree is free to leave."

As the persons reunited there remained silent – not that she knew why, the young queen was expecting them to speak at the same time, stand up to leave, well, pretty much anything, not them actually complying – she proceeded:

"My proposal is the creation of an order, The Order of The White Dragon, to promote further interaction between magical and common folk; stablish a standard educational system of magic – that excludes dark magic –; monitor the corners of the kingdom through scrying; place wards in the land so that we are aware of invaders as soon as possible; train magic users for both policing and healing in the furthest villages; maintain a data base about every magic wielder in the realm; and, finally, stimulate the daily use of magic, by innovating technics to make life easier for the people."

"But restraining dark magic is not allowing magic to be freely practiced!" This time Morgause spoke, sounding skeptical and the Dochraid agreed, saying "Yeah".

"Dark magic shall only be practiced by those that are fully aware of their own responsibility towards others, and are fully compromised to not cause unjust harm." Morgana replied, not concerned in hiding her dislike of her sister's words on her expression, while Iseldir, Ari, Ruadan, Anhora, Finna, Ealish, Alice and especially Gaius nodded, the later smiling proudly at the young woman that he had known since infancy.

"It is not your place to impose conditions to the practice of magic. Only the Triple Goddess, through the Disir, can do so." Aelhaearn said in a calm demeanor.

"In my last visit to the Court, I expressed my opinions concerning the dark ways. The Disir have agreed with the restraint, as well as they have spared the last High Priestess's life." The queen replied, without betraying any emotion in her voice.

"Bah, you're only a child playing ruler!" The Dochraid snorted. "You're failing your destiny, Morgana Pendragon!"

"Failing my destiny would mean letting magic and the Old Religion perish!" She replied exalted, taking a deep breath before continuing, calmer by then: "What I'm doing is assuring that everyone can live in peace, benefiting from magic, not being harmed by it."

"You're still too much young, Morgana Pendragon. How can we be sure that you have the best interests at heart?" This time Anhora inquired.

"You cannot, nor can I, for what I believe is the best can be the worst for another or for yourself." She replied.

"I can only commit myself to what I think it's right. And what I believe to be right is to protect instead of hurt, to heal instead of kill, to give another chance instead of condemn. But to do all of this now, I need the assistance of every magic user in this land. To ensure that Camelot will flourish under the reins of the Old Religion, magic must serve the wellbeing of the people and not the rise in power of some particularly gifted individuals." She finished.

"It's a wise answer, young queen." He did a dramatic pause before adding: "But you seem to be unable to remain true to your beliefs when someone wrongs you."

"I have acted according to these principles from the moment I acquired full control of my actions. I don't understand what you mean by those words." She answered.

"Your heart, ask your heart about second chances and you'll know." He said.

"Once again, the subject of this meeting is magic regulation, not other things."

"Stubborn like your brother." Anhora added.

Morgana decided to ignore his remark and simple said:

"Do you agree with the terms of the institution created in order to regulate magic? Do any of you have anything to add? After that we shall discuss the rules applied to dark magic."

"What about the priesthood? Do you intend to monopolize the teaching of magic in your order?" Morgause questioned her.

"No. Magic education can be done by the Druids, by the High Priestess and by the Catha. The difference is that its entirety can be done by the Druids, without the need to affiliate themselves to the Order, but the training to be priestess and High Priestess must be done once the pupil has at least gone through the basic magical education provided by the Order. The same applies to the Catha. The idea is to initiate better instructed warlocks, witches and sorcerers in the priesthood." The queen answered.

"You mean **your** idea is to have formerly instilled in their mind **your** notions about magic instead of the millenarian doctrines that the Priestesses and Priests follow." Morgause countered.

"Is it truly like that, Morgause? Because when we spoke with the Disir, your doctrine wasn't considered that old, **sister**." Morgana responded.

"The freedom to practice the Old Religion cannot be restrained, Morgana Pendragon. The Catha takes young boys as initiates, from a young age they learn how to master their body with their mind and that's our philosophy. To stablish a former education system as a prerequisite to enter our order would render it impossible, as they need to grow up learning our methods to properly be a Catha." Alathor countered.

"Fine, but the priestesses don't require the same predicaments. I was an initiate after my twenties." Camelot's queen replied.

"Your case was an exception, Morgana." Morgause argued.

"And that wouldn't make me less High Priestess than you, Morgause." The young seer rebuffed.

"I thought you were different, Morgana Pendragon. But in the end, your accursed bloodline prevails! You want to control us, as if we were untamed beast waiting for your benevolence to domesticate us!" The Dochraid protested.

Before Morgana could argue with her, Anhora spoke:

"I have seen five hundred springs in this life, I have witnessed the former glory of the old days, when the Our Religion reigned in every corner of this land." He paused briefly and everyone was paying attention to his words.

"In my time, there was always a Queen and a King, one to rule and the other to wage war. The queen, representing the Goddess, would lead the people in every aspect of life, except war, because that was the role of the king. And a queen doesn't only rule those with magic, but every person and creature in her domains." He sighed before continuing: "The young queen's actions show us that she desires peace and in order to do so, she requests a part of the freedom to practice the Old ways like we did in the previous time. But make no mistake, you'd be fools not to accept this, because by doing this, we all will be building a future of peace." He paused again before proceeding:

"In the old days, I've seen many abusing their gifts and that caused kingdoms, families, sacred places and entire civilizations to ruin. So, if she proposes that destructive beliefs or knowledge be restricted and taught only to those that won't blindly assume some teachings as the truth, or to those that have proved to be capable of withholding their own responsibility for their actions, then I see no harm in it."

Morgana projected in his mind a "_Thank you_" and spoke clearly to those that were present:

"It is as Anhora has said. To ensure a long lived peace, we must commit ourselves to it, which means we have to relinquish some privileges in order to be able to live in harmony with everyone, not posing a threat to others or to ourselves."

"It seems as if you're in fact persecuting the religious veins of magic! Beware, Morgana, you can't dissociate the Old Religion and the Gift!" Morgause adverted. "You can't ignore your spirituality in your quest for the common wellbeing".

"Yeah!" Agreed the Dochraid.

"As long as you still obey the Disir's judgments, I don't oppose." Aelhaearn added.

"I agree with the queen's views. Magic must be used for constructive ends, not for destruction." Iseldir complemented and said more: "As long as Morgana Pendragon remains true to the principles she has exposed here, then she'll keep resonating with the Goddess's teachings, which means her spirituality shall be honed.

"Nobody asked your opinion, druid boy! Go graze with the deer like a good prey." The Dochraid rebuffed.

"This is what I propose. If you disagree, then be free to present another solution or leave this council." Morgana said sternly.

"Bah, you're only a bunch of children that know nothing of life, agreeing that we must keep our heads down and be nice to those that have hunted us! I'm leaving and I won't offer my help to any of you! Don't come later on, crying and saying that the flower you used as a weapon didn't protect you against their fire!" The Dochraid told them in an exalted tone, getting up and teleporting herself from their meeting place.

"As long as there is free booze and those fancy liquors to those that agree, I'm in." Breanna said, completely ruining the seriousness of the Dochraid's warnings.

"I want to be in the healing division of the Order, queen Morgana." Ealish said.

"Me and my people follow your ideals, queen Morgana." Ari replied.

"I've already pledged my loyalties to you, the only true queen of Camelot." Ruadan answered.

Holding Gaius's hand, Alice said:

"You can count on us, Morgana."

"A limitation to those arrogant High Priestesses? I'm in." Finna replied.

"I can't completely agree on more restrictions, as I have explained before. Nonetheless, I can assure all of you that the Catha initiate's are rigorously selected and, until the present times, none has abused their gifts and knowledge. So I request the right to keep such legacy." Alathor spoke.

"A Catha dissident was the first Druid, queen Morgana. By knowing pain to its full extent, Ieldir has understood that the best way to serve the Goddess is to seek peace and healing to the hurts of the world. I reassure you, the Catha don't lightly harm others because they comprehend pain really well." Iseldir said, while Ari and Ruadan nodded.

"I had already gave my word towards the Catha, I won't change that. The only one left is the High Priestess." Morgana told them and turned her head to keep eye contact with her sibling "So, what is your answer? Do you agree with such terms or not?"

"And if I don't? You can't possibly abolish the highest degree of magical and religious knowledge of Albion."

"No, but you're not irreplaceable. Finna has finished her training as a minor priestess and we still can ask the Disir court and the spirits of the previous High Priestess for guidance." Morgana replied and struggled not to smirk, as the occasion wasn't appropriate for that.

Annoyed, Morgause replied: "Fine, I accept it. But not without reserves."

"We shall discuss them here as well, after making clear some points about dark magic." The queen said, continuing: "Everyone that desires to learn such arts must take tests in order to verify if they won't be corrupted by its power."

"It makes sense. You have the help of the Catha for that. We have mastered the techniques to read the mind of others." Alathor spoke.

"You can also request the assistance of the Druids. Our methods differ from the Catha's, but we also have proficiency in discovering the truth in ones heart." Iseldir told them.

"Thank you all for that."

Later, the meeting proceeded without many disagreements, and they came to terms about the creation of the Order of the White Dragon, as an executive branch of Camelot's reign that would manage magic and all the issues related to it. They also stablished a permanent council for that Order, presided by Camelot's ruler and formed by the representatives of the different ideologies within the Old Religion and a prominent magic user.

Morgana also did some concessions to Morgause and the priestesses, as the Disir judgment had obliged her sister not to cause harm to her, under the penalty instantaneous death.

So, by the end of the day, they had mostly agreed to unify magic's guidance and uniting those that were represented by their leaders in the common goal of using magic for the wellbeing of the people, which included fighting the wars against Camelot.

* * *

**Camelot's castle, the queen's study**

**Sixteen days after Morgana's coronation**

"So, how was the hocus pocus meeting? Many people were turned into frogs?" Gwaine asked Morgana while grinning.

Not for the first time, Morgana wondered why she had knighted the roguishly looking man and more, why he was already one of the designed knights to patrol the areas around Essetir. He certainly had the talent with swords, and was grateful for being released from the slave trades during her scouting mission in Essetir, as well as brave (or dumb enough) to actually go to Camelot while an entire army stood between himself and his destination, arriving shortly after the end of the first battle (he said he lost track of the time in a tavern in the middle of the way).

"So, had a not-so-friendly time with your sister and that soured your mood? Did she stole your sense of humor too, my queen?" He bowed exaggeratedly at the last words.

"She wasn't the cause of that. Every time you're in my presence, Sir Gwaine, I'm reminded how much drunken people infuriate me. You reek of ale, at least indulge in your habits after your duty." She replied dryly.

"Oh, I know you love me, you're just playing hard to catch." He grinned once again.

"If one day you can say such thing about me, then Camelot will need another ruler, because I'll have completely lost my mind, Sir."

"You can't escape from me, my queen. The more you mistreat me, the more I love you." He teased.

"You should make better use of such love and offer it to someone that actually desires it. Go flirt with the stupid high amount of women that are head over heels for you and let me do my job without interruptions."

"I can't, I have a message for you." He said while leaning to a wall and biting his lips.

"What is it?" She sounded tired as she asked, not looking at him.

"I'll only say it if you gaze at my eyes." He teased.

"Can you cut the cheesy lines? It's not working, it won't work. Just spill it out." She said dryly, but lifted her head to make eye contact.

"You can't ask that of me, my queen. It would be utterly cruel of you to deprive me of your beautiful eyes." He said while grinning.

"If that's all you have to say, you can go, Gwaine." She replied, annoyed.

"A druid boy called Mordred request an audience with you, my queen." He recomposed himself while saying this, doing his best to be as formal as possible while delivering the news, cracking a smile at the end, as he already knew about every gossip of the kingdom, so he was aware that the boy was important for her (which he discovered after a night involving Gaius, a donkey, a ridiculous high amount of ale, and a need to keep the remains of ones dignity).

He eyes gleamed as he said Mordred's name and hope of a life with love finally began to spring again in Morgana's heart. For long, after she had lost her babies, she thought that she'd never know the love for a child like a son or a daughter, but here he was again, the young druid boy that she felt so connected to. For her loving Mordred was as easy as breathing. She didn't know why she needed to breath, nor why she had such feelings for him, the only thing that she knew was that she did and she could only let her emotions run free.

So the queen abruptly stood up from her seat and immediately run towards the study's exit, intending to go to the council room as fast as she could.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, after a long time an update! I was travelling and then I was writing other things, that's why I didn't uploaded anything sooner. So, basically, dropped Gwaine and Mordred on parachutes. And I'll probably write more about Morgana's medieval welfare State. Except that maybe next chapter will be entirely about Merlin or have the two of them, I'm not sure. Also, I don't know if Morgana and Gwaine are OOC, as basically she is mean to him and he's flirty with her (hey, that's what happened in the series, but I don't know if he'd patiently listen to her rant without giving up). **


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thanks to you all the followers and to those that have favorited my story.**

**Now, answering review:**

**To larasmith – Again, thank you for always reviewing every chapter, : )**

**I think that in the show Gwaine's loyalty was Merlin's, not Arthur's, at least in the season 3. He was still being convinced that Arthur was a better person than a nobleman or royalty and, in the end, if some ruler actually showed goodwill to the people and everything that would be the one we'd follow. If Arthur returned, he'd side either with Merlin (not Arthur truly) or who knows? Ruadan's remark isn't a prophecy, just what he believes in, as she brought back magic and is the legit ruler of Camelot because Arthur is basically dead, in terms of civil rights or claim to the crown. As a hint to Gwen's and Arthur's roles, the Once and Future prophecy is still valid, so it's bound to happen, it just won't be the same way as expected or shown in the series because, well, this is a fanfiction, haha. Do you think that they would openly fight like that? Who knows, in my opinion, Arthur wanted to talk with Morgana, I assumed this by his words during their confrontation in episode 4x13 and 5x02, I think he still hoped that she'd back down. I think he only saw her as a true enemy after she attacked Gwen in episode 5x06.**

**And also thanks to CyrusDiamon, for pointing out that I had posted the chapter 8 two times. I've corrected it, so, to those that began reading this story only now, there it is, : )**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**Camelot's Council Room**

**Sixteen days after Morgana's coronation**

The queen strode to the room where Mordred awaited her, slowing down her pace and recomposing herself before she entered the Council Room. When she did, she saw a figure – still smaller than herself, but not much – wearing a dark green cloak. As the figure heard the sounds of the door being opened, he turned and the young queen took a good look to his face. His dark hair was getting curlier, his clear eyes were shining brightly and he had a big smile plastered on his face.

Mordred run in her direction and Morgana, forgetting she was supposed to never betray any emotions that could be used against her, did the same. They hugged in the middle of the room and Morgana gave the first genuine smile, at least outside of the dream's realm, in what seemed like forever. She cried and laughed simultaneously and Mordred's reaction mirrored hers. Both had experienced many hardships during the last years, and it was a relief to finally be with someone that they cared about and that would also cherish them. Morgana was the first to speak:

"Mordred!" And she distanced herself from him to look at his front before continuing: "You're alive and well! After the attack to Alvaar's camp, I didn't know what was your fate!" She exclaimed.

He replied directly to her mind: "_Morgana, I'm alive and well, as you can see, not thanks to Emrys, though._"

She decided to withhold their conversation mentally, using her magic to prevent it from being heard in other magic users' minds, and retorted:

"_What do you mean by that? Has Merlin attempted against your life?_"

"_I never thought he'd have the courage to tell you, that coward! Always hiding behind his fate and never standing up for what is right! He was supposed to protect everyone with magic, he's our messiah, but instead, he cowers in fear, forsaking his own kind for the sorts of Uther Pendragon!_" He hissed in her mind and clenched his teeth, while fisting his hands.

"_Mordred, slow down. What did he do_?" She inquired.

"_He was there, during the attack. He made me trip, Morgana, when two guards were about to kill me! How could he? He was supposed to be our savior!_" His eyes were filled with tears as he projected that thought to her and the seer hugged him again, kissing his hair and rocking him in her arms, before saying in his mind:

"_It's ok, Mordred, you're safe now. I won't let any harm befall over you._"

He cried and soaked her blue dress shoulder while she patted his soft hair. When his tears were reduced to sparse sobs, he locked eyes with her and projected:

"_I came here as soon as I heard the news. You became queen and lifted the magic ban! Camelot is safe for us that have magic!_" His voice sounded more cheerful, nevertheless, she could still notice that the boy in front of her had witnessed and felt much more pain and suffering than a thirteen year-old boy should have.

"_Yes, I fulfilled part of my fate, the part about bringing back the old ways._" She replied.

"_Do you think it will last_?" He inquired and she perceived the fear that was present in his clear round eyes.

"_I hope so. I intend to unite those with magic and without it. I want to build a kingdom without fear and persecutions, in which everyone can be free to make their own choices_." She touched his nose with her index fingertip and continued: "_And for that, I'll fight until my last living breath._" She smiled at him.

"_But that is Emrys's and The Once and Future King's fate!_" He exclaimed.

"_Well, that doesn't stop me from trying, Mordred_." She answered.

"_You know that people can't defy their fates! It has been like this since the beginning of time itself!_" He replied.

"_Yes, but I'm not exactly fighting my fate here, because I don't have only a path to choose. The Once and Future King prophesy is too old and complex, which leads to many interpretations._" She retorted.

"_So it means you can replace Emrys as magic's champion_?" His eyes shone brighter with the perspective that she could be the solution to all of the magic community's problems.

"_No, young Mordred, not in the same way as him. I'll never be magic itself._" She said and saw as he lost face at her answer. Nonetheless, she promptly added: "_But that doesn't mean that my different way to ensure that magic roams free around the land will disappoint those that seek shelter to be who they are._" She smiled at him and he grinned in response.

"_Also, I think that there's an important position to be fulfilled in my kingdom. I'm looking for a young Druid boy, age between thirteen and fourteen, dark hair, clear blue eyes_" She giggled and he chuckled in response before she continued: "_to be my ward. What do you think, do you know someone up to that role?_" He laughed and embraced her again, while she responded tenderly, openly showing her affections for him.

* * *

_Morgana's dream_

_Seventeenth dawn after her coronation_

_Morgana was holding Gorlois's hand, observing a vision in formation while fully aware of her own spiritual body. Her father spoke to her:_

_"__Breathe deeply. Do not let fear control you. Whatever it is that will be shown to you has not yet come true. You have to learn how to detach yourself from the fear and pain in the vision. It isn't real yet, you can change it."_

_The images gained definition. She noticed that they were in a field, white due to the snow that was pilling up, that also had a frozen river close by. In the middle stood a red baby dragon surrounded by three wolves, one coming from the south, other from the east and the last from the west._

_Somehow, her eyesight caught a light colored serpent crawling above the frozen water, and she knew that the animal would strike the baby dragon that was already struggling to contain the advances of the three wolves._

_Morgana was nervous with that situation, already understanding which kingdom were represented by each animal. _

_Meanwhile, the young dragon was bitten in the shoulder by the wolf coming from the west, but somehow managed to blind him, flying from the other wolves and burning the serpent before she could even attack. _

_Them the vision blurred and the wolves subjugated the dragon and torn him apart._

_The images changed again and the dragon successfully harmed the wolves, but then the serpent bit its leg and the magical creature fell to the ground and was once again overwhelmed by its enemies._

_The young queen was hyperventilating at those scenes, and Gorlois spoke to her again:_

_"__Do as I have taught you, daughter, take deep breaths, imagine that you are in a serene place in which no harm can be done, you can change here and now what you're seeing. Do it, Morgana"._

_"__But, the dragon …" She tried to protest._

_"__It is the future, my child. You can choose to feel its pain now, when you can't do anything to help or you can choose to wait and feel the apprehension when it comes, and yet, feeling worried is also a choice, you can still choose to detach yourself from the suffering." He answered and added: "Choose, daughter."_

_Morgana did as her father told her, she took deep breaths, slowing her heartbeats rate and imagined the gardens of her childhood home. As she did, she materialized that soothing place and her father told her:_

_"__Well done, Morgana." He patted her hair and continued: "Now, what do you think your vision meant?"_

_"__Four kingdoms striking Camelot, which was the red baby dragon." She replied. _

_"__Which do you think are the kingdoms?" He inquired._

_"__A wolf from the south is Odin's kingdom, Caedmon. A wolf from the west can only be Anglia. A wolf from the east means Caerleon." She replied._

_"__And what about the serpent?" _

_"__I'm not sure. Lot's crest has two snakes, like Cenred's, but they are green and aren't serpents." She answered._

_"__Think deeply about it. Who has that crest?" He inquired again._

_"__Hum…" She reviewed every known crest in her mind, having the sensation that the answer was on the tip of her tongue, but it was slipping her mind. Then, she felt a shiver down her spine as she finally remembered:_

_"__Amata." She responded, showing apprehension and uncertainty on her face._

_"__You don't have to fear Morgana, you can win!" Gorlois reassured her._

_"__But how? And why there were three different visions?"_

_"__They were the possible futures, Morgana. As you already know, some futures are clear and others aren't. It depends on you if Camelot will prevail or not." He answered._

* * *

**Somewhere at Gallia**

**Same time as Camelot**

"What exactly are we looking for?" Merlin asked Arthur.

"Blueberries, _Mer_lin. Gwen says she is craving for some." The former prince replied, annoyed, turned his head in his friend's direction and added: "You know we can't go back empty handed, she's been quite moody lately."

"That's nothing if compared to your normal behavior." Merlin replied in a low voice.

"What did you say?" Arthur inquired.

"I said that's nothing to worry as you're her savior."

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows questioning were did his friend come up with those remarks, but was too tired to actually argue, as it was before dawn when his wife asked him to go, during a cold autumn night, almost winter already, to find her berries. He left the inn that the three of them were guests because apparently there was a shortage of blueberries there, and the owner told him that he might, with a lot of luck, find some berries in the forest.

So basically, here they were, hunting small fruits for Gwen. If it were small animals, Arthur would certainly be happier.

"Just keep up the pace, Merlin." Arthur retorted and proceeded: "The faster we find those berries, the better."

"You know that's practically impossible, right? In less than fifteen days it will be officially winter, Arthur."

"Just shut up, Merlin! It's too early in the morning for your ranting."

"I sense that someone is cranky for having to wake up early in the morning, tsc, tsc." Merlin mocked him.

"I don't get cranky, _Mer_lin. Only girls get cranky." Arthur retorted and added: "I am perfectly used to be up before the first ray of sun, or have you forgotten all our quests?"

"You mean all those times I saved your sorry arse?" The warlock whispered.

"What did you say? Why do you keep muttering, Merlin? Are you more of an idiot before the sun comes up, huh? That's why you can't even understand that nobody will hear what you say if you keep whispering?" The blond-haired man asked.

"I said that you meant all those times that sleep was scarce. And, in your scale, at least I can be less idiotic, but in mine, your pratness only gets higher and higher."

"Merlin, shut up!"

"Already missing a comeback?"

"No, I'm just too tired to put up with you! Just help me find those damned berries so that we can go back to bed!" Arthur exclaimed and continued walking while looking at his friend's direction, which led him to trip on a loose root and fall.

"Look at what you made me do! I tripped because of you, _Mer_lin!"

"No, it was due to that big head of yours, it's a wonder how it doesn't anchor you to the ground the entire time, alongside that big belly of yours."

"Stop babbling and help me out, _Mer_lin!"

"Yes, sire."

At that moment, both men heard someone humming a tune. They stared at the direction of the sound and noticed a gray goblin with white hair strolling in the woods, approaching them. Arthur unsheathed his sword while he was still standing up, what forced Merlin to evade the weapon in the process of helping his friend to stand.

"Stop right there, creature!" Arthur warned.

"Or what?" The goblin questioned.

"Or I'll slice you with my sword!" The former prince replied.

"Arthur he did nothing against us, leave him alone –" Merlin tried to reason.

"No, Merlin. Goblins are dangerous, it's better to strike first, before he possesses one of us or uses his sorcery to turn us into donkeys!" Arthur was exalted, probably remembering his last experience with a goblin.

"Hum … behaves like an asshole" The goblin said and continued, sniffing the air: "Smells like an asshole" and paused briefly, as if deducing an answer to a question, only to speak: "Must be an asshole!"

"You little bastard!" Arthur swung his sword, trying to hit the creature.

The goblin used his magic to paralyze the Once and Future King, and telling Merlin:

"Emrys, you are here." The goblin smiled and continued: "This means there's hope for magic."

"What are you talking about? If my destiny were on the right track we would be at Camelot, making preparations for Arthur to become king and bring back magic, not me." Merlin replied.

"The Once and Future prophesy, huh? Did you heard its many versions?" The old creature asked.

"There is only one prophecy, the one Kilgharrah told me." He replied, incredulous. He wasn't sure he could trust the goblin, he too was wary due to his last experience.

"The Great Dragon, huh." The goblin commenced to laugh uncontrollably and Merlin wondered if the creature's magic was weaker in this land too, if he could stun him and run with Arthur – to which he'd need his whole magic in order to carry his friend.

Before the dragonlord could come to a conclusion, the goblin spoke:

"I'm impressed that he went that far."

Before the young warlock could ask him what did he mean by that, the creature continued:

"I waited and waited, for five hundred years that's all I've been doing since magic began to wither from the mainland. There were many futures and only one leading you here, in this day, at this time." He added.

"What do you mean with all this? What future are you talking about?"

"The one you reach your fulfill your fate entirely, Emrys. You are magic itself, but that doesn't mean you can't multiply and give it back to the world."

"That doesn't explain anything. Do you expect me to magically produce another me?"

"The creation of life involves magic, but it isn't something done by one person alone. It takes two to dance, Emrys."

_Oh, great, so the idea is to go on 'multiplying' my talents, which means more pregnant women and more blueberry hunts near winter_. The dragonlord thought.

"You are part of such a beautiful fate Emrys, don't go on distorting my words." The goblin said.

"Wait, did you read my mind?"

"Yes, I did, you're vulnerable here while I have spent five centuries getting used to the low flow of magic in those lands." The old goblin answered, pausing briefly before adding: "You have to multiply, but not with women, you have only one mate settled for the rest of your current life."

"Oh, really?" Merlin licked his lips, partially because they were dry and in part due to the perspective that he wouldn't spend the rest of his life chasing after his royal pratness, while having no one to heat him during cold nights. It was a little spark of hope of love, as he longed for it since he had lost Freya. Not that he had forgotten her, no, she'd always have a special place in his heart. It was just that he felt so lonely sometimes, wishing that he had someone to share his joys and worries with, like Arthur had Gwen.

"Humrum, and she has chosen love instead of hate. That's what allowed you to meet me today."

"Won't you give me a clue about who it is? Do I know her or not, is she short or tall, fat or slim, young or old, pretty or ugly?"

"You don't need a clue, deep down you know who it is. You were always each other's destiny, no matter the choices you made in this life."

_The only one that has always been my destiny has been Arthur and the last time I checked, we couldn't produce a baby together, no sir_. Merlin thought.

The goblin laughed loudly and the young warlock didn't even need to ask if he had read his mind.

"There's someone else. Take your time to think if you want to." The old magical being grinned.

"Is that all you had to say, 'go and multiply'? If that's it, could you please release the other part of my most known fate?" Merlin asked.

"Surely, Emrys. I'll do it after you collect the blueberries."

"Do you know about them? As you're here, have you seen any around?" The young warlock asked.

"I have some with me. If you wish, I can give you." The goblin replied.

"I don't know, last time I found a goblin, he wasn't the most generous magical being and I read in the bestiary that it's common of your kin always ask something in return. No offenses, though." He was honest, as he knew that the creature could read his mind even if he lied to him.

"Fine, if it eases your mind, I have a request to ask in exchange: follow more your heart then the advices of great masters or said wise beings."

"That's it?"

"Humrum, that's it."

"You're a strange goblin." Merlin wasn't quite believing that it was so easy, when generally everything in his life was extremely hard.

"And you're a strange man, accepting to be stepped on instead of defending yourself. When you let this go on, nor you nor the Once and Future King become better men. You only get bitter and feel that you're treated unjustly, while your king thinks that he can relieve his stress on you, instead of facing his own problems."

Merlin was taken aback at being scolded by a goblin, what led to another laugh outburst from the creature.

"Here are your berries, Emrys." The magical being placed a jar on the ground and said: "It was pleasant to meet you." And he disappeared in a cloud of dust.

When that happened, Arthur moved again and ended up getting his sword stuck on the ground due to the strength put on blow aimed for the goblin.

After a lot of complaints from Arthur, mostly about how Merlin did nothing when the former prince was fighting the threat, the two went back to the inn where Gwen awaited.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thanks to you all the followers and to those that have favorited my story.**

**Now, answering reviews:**

**To larasmith – Again, thank you for always reviewing every chapter, : )**

**Well, Morgana will have to fight Amata and the rest, and the Sarrum will probably have a dirty trick under his sleeve, so … you'll have to wait for the next chapters to read about it! Basically the goblin said that there were many variations for the prophecy, as this is a Mergana fiction (even though they haven't had an encounter during present time for what, twenty chapters, haha) it's implied that yes, they'll at some point join forces. Did you think that? Surely if I were trying to wipe off magic, I'd certainly fear those two together, haha.**

**This chapter has an Arwen fluff, I think it gets clear why Arthur's level of pratness has been higher lately. I'm still deciding if they go back before or after she gives birth, so I don't know yet. **

**To Masterwheeler02 – Thank you for reviewing this fic, it means a lot to me and I'm thankful that you've taken your time to write what you're thinking of this story, : )**

**Merlin, Arthur and Gwen will return, eventually, and in this chapter they will receive the first news about Camelot (but not very detailed …). You don't have to worry, Morgana's and Merlin's relationship, once he has returned, will be a turbulent one, until something happens and … you'll have to wait to read. I have this bad habit, I throw something at you and then explain later, like the whole visions thing or from where she took the name "Order of the White Dragon". **

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**Somewhere at Gallia**

**Inn of the village of Calmar**

**Morning, twenty days after Morgana's coronation**

"Arthur, you've been treating Merlin too harshly! Even when you were a prince in Camelot you weren't as mean to him as you are now." Gwen spoke with apprehension in her voice. "What's going on? You only do that when there's something troubling you. What is it?"

"Guinevere! Erm … there's nothing wrong, everything is fine." He fumbled with his words and ended up nodding, as if that would make it more believable.

"No, there's something troubling you, I can tell. It's ok, Arthur, I'm your wife, you can share your problems with me." She told him, tenderly.

"It's nothing, really. Merlin has been more of an idiot recently, that's why I'm scolding him more." He tried to placate her concern.

"Arthur Pendragon, don't you dare think you can fool me for even an instant. I can tell there's something wrong, please, tell me what it is." She pleaded.

The former prince sighed and admitted defeat: "Fine, there's something troubling me, but it shouldn't be, in fact, I should only be happy now, with the baby and everything."

"Is it the baby, Arthur?" Gwen asked, placing her hands on his cheeks. "Are you afraid of –"

"Losing you at childbirth like my father and I lost my mother?" He finished her sentence, lowering his eyes in shame, because for him he was failing as her husband by showing how much he was afraid.

"Arthur, look at me." She asked of him and when he complied, she continued speaking: "That won't happen to us, you must have faith." She tried to reassure him.

"You don't know that, no one can guarantee you'll both be safe." He retorted.

"But I can have faith, Arthur." She smiled at him and proceeded: "and I wouldn't give up the chance to give birth to your child for nothing in this world."

"Not even to stay by my side?" He said it with such an unsure voice that Gwen's heart ached due to his distress. She didn't want him to feel like this, afraid of what was probably the most beautiful gift that they would receive in their lives, but she could understand what made him so scared. She also didn't want to part from him, she meant it when she said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she knew that no one should waste their life letting fear always triumph, no, life itself was hard, but worth living and their baby was worth the risks that came along, so she decided to say:

"Arthur, you know that I want to stay by your side more than anything in this world. Yet, the both of us can't let the fear of lost ruin every happy moment we have." He was about to say something else, but she kept going before he could speak: "You're the love of my life, Arthur, and your existence brings me an extraordinary happiness that I don't think I'm able to describe in mere words." She touched their foreheads and continued: "I can't control our fate and I understand how it is scary not to know if you'll be there with me on the next day, but I can choose, everyday, to have faith on us and hope for the best. It won't work every time, yet it has up until now." She smiled at him and kissed him softly, hoping that her words would soothe his worries, even though she couldn't promise him anything more concrete. He returned the kiss and embraced her, whispering to her ear:

"I love you too, Guinevere. You are the hope in my life, I just don't know what I'd do without you."

They snuggled in each other's arms for a while, until they heard a knock on the door.

"Merlin." Arthur grunted, visibly not amused by his friend's interruption.

"Be nice." Gwen told him, smiling brightly at him before adding: "Husband."

The blond-haired man returned the smile and answered: "As you wish, wife." And kissed her again in the lips, forgetting Merlin at their doorstep.

Nonetheless, the young warlock had his ways to remind him of his presence and he knocked again, to which Arthur responded:

"It's open! You can come in!"

"Right away, sire." Merlin replied. Even though they weren't any longer master and servant, he hadn't lost the habit of calling the former prince of such. Well, it also helped their disguise, as Arthur assumed the surname Du Bois, which continued to be a notorious noble family even heard of in that foreign land.

"So, ready for breakfast? It's served downstairs." The young dragonlord said cheerfully.

"Humrum." Arthur replied and extended his arm to Gwen, saying: "If you'd give me the honor, my wife." His smile went from one ear to another, and Merlin couldn't help but smile too. His two friends were so happy together and that also brought joy for him, especially now that he knew he had someone to love too.

Guinevere intertwined her arm with Arthur's and replied: "You don't need to ask twice, husband."

Merlin noticed it was their thing lately, calling each other husband and wife. Every time one of them called the other that, both smiled like two teenager lovers.

The couple went ahead, leaving the warlock lost in his thoughts. When he noticed them gone, he followed swiftly, hearing as Arthur talked with the inn's keeper.

"_So, any news from Albion?_" The former prince inquired in Gallish. Merlin could understand due to a spell he had casted on himself.

"_There are rumors about a witch queen, in one of the realms. That's all that I've heard._" The man replied.

"_A witch queen? That's outrageous! Which kingdom was it?_" Arthur asked.

"_I don't know, the big gossip was only that_." The man paused, before adding: "_But if you want to know more, for the right amount of coin, I can ask around._"

"_We'll be travelling soon. I don't think I have a lot of time to wait for more details_." The blond-haired man replied.

Merlin thought that Morgana had done it, she had killed Uther and become queen. The few moments of happiness had vanished, being replaced by the paranoia that followed him like a shadow lately. He had to be alert. Now, Morgana had the entire kingdom at her disposal, what would probably lead to attempts against Arthur's and Gwen's lives.

"_Fine, as you wish, my lord_." The innkeeper said.

"So, what did he say?" Gwen asked, as she hadn't learnt any other language except her mother tongue.

"That there is a witch queen in one of Albion's kingdoms! Can you imagine it?"

"Oh!" Gwen raised her hand to her mouth, shocked with the news. In fact, her mind immediately suspected that it could be Morgana. She had magic and she was different since she returned from that lost year, even becoming a cold, distant and rude person, so much different from the lady she have known for most of her life. Yet, when they left Camelot, the Morgana that said her farewells acted like her best friend again and Guinevere wanted to believe in her, believe that it was just a bad phase and that magic hadn't tainted her soul. But there it was. The notion that there was a witch queen meant that either one of the kings lost their lives or had married off a witch.

Gwen hoped that the later assumption was correct, that nobody had died and that maybe the witch wasn't even Morgana. She decided to hide her concern from Arthur, because for him Morgana was like a sister and her practicing magic would be a big betrayal.

"That's terrible!" She added.

"Humrum." Merlin murmured nervously, waiting to hear what his friends thought about a ruler with magic and knowing it was probably Morgana. Depending on their answer, it would be easier to convince them that she was evil.

"Yes, I can only pity the realm that has succumbed to such evilness. Nevertheless, it certainly wasn't Camelot. Father and Morgana would never let the kingdom befall on the hands of a wicked sorcerer, nor would the people." He said it reassuringly, but Gwen and Merlin could notice that in fact he was worried that it could be Camelot that was now ruled by a witch.

"You're probably right, Arthur." It was Merlin who said so.

"What are you talking about, _Mer_lin? I'm always right." Arthur smiled, but that didn't fool his companions. He was concerned about his kingdom and his family and was using Merlin to change the subject. Probably, he needed a good bickering to calm his nerves.

"Only when the subject is food, sire. If you want, I can give you a list of all the times you've been wrong. Do you want me to begin?"

"Oh, just shut up, Merlin."

* * *

**Camelot's training grounds**

**Same time**

"Use your other leg to support your weight. When you attack, it's not just your arm that'll do the job, Mordred. You also have to use your footwork in order to increase your speed, the strength of your strike and dodge." Morgana instructed the young boy.

When her ward corrected his position, as she had taught him to do, she praised him:

"Good job, Mordred! You're improving wonders! Now, come on, spar with me." She prompted him. The two were wearing chainmail armors and training swords. Obviously, Mordred's was a little too big for him and needed adjustments, but that didn't stop him from accepting her offer.

Morgana and Mordred practiced their sword skill as if they were playing, enjoying themselves and laughing. Every time that the young boy almost hit her with his sword, she praised him, boosting his confidence. She was teaching him the same way her father had taught her, at first lecturing about how he should position himself and how he should do his footwork. Then, they'd spar and she would increase her speed only when he was already capable of striking a blow or was able to not receive any when he defended himself from her attacks. That was how she got so good, her father made sure to not let her have doubts about her potential, not without actually showing her what she should do, and only challenging her more when he knew she was ready for it. Other thing he had taught her was how to read her opponent correctly, which was a decisive course of action during a battle, one she had been using not only in her physical battles, but in the everyday of her ruling.

Another thing was clear for those that witnessed her behavior. Since Mordred's arrival, the queen began to smile more, laugh more, instead of presenting her cold persona to court and every other aspect of her life. For most of the time, she had been their ruler – an effective, protective, but loveless one (they didn't know if for everything in general or just her enemies) – and it was as if that role had consumed her and there was no possible way that the ruler could coexist with the person she truly was. Nevertheless, since the druid boy came into her life and she changed, becoming this loving and caring person openly when she was with him.

Some of her subjects wondered if that's what she would be like, most of the time, if she had a family of her own – in fact, she was already starting one by taking the boy as her protégée. To those that believed in her, their general opinion was that it was a good thing, because even though she had been more generous as a ruler than the previous ones, every time she presented herself to the public there was something in her eyes, a sadness maybe, that made her appear as a distant, even though benevolent, ruler. Someone that had passed through so much pain and wrong things in the world that had hardened her heart so much that nothing could be able to break her shell. In part, that was a good thing, because that would certainly prevent her from having a nervous breakdown, like her father, the former king, and decide to wipe out a significant amount of the population, but it also saddened her loyal citizens, as they wished for her happiness too.

The others subjects didn't like to have one more sorcerer as part of the royal family. Imagine if she died before the return of the rightful king? That little bastard boy would certainly be proclaimed the heir, even though he was of common birth – devilish birth to those that believed that magic, the druids and the Old Religion was something from The Enemy. Yet, those people had dissidents too, because many didn't believe that Arthur and his maid of a wife could rightfully reclaim the throne, as he had also tainted his bloodline with commoner's blood.

For Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine, Mordred's presence and his effect upon Morgana were good things.

Sir Leon knew a little bit more and was aware that the recent times had been difficult for her, but the queen kept doing her job impeccably – even if he didn't agree with some of her decisions, he respected them, and he admitted that she was indeed doing good things for the kingdom like decreasing the taxes, providing a pension to the families that had lost their husbands, brothers, sons and fathers in Camelot's battles, and structuring a system to regulate magic's usage. He also had noticed that she usually seemed distant, unreachable, even though she would stop and listen to what he had to say and either agree with him or present logical arguments as to why she thought differently in that matter.

No, the detachment he observed in her came from what seemed to be a conscious effort from her to hide her true feelings and thoughts, probably because she didn't truly trust no one. But with Mordred that was changing, not that she told him all of her secrets, but that aloofness wasn't there anymore and she wasn't hiding her happiness, which strangely caused a lot of her subjects to smile with her.

To Gwaine it meant that it was less likely for her to dismiss his romantic approaches in a rude or cold manner. In fact, she had been laughing a lot while denying his advances, which only fuelled more his desire to take a hold of her heart.

So, when she was leaving the training grounds, embraced with Mordred by her side, the roughish knight asked:

"Going to bathe, my queen?" He grinned at her, lifting only the right side of his mouth.

"Yes, Sir Gwaine." She replied, not caring that he'd probably pester her again with his flirtatious jokes.

"Mind if I join?"

Turning her head to properly look at his face, she answered: "In fact, I do. I'm sure assisting me during bath times isn't one of your duties, Sir."

"I don't mind to –" he paused in order to speak with a sultry voice: "exceed my functions." And gave her a mischievous smile.

"Oh, really?" She did her best to seem surprised, before adding: "Then you won't mind doing an overnight training with all the new recruits, right?" She smiled at him and he thought that at least that was an improvement from her previous grumpy reactions.

"Sure." He retorted while running his hand in his lustrous hair, trying to be seductive. That didn't work, because she ignored him and kept talking enthusiastically to Mordred.

Leon, that was nearby, muffled a laugh and Gwaine gestured that he was almost gaining the queen's favor, to which the other knight merely laughed more.

* * *

**Camelot's Court Room**

**Afternoon**

Queen Morgana was in a white dress, seated in the throne and hearing petitions, when a man with olive skin and dark hair – wearing a chainmail and being accompanied by another man, a tall one with a stubble and light hair, also in an armor suit – knelt in front of her and introduced himself:

"Lady Morgana, I mean, Queen Morgana." He bowed and she recognized him immediately. It was Lancelot, the same man that had defeated the griffin and saved Guinevere's life when they were both captured by Hengist's bandits.

"Lancelot!" She exclaimed.

"You recognize me, Queen Morgana?" He asked with surprise in his tone of voice.

"Of course, how could I forget? You saved Gwen's life once and Camelot too."

"I only did what was right." He paused a little and continued: "I have heard that Camelot is accepting those that prove themselves worthy of the title of knight in their ranks. I desire to apply and so does my friend here, Percival." The taller man nodded and bowed.

"And I shall be honored to have such a valorous knight between our ranks. You may follow Sefa, she will show you were the test are going to take place in this afternoon." The queen replied and gestured to her servant to indicate the location for them.

"I'm thankful, queen Morgana, for this opportunity. It has been my dream to become a knight and follow a worthy ruler."

"So I take it that you see me as someone worthy to follow." She smiled at him and asked: "Even with the fact that I have magic?"

"I have witnessed, beforehanded, that magic can be used as a force for good. It only depends of its user's intentions, not much different from any weapon that we have at our disposal. And also, I have heard about your achievements and actions as queen of Camelot. I think that your cause is just and the right one, so that's why I decided to join your knights. It would be a great honor for me." The honorable knight answered.

The queen read his aura, sensing that his words were true – not that she suspected him, but lately every precaution was needed, as she had many enemies and there were means of disguising oneself as another. So, she nodded and said:

"Very well, Lancelot, Percival, you'll be fairly tested and we shall see the results, though I already have a guess about them." She smiled sincerely at them, as joyful was a constant mood for her in the past two days.

The two man bowed and followed Sefa's lead.

* * *

**Queen's study**

**Evening**

Arthur's and Gwen's letters were on top of her desk and Morgana stared at them apprehensively. She wanted them back, her brother and her friend, but she was afraid. Not knowing their reactions scared her more than the prospect of fighting four battlefronts at the same time. Well, she had indeed talked with an old-aged version of herself, which must have meant something, right? But the notion of them being disgusted by who she was, by what she was born with, frightened her. In truth, she also wanted to be loved and accepted by them, since she has freed herself from Morgause's control, she had realized that, nonetheless, she wasn't sure if they were able to do that. So, she had been postponing that decision, always telling herself that there were more important things to do.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door, she swiftly placed the letters at a drawer in the furniture and locked it, then she said: "Enter."

Sir Leon entered the room, curtsying at the entrance and saying: "My queen."

"Sir Leon." She acquainted him.

"I have brought the report you requested from me." He stated.

For a while she made a confused expression, but then she remembered what he was talking about, so she replied: "Oh, the noble's report. Thank you, Leon. I will take a look at it as soon as possible."

He nodded and gave her the piece of parchment. After that, he decided to speak, hesitantly:

"And … have you thought about your brother, my queen?"

"Tell me something, Leon, what do you think about magic?" She asked instead of answering his question.

"I … what does it have to do with your brother, Queen Morgana?" He inquired, frowning.

"Everything, Leon. If you agree that magic isn't something necessarily evil, then you probably also agree that lifting the ban and setting rules for its practice isn't something bad either." She reasoned with him. He nodded and she proceeded:

"But that isn't how Arthur sees it. He was raised to think of magic was an evil that must be fought, because it corrupted those that had it and threatened his people and family." She paused briefly and asked him:

"Do you truly believe that Arthur would simply accept all the changes that I have brought? Do you think that we would maintain an active usage of magic in his realm? And more, do you think that by doing that he wouldn't jeopardize many opportunities for both the common and the magical folk alike? I mean, by not allowing magic as a daily occurrence in the people's lives, many won't be healed and possibly die because of the lack of it, or magical solutions won't be used, therefor making the citizens struggle with things that could be easily solved with magic." She explained better.

"My liege, I think that he would be shocked at first, like I was." He paused briefly, assessing her state of mind and concluding that she was indeed in doubt about what to do in relation to her brother. So, he added:

"But if you try hard enough, I'm sure he can be convinced that magic isn't necessarily a bad or evil thing." He paused again, still noticing that she was distraught, before proceeding:

"Arthur isn't Uther, Morgana. I think he is capable to let aside his prejudice and do the right thing." He pointed out.

"But there's a possibility that he won't." She stated, recomposing herself again in that mask of indifference that the first knight was beginning to dislike incredibly. Yet, he decide to counter her argument:

"Yes, but you must have faith in him, like he has in you." For a moment, he thought that his words had reached her, as she glanced at him with uncertainty visible in her eyes, but that lasted only for a brief moment, as she took a deep breath and said in a confident tone:

"Yet, that isn't good enough, nor certain enough." She replied.

Morgana paused a little, and when she spoke again, he could notice the doubt in her voice: "I do wish to have them back, Sir Leon, I do. Nevertheless, my personal desires cannot come before my duties." She sighed before adding: "I cannot give them a different life, one in which they can be free to be whoever they are, just to let him take it from them the moment he comes back."

"Arthur wouldn't –" He tried to counter, but she interrupted him:

"We can't be sure, Sir Leon." She sighed again and proceeded: "You also didn't accept magic in a blink of an eye. And for this to work, that's what's needed from him."

"What are you trying to state, my queen?" He inquired.

"That until we are in a more stable situation or until I have the time to properly speak with Arthur and Gwen about all the changes I brought to the kingdom, I don't think it is wise to go search for them and bring them back." She answered.

"Because of the people's sake?" He asked.

"Yes, due to that." She replied, stoically again.

"I disagree in part, my queen. But I also think that it can be dangerous to change monarchs during an external war."

"There's that also. And more coming" She remarked and added: "So, for now, we'll postpone the subject, right?"

"For now." He replied.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thanks to you all the followers and to those that have favorited my story.**

**Now, answering reviews:**

**To larasmith – Again, thank you for always reviewing every chapter, : )**

**Well, they do miss her, they just don't often talk about it though. Gwen certainly is more able to forgive and Morgana having magic as well as Merlin will come as a big shock for Arthur. I think Arthur's distrust and hate towards magic is something that you can't exactly measure during the seasons, like in episode 2x08 we'd kill Uther and be a protector of magical folk and everything, which changed drastically in the end of the episode, in fact increasing his personal hate for magic. So who knows what will be Arthur reaction? I think nobody. **

**Gwaine isn't actually trying to win Morgana's trust, it's more like he wants to be in a relationship with her (well, because she's awesome and he has a thing for ice queens), so would she trust him to do a life or death mission? Probably not. As her 'evil' persona, Morgana in season 4 still respected Lancelot and having him by her side, I think that respect and admiration will only grow. About Percival, I think he is neutral towards magic and not much of his personality is shown in the series (guess he just doesn't have much screen time), but in general he's a good guy that will do as told and everything. I think that the most important point here is that they're following her not only because she's restoring magic, more like because she shows she'll accept anyone that needs help. In this chapter we'll have a glance about Morgana's thought concerning ruling a kingdom and everything. **

* * *

**Chapter 21**

**Camelot's council room**

**One month after Morgana's coronation**

"That was the twentieth attempt of assassination, my queen." Leon said, and continued: "Lot has been growing bolder as we speak! Something must be done!" He exclaimed.

"It's fine, Leon. Thankfully we didn't withstand any loses, as all the attacks were aimed directly at me." Morgana replied.

"This is outrageous, my queen!" This time Gwaine protested. "You must put that bastard back to his place!" Lancelot and Percival, that were also present, agreed.

A servant poured some water to them. To most of the members of the council, his presence wasn't notice, nor the fact that he had in his possession a magic item that allowed King Lot to hear whatever was said in the room, even though he in the safety of his camouflaged camp.

"No harm was done, because, as you all know, I'm a seer." Morgana stated calmly.

"Oh, yeah, you're right, my queen." Gwaine agreed and added: "Lot must really be extremely stupid, thinking that he could surprise you, as you're a seer."

The king of Essetir, that was hearing their conversation in that exact moment, clenched his fists and teeth in anger.

"Indeed, his actions are of utmost stupidity! Trying to assassinate a seer!" Leon chuckled.

"I think he must have a brain in the same size as a bird." Percival said and complemented: "Some birds have bigger eyes than brains."

"Maybe he should be thinking of changing his crest to a pooping pigeon. It would suit him better, as that's just his state of mind for sending assassins against our queen." Gwaine sneered at his own commentary.

"Please, let's not indulge in this unnecessary badmouthing of him." Lancelot said, always the noble knight, but he also added: "He's just a dull-witted man for attacking our Seer Queen, he deserves our pity."

Lot was puffing in anger, blood rushing at his temples and he was absolutely furious. He'd teach that bunch of witch ordered poor excuses of men what a true king was made of. He would attack them that same night, using the secret passageways underneath the city of Camelot. The first thing he'd do was behead their pretty queen and make a necklace with her knights' tongues.

"He must really be unintelligent, as it is notorious that I'm, well, a seer." The queen herself said.

"Maybe it's a requirement to be king of Essetir: to be idiotic and a coward at the same time!" Gwaine happily exclaimed.

"Don't forget the cretinism too." Percival added.

"Well, I think we could all tell more of his unpleasant characteristics. It isn't as if it's hard to remember how moronic King Lot can be." Leon said.

Lot that was still listening to them gripped the magical stone reproducing their conversation and tossed it on the ground, shattering the object in many tiny pieces.

"My king!" The witch that accompanied him exclaimed, as he had just smashed one of the most precious advantage they had over their enemies.

"Quiet, witch!" He shouted at her, angrily. Growling, he added: "I'll cut their tongues for speaking ill things about me!"

The blond-haired woman – that also had clear blue eyes and pale skin – merely nodded at him.

"We attack Camelot tonight! I'll make them pay for having insulted me!" Lot said.

* * *

**Camelot's underground**

"My king, our reinforcements haven't arrived yet, do you truly believe that's wise to invade Camelot tonight?" The sorceress asked Lot.

"Quiet, witch! You're here to fight that devil's whore, not to question my judgements!" He snorted angrily.

"As you command." The woman replied.

Lot was followed by three hundred men. He and his troops were previously hidden in the forest surround Camelot, but as the king lost his temper with the knights and Morgana, he went straightly to the city's underground, rushing his surprise attack plan.

They were walking for more or less ten minutes when they met a dead end. Lot spun to talk with his magical subordinate and said:

"There's a fucking wall in front of us where it was supposed to be a stair! Where's the map? Don't tell me that you read it upside down or else I'll have your head on a plate!" He yelled at her.

"My king, you are the one with the map, it's in your hands." She stated the obvious.

He murmured a 'oh' and screamed:

"Do I have to do everything on my own? This worthless map isn't indicating the place correctly! And now what? This is all your fault! If you had done your job properly, we would have a fucking right map, not this piece of crap!"

"I'm afraid it's not her fault, King Lot." One of the soldiers pointed it out.

"Who the hell do you think you are, huh? Do you have a death wish? I'm always right, someone fucked up everything! And that someone is this useless witch! If you say one more word I'll have your tongue for opposing me!" He cried out in fury.

"She didn't mess up because the true map was never acquired, only a copy was displayed in Camelot's vaults." The soldier calmly spoke.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lot asked confused. By then, the witch that accompanied him realized that they were no longer the ones surprising their enemies.

"Check mate, King Lot." The soldier said, taking off a necklace, only to show that in fact he was a she, more precisely queen Morgana.

Lot was horrified that his nemesis was there, staring at him, ready to fry his head and he didn't see it coming, not at all. So, he just gapped in shock meanwhile his witch underling acted.

The witch tried to chant a spell, but Morgana was faster, aiming directly at her:

"**Hleap on bæc**!"

And Lot's ally flew on the air, ending up falling on the solid grow while Morgana spoke:

"Not so fast this time, huh?"

"You damned witch!" Lot yelled and attacked her with his sword, but his blow was parried by another soldier that was nearby. The man also took off a necklace and showed his true face. It was Gwaine and he used the attention he had gained to say:

"You just proved yourself, Lot! We weren't sure if you'd be so moronic to take the bait, but I guess our queen knew better!"

"But it was fun to badmouth you!" Another soldier said, also taking off his magical artifact and reveling he was Percival.

In the meantime, Morgana used her magic to make a barrier for Lot's remaining soldiers don't reach their location, and signaled – using the strap attached to her arm – her men to capture them. At the same time, Lancelot and Leon also took their disguise, facing five knights from Essetir alongside Percival, while Gwaine dueled with Lot.

Essetir's king tried to hit Gwaine's chest, but the roguish knight dodged the blow and struck his hand with the sword's hilt, forcing the king to drop his weapon. Unarmed and with his allies busy tried to defend themselves, Lot gritted his teeth and tried to run, evading his adversaries blades, but was stopped by Morgana's invisible barrier as he hit his face hard against it, causing him to fall on the ground with a bleeding nose.

"Not so fast, King Lot." Morgana said stoically and put a spell on him:

"**Swefn**"

Lot was fast asleep after that and his knights didn't last long against four of Camelot's finest fighters.

The queen took a strand of hair from the other witch, using that opportunity to take a good look at her. She seemed to be younger than Morgana, she had blond hair, pale skin and facial features that indicated that the woman wasn't from Albion, probably had more kinship with Saxons or other Germanic people. She could even be from the Baltic seas, judging her appearance.

The queen tied the hair to a doll made of straw, similar to the one she used to control Morgause, and chanted:

"**Clústor eallne þæs drycræftes hire sawle!**"

"Hey, my queen, sorry to interrupt you when you're hexing the enemy, but … what do we do with those guys over there?" Gwaine asked, using a flirtatious tone while speaking the last sentence.

"The ones that have surrendered shall be imprisoned and those that haven't, well, are they even alive?" She inquired.

"They all surrendered, once they witnessed our awesomeness!" Gwaine grinned while speaking that.

"You mean mine, Lancelot and Percival's awesomeness, right? You were sooooo busy trying to catch the big prize that you forgot about your comrades, Gwaine." Leon teased him.

"Hey, I helped too." He said, pretending to be indignant at Leon's words and added: "You weren't complaining when I saved your pretty head just a while ago." He said mockingly.

"Okay, guys, you were all great today, no need to tease one another." Morgana tried to placate their small bickering.

"Oh, my queen, if you praise me like that I don't know if my heart can take it." Gwaine teased her.

"It's not the time for your jokes now, Gwaine, we have more important matters to deal with." She dismissed his words, but not as coldly as he expected her to do.

"Hey, Gwaine, let's talk about something else, you trying to win our queen's favor is too repetitive." Percival said.

"I agree." Lancelot commented.

Gwaine dramatically acted as if he had been struck by something and said: "Ouch, when even the rightful and love defender Lancelot says that, even I get hurt. I have feelings too, guys."

"It's more that you act disrespectfully towards our queen. That's not how an honorable man courts his loved one." Lancelot told him.

"Hey, she isn't complaining, right? And it isn't as if she'd ever notice me if I courted her like an honorable and boring man, no offense, Lancelot." Gwaine retorted.

"I heard that, Gwaine." The queen said from a certain distance, as she was checking the prisoners with Leon. Then, she replied: "I would never court Gwaine, not even if he was the last man on this earth." She said, smiling wickedly.

"See? She doesn't smile like that to any of you. I'm special!" Gwaine stated, grinning.

"Yes, if you call those people that are mental like that, then, yes, Gwaine, you're special." Percival mocked him. The blond and Lancelot laughed, but Gwaine just replied:

"You're all jealous that I get a special treatment."

"Yeah, totally." Percival sneered.

"Hey, boys, can you please give us a hand? Ruadan will come here at any minute." Morgana said, paused briefly and continued: "Percival, be a darling and carry Lot upstairs. Gwaine –" The queen was about to ask him to carry the young witch, but she changed her mind in the last minute and said instead (probably afraid that Gwaine would grope the poor girl, judging by his inappropriate remarks towards herself): "Lancelot, you carry the girl."

Gwaine was about to protest, but the queen interrupted him, saying instead:

"Gwaine, help me and Leon to watch our 'guests', ok?"

"Yes, your Highness."

* * *

**Essetir's capital**

**Courtyard of the Castle**

**Five days after Lot's capture**

"People of Essetir!" Morgana spoke clearly and loudly to the crowd reunited in the courtyard. She had Camelot's knights, including Lancelot, Percival, Gwaine, Leon and Lohengrin, as well as the magic users Ruadan, Alathor and Brienne. Also, the queen was wearing her chainmail, as she had readied herself for a battle that was easily won as she had magic and even the help of some of Essetir's citizens to get inside the citadel.

"I present you your king, Lot." She paused dramatically as said man was presented to the crowd and forced to knee by her side.

"This very man killed your previous king, Cenred, and blamed the last High Priestess, Morgause, when that wasn't the truth. He lied to you all and sent his men – Essetir's sons – to attack Camelot unjustly."

The people reunited there were listening attentively to her, awaiting to know what the witch queen would do to their king and what she'd do to them.

"He used the same magic he so vehemently persecuted and condemned to disguise his underling as Morgause and murder Cenred."

Murmurs were heard from the multitude, some saying it was only her trying to trick them into believing that, others, that had more knowledge concerning their king's true nature, were convinced that she spoke the truth.

"Today, I present you a choice, a chance to live differently." She spoke to them and the crowd made some silence to hear her.

"A true ruler is one that doesn't let his people starve, one that is just and provides the needs of the people, being those shelter, protection or simply the right to make their own choices, to pursue their own happiness as long as they don't harm unjustly others."

She took a deep breath and continued:

"If you don't feel safe in your lands because bandits roam the area and your king doesn't send his soldiers to defend you, he fails as a true ruler. If you starve because the taxing rate is so high that you don't even have enough to feed yourselves and your families, your ruler fails you again. If your roads are dangerous and swarmed by outlaws and your products either perish or are stolen, or you take a long amount of time in a journey that would be fast if you had a decent road, then, again, your ruler fails you! If your loved ones die because of lack of medical help, your ruler fails once more!"

She took a deep breath again and she also noticed that she had the entire attention of the people reunited there.

"A true ruler is only one that provides the needs of his or her people! If they have power, if they have soldiers, they do so because you pay the taxes, you enlist in their armies, because you produce the food that they eat! So, it's only right that the ruler's orders, his or her actions have the people's best interests in mind! That's the only way that a rule is legitimate."

Some people gasped when she spoke, others looked at her with admiration, but others were fearful for the mob's reaction. Morgana took a deep breath again and continued:

"If you join me, I'll be a true ruler to you! You'll pay a just sum of taxes to give you roads, fortresses, healers and education. Magic shall return to this realm, obeying the regulation of the Order of the White Dragon, so it can be used for good, to give opportunities where there were none!"

That surprised part of the crowd, as they were expecting the usual, just another monarch swooping in and despoiling them from their food, their cattle, the royal coffers, not a proposition of a better life, especially not coming from a witch. So, maybe, that rumor saying that Camelot accepted anyone that just wanted to star over was real and now their queen was in Essetir giving that same opportunity to them.

Others, the nobles that didn't want to give up their privileges, but also couldn't go openly against her as she spoke such encourage words to the peasants, decided that it would be best, at first, to know the extent of her changes (maybe they could be good, in the general scenario, and not many of them had any affection either for Lot or Cenred).

So, someone screamed a 'yay' and the rest of the population followed, and that day became known as the one in which queen Morgana won a war with a speech (because no one tells the hard work her intel had to do in order for that to happen and for keeping her rule in Essetir).

By the end of the day, Morgana Pendragon was queen of Camelot and Essetir.

* * *

**"****Hleap on bæc" – Flip on your back.**

**"****Swefn" – sleep (imperative).**

**"****Clústor eallne þæs drycræftes hire sawle!" – Lock all the magic of her soul!**

**So, I'll be writing my dissertation for my post-graduation, so I'll take a long while to update this story and the other (I'll try to finish a chapter for Uther's daughter today, if you accompany it too then cross your fingers, : )**

**Anyway, here I'll keep answering to reviews in the A/N, in the other fic I answer by P.M.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. It belongs to BBC.**

**Thanks to you all the followers and to those that have favorited my story.**

**Also, there is more talk about fate/influence/blah blah blah (I don't have any intentions to offend any religion or defend anything of the likes, it just fit to the story, it's fictional).**

**Now, answering reviews:**

**To larasmith – I totally agree with you, non-enraged Morgana would be the best queen Camelot could hope for, as we watched her being like Arthur's conscience in season 1, then she didn't have so much screen time in season 2, also there were a lot of bad influences and we saw how it ended – badly. Arthur still has the loyalty from Camelot's citizens, at least the non-biased ones. Morgana will have another vision and the readers can figure out how she'll deal with Arthur. About the witch, this chapter answers it, : ) **

**To Masterwheeler02 – I'm sorry for taking so long for the Mergana to happen, : (**

**Well, I can give you an estimative that in 5 or 6 chapters they will finally meet again, : D**

**(and that's why you shouldn't trust someone whose profile picture is a turtle to write a fast paced story, haha). Anyway, thank you for accompanying this story. Also, I felt frustrated for the lack of Mergana, so I wrote another story that has it: Uther's daughter (but I can't guarantee that won't be drama there too, muahahahahahahahahaha).**

* * *

**Chapter 22**

**Camelot's Dungeon**

**One day after the conquest of Essetir**

"Lot has fallen, alongside his subordinates. A new government is being installed in Essetir in which I'm the ruler." Morgana paused briefly so her words sunk in the woman's head, even though the witch in front of her remained in a controlled aloofness. Nevertheless, the queen continued:

"So … whatever reason you might have to follow him no longer exists."

The blonde-haired woman didn't have any reaction to the seer's phrase, she only kept a stoic expression.

"I assume that you understood what I said, Ylva" Morgana spoke again, reaching the pocket of her chainmail to retrieve the Crystal of Neathid.

The Nordic woman looked at her with an incredulous expression and asked in her own language:

"_How do you know my name?_"

"For the very reason I foresaw Lot's attack, I'm a seer." Morgana replied.

"_Your enactment doesn't fool me! That's not the case! You must have something that show you more than we could possible know of!_" She retorted, clearly exalted.

"You are a smart girl, I'll give you that." The queen spoke and added: "The answer is in my hand, this crystal. Basically I scry a lot." Morgana lifted her eyebrows while saying those words, proceeding: "In exchange of your aid, I can show you want you desire to know."

"_Why don't you just look into your crystal to find what you want and leave me alone?_"

"And why would you miss the chance to discover the fate of your loved ones?" The seer inquired, seriously.

A single tear left Ylva's right eye and she answered:

"_They're probably dead! I failed him, I knew that the punishment for that would be their deaths!_"

"There can only be an executed order if there's someone to obey it or if it has reached its receiver." Morgana calmly told her.

The younger woman gaped in shock. When she regained her senses, she promptly asked:

"_Have you stopped Lot's soldiers? Have you saved my family?_"

"Why don't you see it yourself? That a look at the crystal, think of who you want to see." The queen replied.

The blonde-haired woman inclined her head to the Crystal and images formed on its surface. She saw her mother, father, younger brother and sister, all of them having a meal in the company of Camelot's soldiers.

By then, tears sprung freely from her eyes and the she started crying in relief.

"Well, as you distracted me in the first battle I had to know more about you, of course. I had the means and I used them, Ylva. Though I cannot see beyond your arrival in Albion and your capture, two years ago." Morgana told her honestly, attempting to gain her trust.

"_Then, why have you kept me these last days here, in your dungeons?_" Ylva said it with a tone of unconcealed rage.

"Many reasons. One of those could be that I was waiting for you to tell me everything first. Also, I was busy making preparations for Essetir's invasion. Oh, there is one more, I was making sure that you'd still have a family by the end of the month." The queen replied in a calm demeanor.

"_You monarchs are all the same! You only care for yourselves_!" She blurted.

"Not true, I couldn't let you out when you'd be frenetic to save your loved ones and wouldn't think straight. They are safe, Ylva, and you can be reunited with them, today if you cooperate with me." The seer reasoned with the other witch.

"_What do you want?_"

"Tell me everything you know. After that, I'll give you some choices and I hope that you choose wisely." Morgana replied.

The two women talked about many things, including Lot's alliances, how he had come to capture Ylva and her family and the most important thing: the absence of magic in other lands, or better saying, the difficulty in its practice.

* * *

**Camelot's Council Room**

**A month and ten days after Morgana's coronation**

The council was gathered for another meeting,

"Any news from Lohengrin?" Morgana, who was wearing a blood-red gown that day, asked Leon.

"Yes, your Highness." The first knight bowed and proceeded speaking: "It seems that Essetir's occupation is being easily held without uprisings until this moment." He replied, cheerful with the news.

"Let's not celebrate it so soon." She replied and continued: "Is he following the schedules for the implantation of the Council of Villages?"

"He has sent riders for all of Essetir's villages. I'm sure that within a month the first council will take place."

"Good." She paused briefly and continued speaking: "What about the other items in discussion?"

"The refugees are coming from every corner of Albion, I believe that soon we won't have room to accommodate them all inside of Camelot's walls." One of the nobles spoke.

"What about the keeps and fortresses outside the citadel, in particular, the abandoned ones? Haven't the Druids helped rebuild some of them with magic?" The queen inquired.

"Yes, we have already one fortress and three keeps that can lodge at least two thousand people." He replied and added: "A significant number of them have magic, my queen. Should we give our registers to the Order of the White Dragon, so they can take care of this?"

"After this meeting, go after Ruadan and give him the records."

"Yes, your Highness." He bowed.

"Gaius, how is yours and Alice's training?" Morgana asked.

"We have found promising apprentices, nevertheless I believe this is a matter for the Order now." The old physician replied.

"Yes and no." She stated, pausing briefly before announcing her decision: "My lords, I require from every one of you a report about the villages in your lands. Among the information that is needed are the population, the ages of the residents, their leadership, if they have one within their community, and their disposition concerning magic."

"Once you have delivered your reports, a healer shall be designated to each village, as the first step for a more effective presence and use of magic for the wellbeing of Camelot's citizens. You have fortnight"

The noblemen nodded, most of them still enchanted to obey all her orders.

"Have we received any news from our emissaries in Mercia, Nemeth, Gawant, Dyfrien and Dumnonia?" Morgana asked them.

"My queen, Mercia has agreed with establishing trade again." Leon replied.

"Nemeth has declared its neutrality and Rodor has expressed his desire to keep commerce with us." Lord Cygnus added.

"Gawant has renewed its alliance with Camelot." Another noble responded.

"In another hand, Dryfien has withdrawn its support to the kingdom. Olaf stated that the restoration of the Old Religion as Camelot's official religion go against the treaty of the Five Kingdoms." Leon said.

"Apparently, Dumnonia also kept its neutrality, even though Alined has exteriorized his wish to remain trading with us." Cygnus complemented.

"Well, most of it was expected." The queen said, smirking at the thought that she could finally gain some gold with all the hexed armors and weapons she had kept in deposits. With the incoming of more refugees, she needed more food, so, at least until the next Beltane and harvest, she had to buy extra food from the neighboring kingdoms.

"Very good. Anything else?"

"We have received news from Caerleon, Anglia and Odin's kingdom, Caedmon." Leon said.

"And what are the news?" The queen asked.

"My queen, Carleon and Caedmon have declared war. The Angles are gathering an army, our spies believe that they intend to attack whichever kingdom the battles take place or the factions involved after they clash." He answered.

"Which means another assailant against our lands." She sighed and added: "Are their troops ready to march or are they still assembling them?"

"My queen, I believe that within a month or two they'll gather their swords and strike at the same time." Leon replied.

"So we must decide our strategies." She paused briefly, intertwining her fingers and supporting her chin on her hands, then she spoke: "I'll speak with Ruadan. We'll need all the magical aid we must possible acquire. The council is dismissed."

They all stood up and bowed as they left the room. Morgana projected to Ruadan, Gaius, Alathor, Alice and the others' minds that another meeting of the Order's board was being convoked.

* * *

**Gallia's Countryside**

**Village of Rivertur**

**Same time as in Camelot**

Merlin couldn't believe it. Three months, three entire months! Arthur was insane! Apparently, his prat of a friend wasn't all that shaken with those news from Albion. No, the clotpole had to be the hero and teach some villagers, in the middle of nowhere, how to defend themselves for the annual bullying time that a nearby village inflicted them. Bloody hell, why did that cabbage head had to be so righteous when it came to defenseless people?

Well, only that such rule never applied to Merlin, not that he couldn't take care of himself, it was just that sometimes he wished that his friend showed more appreciation to him, not that it would happen, though.

While they were there, helping completely unknown villagers that weren't even the slightest relevant to their destinies, Morgana was with Morgause, in Camelot, being evil and mistreating everyone that didn't have magic. In fact, he wasn't sure if those with the gift were safe from her inexplicable anger. Lately not even Gwen, who had been her friend since they were twelve, was left alone by the seer.

Kilgharrah was right, Morgana was evil and she was a threat to their glorious fate, yet he was stuck in that foreign land with Arthur and his moral code that didn't allowed him to go back in his words.

In part, Merlin wondered if the blonde-haired man had promptly agreed to the task due to Gwen's pregnancy. The warlock knew that it was dangerous for her and the baby to keep travelling in horseback going from an adventure to another, as Arthur said that it was what they were doing, but he also knew that the longer time they took to return to Camelot, the worse it would be for his friend and other half of the coin to regain his rightful place as Camelot's king (because let's face it, Uther was probably dead in the same day he proclaimed his daughter as his heir).

Well, at least he wasn't the only one that thought that. Gwen talked to him in one evening, while they waited for Arthur to come back home. She had witnessed Morgana performing magic and she instinctively knew that her former mistress was up to no good.

Merlin felt relieved that someone else was aware of Morgana's true nature, even though Gwen said she was very confused as the woman that gave her farewells to Arthur and herself was the same one that she had knew her entire life.

The dragonlord was sorry for her. Sometimes, he also wondered if there was still something left of the Lady Morgana that had helped him save his village, that same woman that wouldn't let any injustice happen, or if there was only that evil shell in her place.

When those thoughts would come to test his determination, he would remind himself that no one chooses their destinies and no one can escape it. So, even if he **did** want to believe that there was still some goodness left in her heart, he knew that it would never prevail over all the hate and anger as she was fated to be the darkness of his light, the hatred of his love. If his previous experiences had taught him something was that she was beyond redemption and that he would have to fight Morgana with everything he got or else he would fail his and Arthur's destiny.

So, he choose to tell Gwen that it was right to distrust Morgana, because she had magic and also due to her missing year, in which they didn't know what she had been through. He even said that Morgause could have changed her forever and that they would have to be careful. That was certainly not what his friend wanted to hear, but Gwen was a rational person, he knew that she would do the right thing if they were faced with a situation that the options weren't the least pleasant.

He comforted her saying that they would know exactly what was happening in Camelot now that they had settled somewhere and Gaius would probably be overjoyed to finally be able to send them a response letter.

She smiled at him, still unsure if that was really the right thing to do. Part of Gwen didn't want to believe that Morgana could have turned into an evil witch that had snatched someone's kingdom, more probably Camelot, but she was also suspicious of her friend (if they were still friends, if Morgana considered her as a friend or a foe).

In the end, Guinevere agreed that Merlin had come up with the best solution and both of them decided to only tell Arthur once they had more definitive information about Camelot, Uther and Morgana.

* * *

**_Morgana's dream_**

_They were in the place she called home before her father went to the northern war and never returned. It was one of her most fond location in the kingdom, somewhere she had cultivated mostly good memories. _

_"__Magic is dying outside of Albion and Eire." Morgana stated._

_"__Yes, it is." Gorlois responded._

_"__So … that's all you have to say?" The seer inquired._

_"__I remember that I already have explained to you that magic is creative power or energy. It is exactly what allows someone to change the fabrics of the reality built by men. Part of said reality is related to induce every person into believing that they don't have it, the creative power which pretty much is inherent to life." _

_For a moment she was pondering his words. Beliefs could alter the comprehension of what was truthful in the surrounding or in what was shown to us. She had learnt it with Morgause, how her sister was both manipulated and the manipulator, believing in the words of a long deceased spirit that claimed to be the Triple Goddess._

_"__So that means that those haters of magic have succeeded in every other land?" She asked._

_"__No, not every corner of this world is deprived of magic. In fact, in some places that it has been fiercely fought, magic still survives, weakened, but still there to those that have enough determination to seek it." He answered._

_"__Why, father, is magic so much hated?" She inquired._

_"__It is obviously, my child. If you make most people believe that they aren't capable of changing their reality, if their only option is to obey, they'll be more easily controlled." He told her, caressing her cheek and added:_

_"__It isn't something new. The desire to overpower others has drove many to use any means they had to stablish their point-of-view as the only correct one. Some of them have even used magic to do so."_

_"__Are my new adversaries also driven by such aspiration? I mean, to extinguish magic?" Morgana asked._

_"__Not directly, nonetheless they are influenced by some forces that they aren't aware of." He replied and continued:_

_"__Yet, instead of asking about this, you should be wondering why you have known such things at this time." _

_"__What do you mean?" Confused, Morgana inquired._

_"__During one's life, events happen in accordance with a pre-established plan, which many call fate. As I told you before, your fate are the lessons you assumed to experience in that incarnation. In different degrees, every occurrence was planned by you before you were born."_

_"__So, to know this now has a meaning." She concluded the idea._

_"__Yes, and you must find out how it is related to your fate." He told her._

_"__But how do I do that?" She was confused again._

_"__Your visions, Morgana. You chose to be a seer. Though, I'll be by your side, like always."_

_"__Okay, I'm ready."_

_Morgana breathed deeply in her ethereal form, and the background changed to a blue sky and a dry land._

_She saw two dragons, a red and a white one, in what seemed to be a mortal dance. Somehow, analyzing more her first impression, she realized that their intention wasn't to kill one another, but to create new life._

_They met midair and a golden energy run from their bodies, touching every place in the horizon and the once arid ground now was vibrant, filled with life and green from the plants, as well as the sound of animals._


End file.
